Chapter 5 The escape plan

"Bathroom. I had to pee."

He looked past me, into the bathroom, like he'd find evidence of something. What did he think? That I had a lover hiding in the shower? That I was secretly calling someone? That I was-

His eyes fell on the toilet. On the faint smell of vomit still lingering despite the flush.

"Were you sick again?"

"No. I told you, I just had to-"

"Don't lie to me." He stepped closer, and I instinctively stepped back. "I can smell it. You were throwing up."

"It's nothing. Just a stomach bug-"

"For three weeks? That's not a stomach bug, Elena." His eyes narrowed, something dangerous sparking in them. "What aren't you telling me?"

Everything. I wasn't telling him everything.

"I'm tired," I said, trying to move past him. "Can we talk about this in the morning?"

His hand caught my arm. Not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to stop me.

"Come back to bed." It wasn't a request.

I followed him back to the bedroom. Climbed under the covers. Felt his arm settle across my waist, heavy and possessive.

He fell back asleep within minutes.

I lay awake until dawn, feeling the weight of his arm like a chain, feeling the secret in my belly like a time bomb, and feeling the walls of my life closing in tighter and tighter until I couldn't breathe.

Something had to give.

Something had to break.

And I was terrified it would be me.

Two weeks later, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, studying my reflection. Nine weeks pregnant. My body was changing in subtle ways-breasts fuller, waist slightly thicker. I'd started wearing Alexander's old college sweatshirts around the apartment, baggy yoga pants, anything that hid the small changes.

He hadn't noticed yet. But he would.

"Elena?" His voice from the bedroom.

"Are you ready?"

Today was the therapy session. The one I'd finally convinced him to attend after weeks of careful negotiation. One hour with Dr. Patricia Reeves, recommended by Sarah, who'd sworn she was excellent with couples in crisis.

My last hope that someone would see. That someone would help.

"Coming," I called, pulling on a loose cardigan over my dress.

Dr. Reeves's office was in a modern building downtown, all glass and natural light. Calming colours. Tasteful art. A couch where Alexander and I sat side by side, careful not to touch.

"Thank you both for coming," Dr. Reeves said warmly. She was in her fifties, professional, and kind-eyed.

"Alexander, why don't you start? What brings you here today?"

He leaned forward, his expression open and vulnerable. I'd seen him use this face in business meetings, with investors, with anyone he needed to charm.

"I love my wife," he said simply. "But lately, she's been distant. Secretive. I'm worried about her."

Dr. Reeves made a note. "Distant how?"

"She won't talk to me. She goes places without telling me where. She's been sick constantly-throwing up, and exhausted all the time. I think she might be depressed, but she won't admit it."

My stomach dropped. He was setting a narrative. Depressed wife. Concerned husband.

"Elena?" Dr. Reeves turned to me. "Is that true? Are you feeling depressed?"

Where do I even start? How do I explain the cage I was living in to someone who couldn't see the bars?

"I'm not depressed. I'm exhausted because Alexander interrogates me until three or four in the morning. I'm secretive because he checks my phone constantly, tracks my location with GPS, and monitors everything I do-"

"I worry about her," Alexander interrupted, his voice pained. "My father cheated on my mother. For years. I watched what it did to her. I'm terrified of it happening to me."

His voice cracked. Actual tears welled in his eyes.

I stared at him, stunned. He was crying. Performing grief and vulnerability for an audience of one therapist who was watching him with growing sympathy.

"I admit, I've made mistakes," he continued. "I get anxious. I check in too much. But it comes from love. I love her so much it scares me."

"Elena," Dr. Reeves said gently, "it sounds like Alexander is working through some trauma from his childhood. Family patterns of infidelity can create real anxiety in relationships."

"He's not anxious," I said, hearing the desperation in my own voice. "He's controlling. There's a difference-"

"I think," Dr. Reeves interrupted carefully, "that we need to work on trust-building exercises. Alexander, you need to learn to manage your anxiety without surveillance. Elena, you need to be more transparent about your whereabouts to help ease his concerns."

I couldn't breathe. She was taking his side. She was making this my responsibility-to ease his concerns, to be more transparent, to manage his feelings.

"We'll start with small steps," Dr. Reeves continued. "Elena, perhaps you could text Alexander when you arrive places? And Alexander, maybe you could practise waiting an hour before checking in?"

It was useless. She didn't understand. Or worse-she did understand but believed him anyway.

He was good at this. Better than I'd realised. The concerned husband's performance was flawless.

No one would believe me.

Three days later, I met Sarah for coffee. Alexander had approved the meeting with magnanimous generosity:

"You need friends. I don't want to isolate you."

The irony was so thick I could choke on it.

Sarah took one look at me across the table and her face transformed. "Jesus, El. You've lost weight. Are you eating?"

"I'm eating." The lie tasted familiar.

"You look like a ghost. What's going on?"

I glanced around the coffee shop. Too many people. Too exposed. "Can we go somewhere private?"

We ended up at her apartment-a small studio in Capitol Hill with plants on every surface and art on the walls. My old life. The life I'd left behind.

The moment her door closed, I broke.

"I'm pregnant. And I'm leaving him. But I need help."

Sarah's face cycled through shock, concern, and determination. "Oh my God. When?"

"Nine weeks. And I need to leave before it shows, or he'll trap me."

"Okay." She sat down hard on her couch. "Okay. We need a plan."

We spent the next two hours plotting my escape like it was a heist. Because in a way, it was. I was stealing myself back.

"Documents first," Sarah said, making a list. "Birth certificate, passport, social security card. Do you know where they are?"

"His study. In the safe."

"You know the combination?"

"My birthday." He'd thought it was romantic.

"Bank account. You need money he can't touch."

"I have a secret email. I can open an account online-"

"No. He might monitor your IP address. We'll do it from the library. Public computer."

"And I need a lawyer."

Sarah nodded. "My friend Jessica. Family law. She's tough. I'll call her."

Over the next week, I became a spy in my own home.

While Alexander was at work, I photographed everything. The threatening emails he'd sent to my former boss. Screenshots of the GPS tracking app on my phone. Text messages where he'd berated me for being five minutes late.

I'd been recording his late-night interrogations on my phone for weeks, hiding it under my pillow with the voice memo app running. Hours of his voice accusing, questioning, never satisfied.

I emailed everything to Sarah from a library computer. Deleted my browser history. Left no trace.

In Alexander's study, while he showered one morning, I found his journal.

I shouldn't have read it. But I needed to know. I needed to understand if what I was feeling was real or if I was crazy like he said.

The entries made my blood run cold.

"Elena was at the grocery store for 47 minutes today. Should take 30. Who did she see?"

"Made her delete all male contacts from her phone. She cried. Good. Now she'll know I'm serious."

"I need to check her browser history more often. She's getting clever about clearing it."

"Found a receipt from a coffee shop she didn't mention. Confronted her. She said she forgot. But why would she forget unless she was hiding something?"

I photographed every page with shaking hands. This was evidence. Proof that I wasn't imagining things, wasn't being dramatic, wasn't crazy.

This was documentation of abuse.

"You'll stay here. With me." Rosa's voice was firm, absolute.

We sat in her kitchen again, this time with a plan taking shape between us.

"He'll come here first," I said.

"Then we get a restraining order. Immediately."

"Will that even work? He has money, lawyers-"

"Mija, you have evidence. You have recordings. You have his own words in his journal. That matters."

I called the lawyer-Jessica Chen, Sarah's friend-from Sarah's phone. Couldn't risk using my own.

"With what you're describing and the evidence you have," Jessica said, her voice crisp and competent, "we can get a temporary restraining order. But you need to file quickly. And Elena, her voice softened, -"men like him don't let go easily. You need to be prepared for him to fight back."

"I know," I whispered.

"Good. Because this is going to get worse before it gets better."

I was returning from what I'd told Alexander was grocery shopping-actually a meeting with Jessica to sign initial paperwork-when I saw his Range Rover in the parking garage.

He was home early.

Panic seized my chest. I had no groceries. I'd forgotten to buy groceries to support my lie.

I took the elevator up with my heart hammering, empty-handed, mind racing through explanations.

Alexander was in the living room, sitting on the couch. Waiting.

"Where were you?"

"Store." The lie came automatically.

"Show me the groceries."

My mind went blank. Completely blank. "I... the lines were too long. I left."

He stood slowly, his eyes never leaving my face. "You're lying."

"I'm not-"

"I called Whole Foods. Asked if they were busy today. They said it was a slow afternoon."

The world tilted. He'd called the store. He'd actually called to verify my alibi.

"Why are you lying to me, Elena?" He moved closer. "Where were you really?"

"I went for a drive. I needed air-"

"A drive where? Show me your GPS history."

"Alexander, please-"

"Show me. Now."

My hands were shaking so badly I could barely unlock my phone. I pulled up the GPS history-it would show I'd been in Belltown, nowhere near any grocery store.

He studied it, his jaw tightening. "This is a law office."

My mouth went dry.

"Why were you at a law office, Elena?"

"I wasn't-the GPS must be wrong-"

"Don't." His voice was quiet. Deadly.

"Don't insult my intelligence."

We stood there, facing each other across our beautiful living room with its floor-to-ceiling windows and its million-dollar view.

This was it. The moment everything shattered.

"I want a divorce," I said.