I couldn't help but feel some happiness. At least one person could see that it hurts. I stood in the hallways trying to pull myself together.
My back hurts as hell. Each breath reminded me of what would happen if I strayed from the wrong path.
I exhaled as I walked towards the courtyard where the guests were. Their laughter pricked my ears.
All I needed to do, was to wear a fake smile, pretending like I cared. Could still perceive his scent on my wrist. It was faint, but it was there.
I walked into the courtyard, greeting the elders and some children running around.
Finally, the event came to an end. Father cadwell came out to address the crowd and pray for them. It was right that I wait till everyone had gone before I would be dismissed.
The sisters walked around, taking down all the decorations that were set for the event.
When they were done, I bid them goodnight and headed back to the rectory. I peeled my shirt off to apply ointment on the bruises.
I tried to keep myself busy to avoid thinking about him but I couldn't help but wonder, How can someone so rebellious, unholy, and reckless.
My thoughts quickly shifted to our encounter this evening.
The way he's blue eyes stared deeply into mine, tracing all the features of my face.
The hairs that fell over his face, made him look more beautiful than a Greek god.
The shock wave that ran through my body when he bit my earlobes. I open my pants, taking my semi-hard cock in my hands.
He's words are etched in my mind as I like my mind to run free. I grabbed the oil beside me, just so I could be done quickly.
I closed my eyes, thinking about his fresh breath, his hearty laugh, the way my body tensed at his touch.
My breath became shaky. I place two fingers between my mouth to muffle the moan that threatened to come out. "Fuck!" I whispered as I got closer.
Sparks of pleasure erupted along my skin as I finished, spilling everything on my hands and pants. I lay back, catch my breath.
I needed to clean everywhere before anyone came into my room. I got up took off my pants and bedsheets to wash.
Quickly I washed everything and changed into other clothes.
I said my prayers and went to bed hoping for another nightmare.
It was morning already, and I didn't realize it. This was the first time I'd slept without nightmares.
I opened my eyes slowly, the light filtering through the curtains making me squint my eyes. I woke up with a smile plastered on my face, not a struggle smile but an actual genuine smile.
I headed to the bathroom to do my business. As soon as I was done, I headed downstairs for breakfast and to greet the sisters.
"Good morning sister Marianne," I said, smiling. She tilted her head sideways before answering. "Good morning?" she said sounding unsure. "What?" I asked amused.
"There's this odd glow from you this morning. Don't get me wrong, you're always glowing, but this is double the glow" she replied.
"Hmm, I didn't notice." The dining table was filled with a variety of fresh food, which was odd.
This only happens when Father cadwell is away. "Isn't Father coming down?" I asked curiously.
"No dear, he's on a business trip."
She replied, going back to what she was doing. I drifted my attention back to my plate.
I stuffed my face with food because this happens rarely. Immediately I was done, I went back up.
I could be lazy today, since the church was empty. I lay on my bed, exhaling from the excess food I had.
I found myself praying and hoping for Sunday to come quickly.
I wanted to see those blue eyes again. Quickly, I slid under my blanket as darkness took over.
Sunday morning. In the blink of an eye, it was Sunday again. I got up early to prepare for morning mass.
The service had begun, the choirs were singing the hymns, but I stood beside Father cadwell hoping and praying he'll come.
The door swung open, and I knew in an instant it was him. Only one reckless and unbothered person would pull that off. Arson grey.
He strode in with his half-tied tie, his sleeves rolled up. He held eye contact with me as he walked in.
For some odd reason, I couldn't dart my eyes away. Shortly after he sat down, the hymn ended.
I walked round, alongside the sisters, gathering the hymn books.
The moment I got closer to where he sat, I tripped, sending the hymn books flying. He walked towards me and bent down to my level, helping me pick up the hymns.
Our fingers brushed, sending adrenaline rushing through my veins. His touch was electric and he knew the effect he had on me.
"Hey pretty boy" he smirked.
"Hi," my voice came out as a whisper.
"You're red as a tomato."
He said softly. I raised my head, holding eye contact.
I thought about throwing the hymns and pulling him for a kiss.
I snapped out of my thoughts fast, I couldn't afford to be reckless. What happened the other night must not repeat itself.
"I want to kiss you." He said, in a firm yet flirtatious tone.
My heart was pounding so fast, I picked the hymns and walked out. I could feel the whole church staring at me.
I am so dead.