Chapter 4 Shopping Spree

Maybe because she's rich is why I want to stay with her. Maybe because she's gentle and sweet to me, that's why I want to be her daughter. Though I know to myself that I'm no special case, as she mentioned to me, she's like this to all "runaway kids". Maybe I know to myself that she can and will buy whatever I want without me having a good grade, completing my homework, doing all my chores, or being a good daughter to her. But right now, I can be whatever I want with her. I can be whoever I want to be with her.

Maybe I can make her laugh; that's why she made me stay, or maybe she's longing for the love that she deserves. Honestly, I feel guilty because I want to stay here while my family has no idea where I am at these hours. I feel guilty that I am happy without being able to spend many days with my family. Nonetheless, I'm happy that I am away from home, away from their presence.

Sarah prepares my new room, the room I will be sleeping in as long as I want to. It is bigger than my shared room with my siblings. The room is designed for a boy or a girl. Its wall is painted blueish with a shade of pink. With glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling, there's a big soft bed, a small AC, a toy box with multiple toys for boys and girls, and a small drawer in the corner. It makes me feel this was made for me, and it's been waiting for me for so long.

"Why do you have this room?" I ask, looking at Sarah.

"Because I have this bad habit of bringing home kids from the street." She says again.

"Right." I whisper. "God must love you so much for being this kind."

She looks at me once again and smiles. She kisses the top of my head before getting up and walking to the door without looking at me. She closes the door, and I am left alone. I can't believe the happiness I can feel to finally have my own room that I've been dreaming of my entire life. I have a new loving mother and a new life of my own. I can be the person I want to be, not the one my parents designed to be the person they want me to be. I can eat whatever I want. I can buy the things I want to have; I don't need to have good grades to please everybody. I am rich! I am dancing in my new room when Sarah storms inside again. She looks at me while laughing, adoring my quirkiness.

"Get dressed; we're going to buy things you'll be needing." She says.

I look at her, wide-eyed. "But I am fine with these things!"

"You need more."

I run to her and hug her. "I can't thank you enough."

I rummage for the clothes in the cabinet and wear a t-shirt with a big heart sequin in the center and denim shorts. I look at the shoe rack and wear the red doll shoes that match the big heart on the t-shirt.

Sarah drives her big car, with me singing the songs in my head. It is my first time being in a car. My parents don't have a car, just a motorbike. And I have never been to a mall; church every Sunday was just our only outing every weekend. It was my favorite place in the world because I love listening to the homily of the priests, and I love listening to and singing the songs. I met my Kuya Adonis at that church, who later taught me how to play guitar.

Sarah parks the car in the parking lot near the main entrance, and I can't wait to see what's inside the mall. We line up at the entrance, where the guard checks the bags of the people before entering. I can't believe how huge the place is. It looks small from the outside, but it is huge inside-it's so deceiving. The people look busy in their own little businesses. I spin in the middle, beaming with the happiness I can feel inside; I just explode.

"This is so amazing!" I scream.

The people don't seem to care about everyone; they unbelievably didn't notice my scream. There is music everywhere and people in every part, corner, and boutique of the mall. People only care about the things they are buying and selling. Sarah took a photo of me in the middle of spinning around the mall. We enter the small boutique store with children's mannequins standing without faces. She makes me wear a lot of dresses that all look expensive, and then she buys five dresses for me.

"Maybe this is enough; they all look expensive." I say to her.

"Don't worry about the money; I want to make you happy." She says.

We enter another store, and this time she asks me to choose underwear, shorts, t-shirts, and shoes. I don't know if I like her buying too many clothes, so I pretend to choose the bundle of clothes that are on sale. She made me try the clothes that she liked for me, and bought three pairs of underwear.

After wandering around for three hours, I feel exhausted. The place is just so big for me. Sarah doesn't ask me what I want, but just buys things I didn't ask for. My own mother never did this to me. I have to have an A+ to have the thing I asked for, and I will only get one thing. Sarah looks at me and smiles. I followed Sarah to a restaurant.

"I know you're hungry." She says.

Then she walks towards the lady at the entrance wearing a white button-up shirt and black pencil-cut skirt. After that, she walks us to our seats. There is food everywhere with lovely flowers beside the casseroles, a small chandelier on the ceiling with yellow light; they turned on the light at 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Sarah says that I can eat whatever I want around here, and I can return if I want more. I can't remember my father bringing us to this kind of restaurant; he only bought fast food and preferred to eat in the house. Besides, he barely has time with us when all he knows is work.

"Sarah," I start. "If you like kids, why don't you have your own?"

"I have no plan of marrying someone someday." She replies.

"Why not? I mean, I can see you as a good mother. Plus, you like kids."

She looks at me and then places her spoon and fork on the side of her plate. "I like kids, but it doesn't mean I want to bear one. I only help the kids. I asked them why they ran away, and I feel obligated to return them to their prospective home." She says. "That's all."

I don't want to go home; I want to stay with her. I tell myself. I don't want to hear from her lips that she would bring me back to my wrecked family.

"What about the kids who don't have good parents?" I ask.

"Well, I talk to their parents and ask them first what happened the day or the night they ran away. If I see that their parents just had a bad day, I talk to the kid and assure him or her it was just a misunderstanding, but if I see that the parents are not really good, then I look for someone to take care of the kid."

"Why? Why didn't you take care of that kid?"

"Because I can't be sure to be there with that kid all the time."

"I don't understand." I give up.

"I know, but you eventually do understand it someday."

"Why are you doing this?" I'm becoming more and more interested in her. She is so pure.

"Someone helped me when I ran away from the house of my parents, and I promised her and myself that someday I will help all the kids who did the same."

"Is that why you became rich?"

She nods her head. "But I also helped myself; that's where I met her."

"Where is she?" I ask.

"She's gone," she nods her head in a sad motion. "Long time ago."

"May I know why you ran away?"

"Maybe some time."

She looks distinct, not like the way she is. Maybe it is a bad memory, a bad past, and I wish I did not asked her that question.

"I'm sorry."

"That's fine." She looks at me with a sad smile and finishes her food.

"Why did you let me stay with you?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Because I know you need time." She smiles at me, but her eyes are different, not like the way it is. "I know we need some vacation, away from the people we used to be with."

When we're back home, yes, my home, because it feels more like a home to me than the house of my parents, I use my new toothbrush and my new toothpaste in my new own bathroom in my new room. I put on the pajamas Sarah bought for me and put on the slippers we also bought. Before going to bed, I go to her office to give her a kiss. I know I made her happy again.