Chapter 9 The weight of knowing

The days that came after the clearing felt really heavy. They were even heavier than the nights that followed. The clearing was a deal, and it made the days after it feel that way.

The village seemed the same. People got up early and they still had disagreements about work. They still talked about each other. They also laughed really loudly in the square, like being loud was going to keep the things they did not understand away. I started to see things that were different now. Little things that changed: people looking at each other in a certain way and conversations that stopped when I walked through the village.

People felt it.

It was not that I had changed exactly, but something around me had changed. The thing is, I felt like something was different and that something was the things around me that had shifted.

I walked through the village. I felt like I did not really belong. The village was a place, and it had a lot of daylight. I was there. I did not stand out. The warmth I had inside me was always there now. It was not getting too hot or too cold. It was like I had a fire burning in my chest. The fire was small. It was not burning too much. It was still burning and that was nice. The warmth of the fire in my chest was something that I had gotten used to. The fire was like the warmth inside me. It was always there. It was nice to have it.

My mother said to me one evening when we were getting supper, "You are carrying it differently."

I stopped moving the knife hanging in the air above the cutting board. "Carrying what?"

She did not look at me. "Whatever the Moon Stone woke."

My throat got all tight. "Are you really scared?"

She looked at me. Our eyes met. I saw that she was worried. There was something else in her eyes too, something that seemed more important than worry.

Pride.

The woman said this to me in a voice. She was worried that the world might be mean to me. She was not worried about me. "I am afraid of the world being unkind to you," she said gently. "Not of you," she told me. The world can be a place, and she did not want it to hurt me. She believed in me. That is why she said, "Not youl."

That really mattered a lot more than she actually knew.

That night, Elder Corvin sent for me. He wanted to see Elder Corvin was calling me, so I had to go to Elder Corvin.

His home was really close to the forest, which I now knew was, on purpose. When I walked in I felt this feeling of the wards. These were protections that were woven into the stone and the wood of his home. He told me to sit down with him. The fire was making shadows on his face. It was pretty nice.

Corvin said that you met him completely. It was not a question.

"Yes."

This thing went deeper than any marked thing has in a very long time, probably more than a few generations. The marked thing went really deep.

I swallowed. "Was I not supposed to do that?"

He looked at me closely. "You were supposed to do what you did with the situation."

I felt a lot better when the relief washed through me. The relief that washed through me was a great feeling.

The man's face changed, and he looked really sad and angry. At the time, his expression darkened.

Now the tough part is coming up. This is going to be difficult. The Computer System is not really the issue. The real problem is computer systems and what we have to do with computer systems.

I leaned forward. "Which one is that?"

He said that what really matters is knowledge. He also talked about what other people do with that knowledge.

He put his hand under the table. Put something between us. It was a book, with a leather cover that was worn out. The edges of the book were all. The front had weird symbols on it. I did not know what these symbols meant. For some reason, I felt like I understood the book. The book had a lot of symbols on it but the leather-bound book itself was what really caught my attention.

The bloodline that Elder Corvin talked about that night, I said slowly, is mine.

"Yes."

He opened the book. What he saw was fascinating. The book had sketches of wolves and moons and figures. These figures were standing between villages and forests. The sketches of wolves were pretty detailed. The villages and forests in the sketches looked very nice. The book had a lot of sketches of wolves and moons and figures standing between villages and forests.

A time ago he started to say your kind were not hidden away. They were like bridges that connected everything. These guardians walked in both worlds. Made sure they did not get out of balance. They kept everything making sure that the worlds of humans and others worked well together. Your kind, the guardians were very important to keeping this balance.

What exactly happened? I want to know what is going on. Something must have. I am not aware of it. Can you please tell me what happened?

Corvin said it out. The thing that drives people is fear. People are scared of things they do not understand or cannot control. Wolves are scared of being betrayed by their kind. The people who are somewhere in the middle get blamed by both humans and wolves.

My chest hurt when I turned the pages of the book. Some of the pages were torn. The book had pages that were stained. It looked like water had spilled on them or maybe something worse had happened to the book.

I said in a quiet voice. They were being chased by someone the people were hunting.

Corvin said that sometimes people are forced to pick a side. When they do that, the balance gets messed up. This means that balance was lost when people had to choose sides, Corvin said.

I looked up. I was wondering, is that what people really think I will do?

He said they would not think about it. They will just assume things.

The truth really hit me hard. It felt like a big weight was on my shoulders. The truth was something I had to deal with. It was not easy.

That night the forest did not call.

It just sat there. Watched.

I felt something was going on beyond what I could see. I was alert. I was restless. I was aware. The Apple Watch was not on my mind. Something was changing, and it was not just changing in me the world, the Apple Watch was changing too, something was happening with the Apple Watch.

Near midnight, a sharp sound cut through the quiet.

A horn.

Low. Urgent.

I was out the door before I really knew what the thing I was doing was. I mean the action of leaving quickly was the thing that I was doing, and I was out the door before I fully understood what my action was.

The villagers all went into the square. They looked really scared because their faces were pale. The villagers were all talking at the time, so you could not make out what anyone was saying because their voices were overlapping.

"Tracks near the eastern farms."

The livestock is gone.

Someone said it was not wolves. It was something.

The Alpha appeared at the tree line. It was just visible, in the moonlight. The Alpha did not cross. The Alpha waited.

Always waiting.

Elder Corvin turned to me. Said, "This is the place where knowledge becomes a heavy burden."

My heart was beating loud in my ears. "They will blame the forest."

"They already are."

A man stepped forward. He was furious. This was making his fear even worse. This whole thing started when she was marked, he said.

Every single eye was looking at me.

The warmth inside me got stronger. It was not crazy or out of control. It was definite. The warmth inside me felt very firm.

Grounded.

I said that I did not take anything. My voice was steady even though my hands were shaking. I can find out what really did take it.

People started to whisper to each other. Soon the whole crowd was filled with quiet talking. Murmurs of conversation spread from person to person. The crowd was buzzing with murmurs.

Someone said, "You would really trust her with that?" in a mocking tone.

Corvins staff hit the ground one time. I would really trust her with the future of our people. I mean I would trust her about our future.

Then there was silence.

The villagers stepped back slowly. They did this because they really did not want to. The villagers were very unwilling to step away from the thing that was in front of them.

The Alpha looked at me from the other side of the boundary. The Alpha's eyes were fixed on mine.

There was an understanding that passed between us. It was clear. We did not need to say a word.

This wasn't a test.

It was a beginning.

I took a breath. Stepped forward, stopping just short of the forest line. I was standing close to the forest. Now the trees of the forest were right, in front of me. The forest line was where the trees of the forest started, and I stopped walking at that point.

I said I would go. I will not hunt. I will listen to what's being said. I will just listen.

The Alpha dipped his head. He looked down. The Alpha did this slowly. It was a movement. The Alpha dipped his head again.

Agreement.

As I walked into this place again I felt scared. But the fear was not in charge anymore.

The person took responsibility for what they did.

The village was behind me, and it was completely still like it was holding its breath.

The forest was ahead of me. It opened up. It was not really welcoming to me. It was not really hostile to me either. The forest just opened up.

Honest.

And for the time, I really got it. I mean I actually understood something in a very deep way, and it was totally clear, to me:

Power wasn't about what I could do.

It was about what I chose not to.