Chapter 4 The past came knocking

Loretta slung her bag over her shoulder, keys already in hand.

She had plans. She was going out alone. Peacefully.

Until she stepped outside and found Martin already in the passenger seat of her car, legs sprawled like he owned the damn thing.

She blinked. "What...what are you doing?"

He adjusted the air vent like this was normal. "Car won't start. I need a ride."

"To where?"

"Supermarket. Out of coffee. And milk. And apparently self-awareness."

She threw her head back. "No. Get out."

Martin gave her a look. "It's on your way."

"You don't know where I'm going."

"I can guess. Away from me."

"Exactly."

He leaned back, sunglasses sliding onto his face with a smirk. "Well, I'm coming. So let's not make this weird."

"It's already weird."

"Then at least let it be productive."

Loretta rounded the car, muttering every curse word she'd ever learned. She got in, slammed the door, and started the engine with more force than necessary.

"This is kidnapping," she said as she reversed.

"No. This is resourcefulness."

"I'm dropping you off at the nearest bus stop."

Martin grinned. "Not before aisle three."

They drove in silence tensed with unspoken words. Loretta turned the radio on. He turned it off.

She turned it back on. Louder.

He adjusted the volume with maddening calm. "Trying to drown me out?"

"Yes. With jazz."

Martin chuckled. "Kinda sexy."

She groaned. "God, you're exhausting."

He glanced at her, then out the window. "You used to laugh with me."

"You wish."

But her grip on the wheel was tighter than it needed to be.

They pulled into the supermarket parking lot. Loretta parked and didn't move.

"Well?" she said. "Get out."

Martin didn't budge.

"What now?"

"I didn't say I was going in alone."

"Oh my God."

"You could help me pick groceries. You like being judgy about my taste."

"I'd rather lick the floor."

He gave her a look that said, Don't test me, then unbuckled his seatbelt and got out. She sat, fuming, until he opened her door like a chauffeur.

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

"Chivalry. Get out. Let's shop."

"I am not going grocery shopping with you."

"Too late," he said, already walking away. "You left the keys in the ignition, Sunshine. Which means you're either following me or you're sleeping in the car."

She screamed internally. Then cursed him to the moon and back.

***

The ride back began in the same awkward silence.

Martin hummed low under his breath, one arm draped lazily out the open window.

Loretta kept her eyes glued to the road. Jaw clenched. Fingers tapping the wheel like a ticking bomb. She hadn't said a word since they pulled away.

Then the rain came.

A sudden sheet of water slammed against the windshield.

The wipers lurched into motion, groaning in protest, barely keeping pace with the torrent.

Loretta's spine straightened.

Martin glanced at her. "You good?"

She nodded too fast. "Yeah," she said, voice tight. "Just..." Her throat caught. "Nothing."

But it wasn't nothing.

The world outside blurred into gray streaks. Headlights sliced through the haze, stabbing her eyes. Every hiss of the tires on wet asphalt was a scream.

Breathe. It's just rain.

But her chest was caving in. Her heartbeat pounded, erratic and loud in her ears. Her grip on the wheel tightened.

Why now? Not now. Not with him in the car.

Thunder cracked.

And suddenly, she wasn't driving anymore.

She was back in her room. Rain hammering the windows. Her uncle's voice telling her her mother was gone.

Then she was in his room. His hands bruising her arms. Rage in his eyes.

"You're a fucking failure. That's why your mother chose someone else over you. That adopted brother of yours, he's living your life now."

No.

No, don't go there.

She jerked her head, tried to shake it off, but it clung to her.

Her breath came in short, panicked bursts.

"Loretta?" Martin said, frowning now. "You're crushing the wheel."

She didn't respond.

Her mouth opened, but no words came.

"Loretta... hey, slow down."

She blinked hard.

"I hate this," she gasped. "I hate the fucking rain. I hate it..." Her voice cracked. "I can't..."

Martin leaned in, urgent. "Park the car. Loretta, pull over. Let me drive."

A pair of headlights flared. A car swerved into their lane too fast.

Loretta screamed and yanked the wheel.

The tires shrieked.

"Loretta!"

Martin lunged. His hand clamped over hers, pried it off the wheel. His foot slammed down over hers, jamming the brake.

The car veered hard right, thudding off the road into soft mud. A jolt. The engine sputtered and died.

Stillness fell except for the relentless drumming of rain.

Loretta sat frozen. Eyes wide. Gasping like she'd just sprinted a mile. Her hands shook violently in her lap.

Martin turned off the ignition. His breath still shallow.

"Loretta," he said softly. "Hey. Look at me."

She didn't.

Her eyes stared ahead, unseeing.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry..."

Martin tensed. Alarm rising behind his calm.

"Loretta...what are you sorry for?"

Her face collapsed. She covered it with both hands, trembling.

"I didn't mean...," she sobbed. "I deserve it. I deserve it. Mom, I'm sorry..."

Martin froze.

Then gently, he brushed wet strands from her forehead. His hand hovered near her shoulder.

"You're safe, Lor," he said. His voice was quiet, steady. "I'm here."

She shook her head, small and frantic. "I can't... breathe."

"Yes, you can," he said. "Just breathe with me, Sunshine. In... and out. Match me."

Her breathing hitched. She tried, fought, to follow, like dragging air through a straw. Her hands clutched her thighs, white-knuckled.

Slowly, painfully, she synced with him. One breath. Then another. Her shoulders slumped. Her pulse still fast, but slowing.

Martin reached over and unbuckled both their belts. Then, without a word, he pulled her into his arms.

The rain softened.

They stayed like that.

Her cheek against his shoulder. His hand resting on the back of her head. The past pressed in, but didn't break through.

Loretta's hands stilled.

But her eyes stayed open-haunted, hollow.

Martin didn't speak. Just held her, listening to the rain. Feeling her slowly unwind, breath by shaky breath.

God, she missed her mother. Maybe if she were still here, she wouldn't have let him ruin her. Maybe she would've pulled her closer and whispered it wasn't her fault.

But she wasn't here.

Loretta knew that.

She was too late.

All because of that night that wrecked her. Wrecked them both.

The night she kept trying to forget.

But it never left.

Thunder rolled again.

Neither of them moved.

Loretta only wished that Martin wouldn't ask her questions, she would never answer.

Because her well hidden secret just let in a little air.