Chapter 4 Shadows of loneliness

"I have to take my leave now, Nora," Elias smiled, his dimples pressing into his cheeks like they were carved just for moments like this. "The Alpha has me running errands all day. I just came to see if you finally woke up." His voice carried a playful tune, like he was trying to hide the weight of his duties behind light words.

"Alright," I chuckled, though it sounded thinner than I wanted. My lips pulled into a smile, genuine this time. "Thank you for coming. I really appreciate your kindness. Thank you once again."

He paused for a second, his eyes lingering on mine like he wanted to say more. Instead, his shadow stretched across the pale wall of my room as he turned toward the door. "I will see you around after you're discharged," he said, his voice echoing softly, almost too gentle for a warrior.

"You'll be discharged tomorrow, Nora. You are already healing, and I can see you're getting stronger," the nurse added with a bright smile. Her presence always reminded me of sunlight breaking into a dark room temporary, but warm enough to make you forget for a heartbeat how cold the world really was.

As soon as they left, silence poured in, thick and heavy.

"Oh, shit," I muttered under my breath, covering my face with the thin hospital blanket. Why can't I just stay here? I don't even like medication, but these three days of lying in this room have given me a kind of peace I've never tasted before. Peace that doesn't exist outside these walls.

Outside, Helen waits. Her cruelty. Her sharp tongue and sharper eyes. The rot of her presence, the constant reminder that I don't belong, that I am the stain no one wants to see.

Why can't I just disappear?

The door clicked shut and the sound echoed through my bones. My chest ached as I looked around. No Ellias, no nurse, no warmth. Just silence. The kind that presses into your ears until it feels like the world is holding its breath.

The room suddenly felt colder. A shiver ran down my spine and I wrapped the blanket tighter around me. Alone. Always alone.

Why does it feel different after Ellias leaves? Why does the emptiness sharpen, almost like something inside me reaches for him, only to grab air? First the Alpha, now Ellias both holding back pieces of something I'm not allowed to see. Something I'm too small to understand.

What is this feeling?

I stared up at the ceiling, my thoughts clawing through me. If only I could see the Moon Goddess, maybe she would have the answers. Maybe she would tell me why I was cursed to live this way wolf-less, unwanted, unloved.

If I had my wolf, she would be my friend. My companion. My other half. I've heard so many stories whispers in the corridors, drunken boasts at the feast fires, gossip from young wolves fresh after their first shift. They say your wolf speaks to you, becomes your comfort when the world turns cold.

They say it's like having a sister who never betrays you, a brother who never abandons you. They say your wolf teaches you strength, whispers courage when you think you're too weak to rise.

But me? Nothing. Silence.

I've never shifted. Never heard that voice in my head. Never felt that bond everyone else seems to carry so easily.

Every time I see a packmate talking to themselves in low murmurs, their eyes glazed in that tell-tale way, I know it's their wolf. I see the tiny smiles tug at their lips, the secret conversations I'll never be part of. And jealousy burns me alive from the inside out.

Why me? Why was I chosen to be less?

Maybe the Moon Goddess is punishing me. Maybe she hates me the way the pack does. Maybe that's why she never gifted me with my wolf.

I turned on my side, pressing my palm against my chest as if to calm the storm inside. The truth waiting for me tomorrow made my stomach churn.

Even with my health unsteady, I still have to leave. Still have to face Helen's cruelty again. Still have to pretend I'm strong when all I want is to break into a thousand pieces.

I sighed, long and heavy, trying to empty the pain out of me. The room blurred as my eyelids grew heavy.

And then, without warning, I drifted.

At first, I thought it was sleep. But it wasn't.

The world around me changed, slow and strange, until the white walls melted into silver shadows. The ceiling dissolved into a night sky, painted with a thousand stars that pulsed brighter than I'd ever seen. The air carried a hum, soft but unshakable, like it wanted to speak but couldn't yet find the words.

My breath caught.

This wasn't the hospital.

I looked down at myself, but my body shimmered like smoke, fading and solid all at once. A dream but no dream I'd ever known.

And then I saw it.

The moon. Full, luminous, so close it felt like I could reach up and touch it. My chest ached at the sight, my heart beating against my ribs like it was trying to answer some call only it could hear.

A voice not spoken, but felt brushed through me like the wind.

"Nora..."

I froze. My hands trembled. My heart skipped so hard it hurt.

Who was that?

The sound was soft, distant, but familiar in a way that tore me open. Like a whisper I'd been waiting my whole life to hear.

I spun around, searching the silver shadows. Nothing. Only the stretch of stars, the endless pull of the moon above.

But the voice came again, clearer this time.

"Nora..."

The air grew colder. My skin prickled. My chest tightened as if invisible hands were pressing down, forcing me to listen.

Was it?

Could it be?

My wolf?

Tears stung my eyes before I could stop them. My throat closed around a sob I didn't dare release. For the first time, I felt the brush of something inside me. Something that wasn't just my loneliness screaming back at me.

But then the silver sky began to crack. A shadow cut across the moon. Darkness swallowed the stars one by one, like teeth biting through light.

And just as the voice was about to speak again, the entire world shattered into blackness.

I gasped awake, my chest heaving, my blanket damp with sweat. My heart thundered in my ears so loud I thought it would burst.

The hospital room was back. White walls. Silent air. Empty bed beside mine.

But I wasn't the same.

Because for the first time in my life, I wasn't sure if I was truly alone.

And somewhere deep inside, I swore I heard a faint, broken whisper a voice cut off too soon.

Tomorrow, Nora.

I swallowed hard, pressing my fist to my chest. Tomorrow. Something waits for me tomorrow.

But is it my wolf? Or something far more dangerous?