It wasn't guilt, exactly. It was confusion - the kind that hums in your chest when you know something about your life has shifted, but you can't name what it is yet.
That morning, I woke up before dawn to make the 6 a.m. bus from Yaba to Lekki Phase 1. The air was damp and cold, my breath turning to mist as I walked past the rows of sleeping stalls. I'd started working part-time at a small PR agency - a friend of my cousin had mentioned they needed help writing content and handling clients. Anything to keep my mother's medication running and the landlord from knocking.
Still, I couldn't stop thinking about him. Ethan Cole.
I hadn't even known his name that night. I found out by accident two days later, when I saw his face on the cover of a business magazine at a newsstand in Ojuelegba:
ETHAN COLE: THE BILLIONAIRE WHO BUILT COLETECH FROM SCRATCH.
My heart had nearly stopped. I had stared at the photo - his calm, unreadable eyes, the same ones I had seen looking down at me that night.
I didn't buy the magazine, but I couldn't stop reading the headline over and over. A billionaire.
I remember thinking how unfair life could be - that someone could have so much, while others were just trying to breathe. But even as that thought formed, I remembered how gentle he had been, how he'd asked if I was sure before anything happened. The memory stung.
And now, three weeks later, I was late. Not for work - though I was that too - but for something else. Something my body was trying to tell me, and my mind refused to believe.
By the time I reached the office, I'd convinced myself it was just stress. My stomach was in knots anyway, so what difference did it make?
"Amara, you're late again," my boss, Mrs. Bamidele, said without looking up from her laptop.
"I'm sorry, ma," I murmured, dropping my bag beside the desk.
She sighed. "You're a bright girl. Don't waste it. One day you'll run your own firm, but you must learn discipline first."
I nodded, grateful for her faith, even if I didn't share it that morning.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of emails, phone calls, and coffee runs. Around 3 p.m., as I was leaving for a client meeting, my phone buzzed with a message from my friend Tega.
'You're free this weekend? There's a tech fair in Victoria Island. My cousin's company needs ushers and they're paying well.'
I almost said no - I was tired, and I hated crowds - but then she sent the payment detail: ₦25,000 for two days.
I didn't even hesitate.
Saturday arrived faster than I expected. The tech fair was held at the Eko Convention Centre, filled with companies displaying shiny gadgets, holograms, and screens that looked like magic. My job was simple - greet guests, hand out flyers, and look pleasant.
What I didn't expect was to see him again.
I spotted him from across the hall - tall, poised, surrounded by men in suits who followed him like shadows. Even in a crowd of powerful people, Ethan Cole stood out like gravity.
My heart began to race.
He was talking to someone at the ColeTech booth, nodding politely, his expression unreadable. I told myself he wouldn't notice me. Why would he? I was just one night in his long, perfect life.
But fate has a way of laughing at certainty.
When his eyes lifted and met mine across the hall, the air left my lungs.
It wasn't recognition at first - it was curiosity, the kind of look a person gives when something familiar tugs at their memory. Then I saw his pupils widen slightly. He knew.
For a split second, I thought about running. I even turned halfway toward the exit before I froze. What would that change?
He excused himself from the conversation and started walking toward me.
Each step felt like thunder.
"Amara?" he said when he reached me. His voice was lower than I remembered, steadier.
I swallowed. "Sir, good afternoon."
He tilted his head slightly, almost smiling. "So it's Amara."
I hadn't told him my name that night. Hearing it from him now felt strange - intimate, even though we were surrounded by strangers.
"You work here?" he asked.
"Uh, no. Just... helping with the fair."
He nodded, his gaze searching mine. "How have you been?"
I should have said fine. I should have smiled and walked away. But something in his tone - the quiet sincerity - made my throat tighten.
"I've been managing," I said softly.
He seemed to understand more than I said.
There was a pause before someone from his team called out, "Sir, the investors are waiting."
He looked toward them, then back at me. "Can we talk later? After the fair?"
I hesitated. Every instinct told me to refuse - to keep my distance, protect my pride, my heart. But the truth was, I wanted answers.
"Yes," I said finally.
That evening, we met outside the convention center, near the waterfront. The Lagos sky was painted in pink and orange, the breeze heavy with salt and city noise.
He leaned against his car, sleeves rolled up, no guards in sight. For the first time, he looked less like the man on the magazine cover and more like someone human - tired, even.
"Thank you for coming," he said.
I shrugged. "You're welcome."
"I wanted to apologize," he began, his tone careful. "That night... I should've-"
"You don't need to," I interrupted. "We both made a choice."
He studied me quietly. "Still. I think about it more than I should."
That startled me. I didn't know what to say.
We stood in silence for a moment, the sounds of waves filling the space between us.
"How's your mother?" he asked suddenly.
The question hit me like a blow. "She's... holding on," I said. "The medication helps. But it's expensive."
He nodded slowly. "If there's anything I can do-"
"There isn't," I said quickly. "Please don't."
He looked hurt, but I didn't care. I couldn't let him pity me.
After a long pause, he said quietly, "You're proud."
I met his eyes. "No. I just want to stand on my own."
A small smile touched his lips. "I understand that."
We talked for another half hour - about school, work, life - and for a while, I almost forgot the weight in my chest. He was surprisingly easy to talk to. Humble. He asked questions, really listened.
But as we said goodbye, I knew the peace was temporary.
Because I had already taken the test that morning.
And I already knew what those two faint lines meant.