"Watching stupid series on Netflix isn't fun, and I'm glad you're finally going out tonight."
"Well, I hope I'm gonna have fun." I hadn't reached the door, I heard her call my name.
"Get laid, bean."
"Mom!" My cheeks burned because she knew I pretty much didn't have a life outside work. I was on a dry spell for years, but I got loyal boyfriends- my vibrators and my dildo, and, sooner, maybe an AI companion. I cringed at that thought.
"You're an adult. Your last boyfriend was two years ago. Don't depend too much on electronics. Penises feel way better for vaginas than things that vibrate."
I barked out laughing. "You're such a nurse."
"I know cocks and dicks, too. And pussies, Robyn."
I wiped the tears that formed at the corners of my eyes. "Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."
"No. Don't come home until you get laid, young woman."
"Bye, Mom. I love you. Piper is here."
"Say hi to Piper."
Piper smiled as I climbed into the passenger's seat. "Someone's excited tonight." She was wearing a two-piece white club dress, showing off her toned, flat abs.
"Can you believe it? Mom doesn't want me to come home until I get laid."
"She's right, babe." She drove towards the main road. "When was the last time you had a walk of shame? Or just made out with a random guy? You worked so hard you forgot to have fun."
"That's not true." I looked at her. "Are you seeing someone?"
"At this moment, I prefer casual sex."
"Easy for you to say." I looked at her. "You're an ideal girl. Redhead with green eyes."
"Irish blood, babe," she said proudly.
"Right. You're gorgeous, and I feel like I'm just an ordinary girl when you're around."
She stole a glance at my outfit. I put on a black mini dress with a deep plunge neckline. "Do you even look at yourself in the mirror? Do you know how hot you are? You're fucking hot. If I'm not straight, I will definitely finger-fuck you right now."
"Geez." I pressed my thighs together, making her laugh.
"I'm just telling you the truth, babe. You're fucking hot, even in your wide pants and oversized blouse. You have the most gorgeous, toned legs that could walk a mile. You have nice tits and a doll face, and look at your eyes."
"Brown?" I arched my eyebrows.
"I didn't ask for the color of your eyes. You have big, round eyes. That's your asset. Girl, even our boss, I often saw him checking you out."
I snorted. That sounded more like a pig than a human's snort. "Our cold, grumpy boss? That's impossible. I thought he hated me. He hates everyone."
"He can hate everyone, but he still has a dick. I bet a huge, thick, long dick."
"Oh, my God." I rolled my eyes. "No wonder Mom likes you. Did she call you to tell me to get laid, too?"
"No, but I'm telling you the truth. I think, Mister Kolby is into you."
"No. Definitely not. He's handsome-"
"No. He's drop-dead gorgeous with a ten-inch dick. If he wants to fuck me for a night, I will definitely let him. I don't care if he doesn't know me the next morning."
"You're crazy, Pip." I laughed so hard.
"That's why you love me." So true. If it wasn't for her, I might have gone crazy, finding a reason why Barbie left me, for losing a best friend who apparently didn't even have the guts to say goodbye. Instead, she only left with a note, like we had never had years of friendship.
It was crazy how it was easy for her to just leave the person who had became a part of her life for years.
I also understood turning a page and be with the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. If that were her case, she could have said so. I would be happy for them, and maybe one day, I would get my own chance as well. But she was just selfish and a self-centered bitch.
We arrived at one of the hottest nightclubs in the city. I expected it to be crowded on Saturday night, and I was right. We could barely move through throngs of people. The music became too loud. The smell became too much. The dance floor was packed.
"Oh, look who's here." That was Bruna Periera. I called her Bruna the bruja. She roamed her gaze at me from head to toe. She was beautiful, sexy, with brown eyes and long wavy hair who had fifty thousand followers on Instagram. "I thought you would only show up on Halloween."
I'd seen her ass more times than I saw mine. In all in fairness, she had a great natural ass.
"Hi, Bruna." I smiled. Sometimes, I felt jealous and insecure around her. She could pull off the ugliest dress and make it look like it was tailored for her. Sometimes, she was also a bitch, maybe most of the time, but because she was confident in her own skin.
"She hates Halloween, Bruna. It traumatized her when she was a kid by some bullies wearing Freddie Krueger and Jason Voorhees's masks."
"That's all?" She scoffed. "Or she just doesn't know how to have fun."
I wanted to roll my eyes and throw something on her pretty face, but tonight, I chose fun over my anger.
"I'll get us drinks, babe." Piper went to order from the bar, leaving me with Bruna.
"So, why was our boss pissed at you?"
I didn't know why I disliked her. Envy? Or her annoying behavior was just pissing me off.
Bruna finally changed the subject while sipping a Margarita and arching her perfect eyebrow at me, waiting for my answer.
The question was, when was the last time my boss wasn't pissed at everyone? Or in the world?