But I couldn't scream....I couldn't even blink.
I was trapped within myself, silent and still, like a doll whose strings had been cut.
Then came the quiet.
The ambulance faded and The ER lights vanished.
Time lost all meaning in the coma.
I floated in a thick, endless, black conscious but disembodied state.
Somewhere beyond the black curtain, I heard machines...a faint beeping, the shuffle of rubber soles and soft voices murmuring charts and vitals.
She's still here, I told myself.... I'm still here.
My body lay in that hospital bed, plugged into wires and tubes, but my mind and my soul was wide awake, waiting and listening.
The first visitor I had arrived in heels.
I would've known that strut anywhere...my sister Betsy.
"Poor Alira, you always did have a flair for drama." She said with her voice full of venom.
She was standing right beside me and I could feel her presence like a needle under my skin.
"Didn't think it would end like this, though...Did you?" She asked as She chuckled.
The sound was a cruel, satisfying sound.
"You should've minded your business...you were never meant to know....you always had everything and now it's my turn."
Everything? I wanted to scream.
I had a husband and sister who betrayed me, a mother who didn't care about me and a child who never had a chance to be born.
"He doesn't even come in to see you anymore...I suppose you figured that out when he pushed you." She said as her voice dropped to a whisper.
The memory suddenly slammed into me again like a second fall.
The cold push, my heel slipping and the air slicing through my lungs as I rolled down the stairs.
The memories came rushing into my head.
She left with one final kiss blown in mockery.
"Goodbye, sister."
The second visitor I had was unexpected because he was the last person I ever thought would care about me.
He stood beside me as I could feel him place his hand on mine.
"Alira?? I am so sorry about what has happened to you...this was never meant to happen and you were never meant to be here...I've watched quietly from the shadows how my side Betsy and your own mother treats you and whenever I tried talking to Betsy about it, we end up fighting...the truth is that I don't love Betsy....I actually love you." Liam said as my world stilled.
"He loves me??" I asked myself in disbelief.
"Yes..I wish I had the balls to tell you earlier but I just couldn't....Betsy had blackmailed me that if I should leave or divorce her, she would let everyone know I was impotent and was incapable of bearing children and that's why I am stuck in this loveless marriage with her...I wish I had told you how I felt about you earlier Alira...but I feel it's too late now." Liam said as he sobbed and walked out of the room.
I wanted to call his name and give him the comfort he needed...I so badly wanted to tell him it wasn't too late but who was I deceiving?? I had no idea when or if I was going to get out of this.
My Mother didn't come to visit and neither did my friends.
I had read somewhere that you only realize the true nature and intentions of people when something bad happens to you and it was quite unfortunate that it had to be me.
Even my so-called husband, the one responsible for my current condition, didn't come.
Hours passed or days as I couldn't tell...Then came him...the one who's visit I had been weirdly expecting.
His steps were heavier , hesitant and then firm.
"Alira." Alec called as I flinched inwardly.
The sound of his voice used to bring me comfort but now it curdled my blood.
He sat down, sighed, and said softly.
"You were never supposed to find out." He said.
No apology and no remorse.
"I didn't mean for it to go this far but you never made things easy, did you? Always questioning, always watching."
I wanted to claw my way out of the void and tear the lie from his mouth.
He leaned in closer as I felt the shift in the air.
"I don't regret it...you were always in the way...you held me back with your rules, your goodness, and thank the heavens the pregnancy part was out of the way."
He stood, brushing something off his sleeve.
"Now, I have freedom and your sister... well, she's easier." He said as the rage inside me boiled.
I was trembling inside my still body but it wasn't over.
He moved to the machine.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I heard the click, then a slow hiss as the rhythm changed.
My breath grew shallow and my chest tightened.
He's turning off my oxygen.
I was being murdered....Again.
My mind screamed and my soul thrashed.
I begged the universe, the stars, any god who would listen.
Please, don't let me die like this.
Not without a chance to make it right, not without revenge.
The darkness deepened as the machines slowed.
Please....Let me go back.
My lips didn't move, but my prayer echoed into the blackness:
Give me one more chance... Let me remember everything....Let me burn it all down.
Then silence.
The final silence.
But in the stillness, something stirred...Not death.
Something else.
A second chance.