Chapter 1 blank staring

Isabel Morgan

"Ring, ring, ring."

"Shut up!" With my eyes still shut, I mumbled.

"Ring, ring, ring."

I smacked the alarm once again to turn it off, but it continued to sound. I put a pillow over my ears to block out the noise. However, it continued to ring.

I glared at the alarm clock while sitting upright on the bed.

Delaney entered my room as the door abruptly opened. She gave me a startled expression, obviously surprised that I was awake and not expecting her to yell at me.

"Good Morning." I continued to welcome in an irate manner.

Shaking her head, she just remarked, "Get ready, we're late."

With a nod, I rose from the bed and headed for the bathroom. For college, I dressed up. I hurried downstairs for breakfast after giving myself one last look in the mirror.

"I'm late." Picking up a sandwich, I said.

I was given another one by Margot, who said, "Take another one as well."

After accepting it, I shoved half of the sandwich into my mouth. As I was walking to the 8 am session, I called my mother.

"Morning, Mum," I said Hello.

"Good Morning, are you ready?"

"I'm late."

"It's 8 am already."

"I know."

"Since you are already late, why not video call me?"

"No." She changed the call to a video call before I could end it. I grabbed it. "Hey, Mum."

"There you are."

"You've seen me now, can I go?" She yelled just as I was ready to end the call.

"Wait!"

I motioned for Margot, Abby, and Delaney to proceed while remaining motionless in my spot. "Yep."

"I have been noticing a thing for a few days now."

"What?" Not understanding what she meant by saying, I questioned. I walked slowly at first.

"You are dressing up too much these days... for college."

"No, I am not."

"You are."

"I am not."

"You are."

"Are we really fighting over this?" She is correct, so this time I gave up. For college, I'm dressed up too much. I overthink things before getting ready for college. These days, I am more aware of who I am.

"Is it for him?" I was surprised by that.

"Mumma!"

She grinned. "It is him."

I bit my lip and said nothing.

She merely gave him a headshake. "If he really would've liked you, he'll like you the way you are naturally... You don't have to change yourself for him."

"Mumma, that's simply a saying. Everyone desires a beautiful woman.

It's accurate. Really, it's just a saying: "Be yourself, and he'll love you for who you are." When someone dresses up and looks good, everyone is drawn to them.

"Then that's not love."

"Mumma, I don't love him. It is really a matter of liking. I'll miss the class if I don't go now." "Nearly running," I said.

However, he also doesn't like my dressing up. He's simply so challenging. He doesn't respond appropriately to my texts, and I'm afraid to say "hello" in person for fear that he won't respond or that things would get awkward. My conversations with him have been awkward. Incredibly embarrassing. 'See, I found you' is what the monkey reel I sent him says.

It's embarrassing, I realize. I am aware.

That's why I haven't gotten married yet.

The guys who show interest in me are simply my friends, and I desire the one who doesn't care about me.

Horribly unhappy.

I was panting severely from all the running when I finally made it into the classroom. The entire class turned away from the teacher to stare at me.

What I detest the most is this. And as if I were Miss World, they simply won't take their eyes off me. I don't desire a lot of attention.

I like him because of this. He simply glances at the newcomer out of the corner of his eye before turning back to face the instructor.

"May I come in?" I questioned the instructor.

"Please take your seat," he nodded.

I went inside.

He sat as usual, looking directly at the teacher's lesson.

When I eventually found my companions, I was searching the area for them. As I approached them, the teacher said, "Ms. Morgan, please take the fourth bench."

No. Sh*t.

I was standing next to the fourth bench when I glanced over my shoulder.

I've passed away.

I've passed away.

He sat on the fourth bench. In addition to usually taking the fourth bench, he was the first person to arrive in class.

I must now sit next to him.

Once, after glancing at me, he stepped aside to give me a seat. I glanced in the direction of my insane buddies, the three of them seated. As they observed my situation, they were laughing.

'You're dead,' I told them, and sat down next to him.

I sat there fiddling with my fingers, feeling anxious. My heart was pounding so hard that I thought it might burst at any second.

He.

Briggs, Sebastian.

My crush.

He was just a regular man when I first met him at the start of my fourth semester, but as time went on, my feelings for him grew. Since he is so uninterested in me, I have made numerous attempts to stop this emotion, yet it persists.

I can't concentrate on my work. I can't perform anything correctly. I can't get him out of my head. I can't help it, even if I detest it.

He's the man I've always desired. I find his mannerisms attractive. He's quiet.

I can't even begin to describe the thrill I get when he responds to my text.

I'd like to be friends with him, but I can't. He's not the type of guy who would remember you, text you first, or value having you in his life otherwise. I felt like I was annoying him every time I texted him. As a result, I stopped contacting him, yet he never leaves my thoughts. Little things remind me of him.

And I am aware that he despises me.

Despite repeatedly contacting me, I am positive he hasn't even saved my number on his phone.

Everyone claims he doesn't hate me, but I know he does, even though Abby claims he doesn't.

Why am I feeling so cold all of a sudden?

Well, well... Take a look at this person.

Butterflies, meet your stomach.

I prayed for these strange sensations to end as I closed my eyes. This is not how I want to feel.

My heart is pounding wildly. My hands feel freezing despite being hot from all this stress.

I grabbed my phone because I couldn't take it any longer. Additionally, our group had a ton of texts.

Not surprisingly.

Abby: There's love in the air.

Margot: La la la

Del: La la la

She even failed to remember us.

Margot: What a pain!

Abby: Are you truly ignoring us at this point?

Margot: I'm in tears.

Me: Quit talking! Queens of Drama!

Del: Why are you here?

Speak with him!

Margot: Girl, speak up!

Abby: Indeed! Indeed! Speak with him!

Me: You people don't realize how anxious I am!

I'll urinate.

Abby:

Del: Are you getting soaked, sweetie?

Me: Quit talking!

Margot: Are you serious?

Abby: Whoa! Pull him and kiss him, I'm telling you!

I immediately switched off my phone.

Oh my God!

He's right next to me.

On my phone, a notification appeared.

Abby: Look out for some cheeks!

I noticed that when I looked up from the front phone, Brody was entering.

Fuck!

An issue is on the way!

Dee: Where will he sit?

I flipped my phone around.

That's precisely what I asked. He's coming here, but why?

Brody approached and stood next to me. After a moment of blank staring, he motioned for me to approach. Sebastian had already gone inside when I turned to face him. Brody sat next to me as I moved in his direction.

I swallowed hard.

What did I do incorrectly? Why am I unable to move?

Brody's eyes were inquiring as he peered at me. I smiled at him and said, "Hey."

"Hello. What brought you here? Being mindful that Sebastian might not hear us, he murmured.

"The teacher." I returned the whisper.

Brody asked, "Where's Ashton?" as Sebastian turned to face us, his brows furrowed.

Sebastian is unaware that we were conversing because that query was arbitrary.

I have no idea who these people are.

They are just strange; they don't communicate in person.

And it's really awkward when I speak to both of them.

I am aware that I have a thing for Sebastian. His best friend, Brody, is also aware of my obsession with Sebastian.

Do you want to hear how I got to know Brody? You probably do.

Following a few minutes of my accepting his Instagram invitation, he began contacting me. I don't communicate with strangers on Instagram; therefore, I wouldn't have responded to his text. However, I contacted him back because he is Sebastian's friend, and when he asked me out, I said, "I like someone else... sorry."

He asked me who the guy was after that, but I kept it a secret. One day, he asked me, "Is it my friend Sebastian?"

'Why do you think so?' I asked.

"Just guessing, you texted him once, and he is good looking too," was his response.

He is useless, even though I didn't lie to him. I'm certain he won't share anything with Sebastian. Why? Well, let's avoid discussing it.

In response to Brody's query, Sebastian simply shrugged and turned back to face the teacher.

"Did you talk to him?" In a whisper, Brody asked me again.

I gave a headshake.

"Okay."

While the individual for whom this was happening sat unaffected, I was sitting with my hands growing extremely cold, my cheeks burning, and my heart feeling like it might burst out of my chest. He was very typical.

Does he not experience butterflies? For myself?

However.

What do you know? I firmly believe that God despises me. Why? Oh! I'm seated between Brody and Sebastian. One of them has a crush on me, and the other person has a crush on me. Suddenly, someone's phone rings, and I glance around to see whose it is.

The music is pleasant.

Let me guess.

'Bejeweled' by Taylor Swift, isn't it?

Oh! Dude, I also have the same ringtone.

Why is the ringtone occupying my attention? Because, except for Sebastian Briggs, everything is fine at the moment.

Hold on. It sounds like my ringtone, doesn't it?

Oh no! I neglected to turn off my phone.

Sebastian seemed to be trying to figure out why I wasn't shutting off the phone since I could feel his eyes on me.

"Please silence whoever's phone it is."

I quickly reached for my phone, turned it off, and whispered a quiet "sorry" that I doubt anyone could hear.

Oh my God! Come with me! Take me to the sky, please!

This is really embarrassing.

"Are you always this clumsy, or is it him sitting beside you affecting you?" Brody was looking in front when his whispering voice came.

I answered, "Are you always this jealous, or is it me sitting next to him affecting you?" without looking at him.

He turned his head to face me, and I turned mine back, staring at him blankly. However, I turned around and looked in the front.

The butterflies in my tummy are definitely not something I'm enjoying.

When the teacher began to take attendance, I looked down at my phone and saw nothing but a random story; I wasn't even reading it, so I didn't even scroll down.

"3372." Sebastian raised his hand in response to the teacher's summons, saying, "Present, Sir."

It hit me at that moment.

Fuck! My turn! It's gone.

The teacher continued after "3372," and I looked up to him.

"It's gone."

No. This time, it wasn't Brody.

That's when my heart stopped.

Sebastian was still sitting upright and gazing straight ahead when I glanced over his shoulder. However, it was him.

I was too surprised. He is aware of my role. In other words, he watches me. I assumed he didn't give a damn about anyone. I believed that he was unaware of my name.

"I'll repeat the roll numbers of those who are absent." After saying that, the instructor started calling out the absentees' roll numbers. "1765," I held up my hand. "Present."

He gave me a 'I have given up on you' look and simply shook his head.

I got up, grabbed my suitcase, and motioned to Brody to allow me room so I could exit. He got up from his chair, and I quickly went to sit on the bench where my buddies were. As I gasped for air, they gazed at me with excitement.

"How did you feel?" asked Margot.

Abby asked: "Did you get buttery-buttery-flies?"

"Are you okay, baby?" asked Dee.

"I am dead, baby," I answered, glaring at him from the front.