RAHBEEM
Well, you just don't make good decisions. That's why I'm sitting here and you ain't got no Quidditch!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
(Smiles patiently)
That's still not real.
RAHBEEM
Look, I can talk to the little brotha, maybe try to find out where these new philosophies of his came from. But um...Hey! What happened to Teen Jesus?
Diaz visibly transitions from concern to stress.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Yes...Richard...
RAHBEEM
Did you really tell Jesus to F.U.?
PROFESSOR DIAZ
He is not "Jesus!" He is a stupid boy.
RAHBEEM
Stop calling the children stupid.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Dumb? Ignoramus?
RAHBEEM
No!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
He's just...like, a golden retriever that has learned how to talk but forgotten how to listen.
RAHBEEM
Maybe so. But if you are a demon and can't deal with him, what am I supposed to do?
Professor Diaz goes into his desk and fishes out some paperwork.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Professor Roth, I am a 300-year-old vampire. I can grade papers. I can say yes or no to things. I can handle everything, but knowing what to do with a student like Richard Beltran. That is a human's specialty.
RAHBEEM
What's wrong with him?
PROFESSOR DIAZ
I told you, he's an IDIOT.
Rahbeem makes a disgusted face and shakes his head as the African accent returns.
RAHBEEM
You are a bad man to speak of the children this way!
PROFESSOR DIAZ
You'll see! He's a cute blonde puppy that causes chaos wherever he goes.
Professor Diaz looks at his watch.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Any hoo, I have to go find "Da young Messiah" and make sure he's not ditching class to kill what's left of his brain cells on drugs.
RAHBEEM
It can't be that bad.
Diaz scrunches his face up at Rahbeem as he rises and starts heading for the door.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
You can see for yourself if you'd like. And I can give you a quick tour of the school as we search for him.
Rahbeem gets up, shaking his head, chuckling.
RAHBEEM
Teen Jesus...man! That kid used to crack me up. And I tell you, whenever I'm about to do something I know is wrong, his voice is like a guiding light in my soul saying "Yo!-
He takes a thugged-out buffalo stance.
RAHBEEM
I'm too fresh for sin!
Diaz glares at him.
PROFESSOR DIAZ
Stop that!
Rahbeem "The Rebel" maintains the buffalo stance a moment longer, fully loving the feel of power he gets from it. Then he snaps out of it.
RAHBEEM
Alright, let's go.
He straightens up and heads out of the office door.
Diaz watches him, giving him a mischievous smile. This mortal will be fun.
He looks over his office one more time, sighs, and closes the door behind them.
INT. THE MAGIC SCHOOLS BOYS' BATHROOM – DAY
Richard "Vegas" Beltran, now bigger and even more confused looking at 16 years old, is hanging out with his fellow magic school delinquents.
With him is JINJY TUSKIONO, a tall Asian boy with long dreadlocks. SCOOBY and ASTRO PALADINO, the werewolves. And KEVIN MARBLES, a short, Beetlejuice-style boy who's sitting inside the bathroom sink.
Buck Kissinger from the demon hunter's school is also hanging with them. He's high as hell, smoking a joint, ever so often singing one of those angelic chants of his.
JINJY
I told you, Vegas, you just need to get between 0.23 and 0.55 spirit points to get Toad out of that God forsaken mirror!
VEGAS
(Whines)
I can't do it! It's too hard!
Astro and Scooby are currently in human form.
SCOOBY
(To Jinjy)
Yo! Pass it, bro!
Jinjy pulls out a bunch of little baggies with glowing pills and tosses one bag to Scooby.
JINJY
I'm not doing it for you, Vegas! You're going to get Toad out of that mirror yourself! He's your familiar!
In response, Vegas starts quivering, then screams, cries out, and collapses to the floor, shaking violently.
KEVIN
Told you if you didn't quit stressing him, he would fake a seizure.
Jinji kicks Vegas hard while he's on the ground.
VEGAS
OW!
ASTRO
How the hell did you get trapped in the mirror anyway, Toad?
The camera pans around, so now we're facing the large bathroom mirror. None of the boy's images are reflected; the only "person" we see in the reflective glass is TOAD DWEEZIL, a green-haired boy/demon with a joint in his mouth. He's absently playing a Nintendo Switch while leaning lazily on the glass.
TOAD
He threw me in here to chase out some kind of clown demon.
VEGAS
(Climbing up off the floor)
That thing keeps showing up in my bedroom at night! It haunts my nightmares!
TOAD
He's your agent. He said you agreed to the 65% commission.
ASTRO
65%? Is that standard nowadays?
KEVIN
(Shivers)
The agent gets 65% of your money?! I'm not even in showbiz, and I'm gonna have nightmares.
The bathroom door begins to squeak and open slowly. The boys inside panic, thinking it's a teacher. Jinjy flings the baggies of drugs into the air, and they disappear in a magical poof.
CHARLES CHEVALIER enters.
VEGAS
Charles!
He runs up excitedly to the new teen.
VEGAS
Did you get it? Did you get it?
CHARLES
Stupid! Of course, I got it! I'm the man! I can get anything!
He fishes inside his book bag and pulls out an old black leather book.
CHARLES
Look at this! And I got it fast, too, right?
He hands Vegas the giant spell book.
JINJY
What is that?
VEGAS
(Twist his lips at him)
My business, Tuskiono. That's what it is!
The Palidino brothers start sniffing the book like dogs.
SCOOBY
This book smells...
He and Astro look at each other.
SCOOBY
Positively E-VIL!
Vegas rolls his eyes and laughs.
VEGAS
Astro, Scooby, I know you guys identify as werewolves and all. But do you hear yourselves?
VEGAS
(Makes a face, mocking them)
The book smells evil, Vegas! Oooh!! You guys are scared of books? That explains your grades last semester.
JINJY
This evil-looking spell book might explain how your grades haven't gotten you kicked out of here yet.
Vegas glares at him and makes another face, mocking Jinjy.
Buck sings a heavenly chant until he starts coughing from inhaling the smoke.