Chapter 2 Cold Shoulder

Lila's Point of View

I exit the gala, my heart heavy. Ethan's words echo in my mind-he's downgrading me to another office. The chilly night air is refreshing, and I wrap my coat tightly. Mia walks at my side, discussing the party, but I do not hear her. My mind loops Ethan's cold voice, his unmet gaze. Why is he pushing me off? I felt like we shared a moment by the screen, but now I'm not so sure.

I am getting my bag ready for the new office on Monday morning. My tiny flat is quiet; the fridge is the only thing that is on. I look at the colourful posters I drew for work that are sitting on the table. They are nice, but I do not think they will be enough. When I touch my stomach, I feel a strange flutter. I think it is just stress that is making me sleep so much lately. I shake my head and take my keys.

Our main office is bigger than the new office, which is in the middle of town. There are old desks and no walls. Sarah, my new boss, has a big smile on her face and short black hair. She shows me my desk and says, "Lila, we are glad you are here!" I smile back, but I do not mean it. I miss working in the main office. Even when he is not around, I miss seeing Ethan.

I turn on my computer and begin writing something new. I drew happy faces and bright flowers for a big client on this poster. They fly, but my mind doesn't. Ethan's green eyes and how they seemed warm and then cold keep coming back to me. I do not get him.

I eat my lunch by myself in the break room. Mia just texted me, so my phone buzzes. "How is the new place? I miss you!" "It is okay," I text back. I miss you too." I do not talk about how unhappy I am. I do not want her to be worried.

I can hear two coworkers talking at my desk. One of them asks, "Did you see Vanessa at the gala?" "She was all over Ethan." As my stomach turns, my thoughts turn to Vanessa. I saw a blonde woman who ran her hand along his arm. That was her. What does she mean to him? I want to concentrate on drawing, but my pencil keeps shaking.

I am happy tonight. I am so tired that night that I can hardly keep my eyes open. I fall asleep on my couch, my head spinning. I am sick and think I am going to throw up. It does not happen when I rush to the toilet. I look at myself in the mirror and splash water on my face. Nothing. My face was white, and my hazel eyes were tired. What is wrong with me? I tell myself that today is just a long one.

I was late for work the next morning because I had slept too late. Sarah does not see it, but I feel bad about it. The phone rings while I am at my desk drawing more flowers. It is Ethan. My heart stops beating. Why does he call? I answer with a weak voice and a lot of doubt. "Hello?"

"Lila, I need to know how your project is coming along," he points out. It sounds like he is talking to a stranger because his voice is cold. I take a deep breath.

I tell him, "Everything is going great." "I will get the drafts to you today."

"Good," he answers. "Make them perfect." Before I can say anything, he hangs up. My chest is tight as I look at my phone. Why does he act so mean? I believed he liked what I did. I believed he liked me.

I send them to him, and my heart beats fast as I do it. After an hour, he emails me back. "These need more work." Do them over." Just "please," not "good job." Just harsh words. I keep my lip together to keep from crying. I do them again and make new flowers, but my hands are very sore.

I call Mia during lunch. I tell her in a shaking voice, "Ethan does not like my work." "He is so different now."

Mia stops talking for a second. "That is not him, Lila." There must be something going on. "Did you talk to him?"

"No," I answer. "I work for him. I can not ask him why he is mad.

"You should," says Mia. "Lila, you are great. "Do not let him bother you."

I nod, but she can not see me. I agree with Mia, but I am scared to talk to Ethan. What if he gets worse? Is it possible that he will fire me? I need this job.

I got sick again that afternoon. My stomach hurts so much that I run to the toilet. This time, I threw up. I put my head in my hands and sat on the floor. This is not stress. There is a problem. I have decided to go to the doctor tomorrow. I can not go on like this any longer.

Sarah comes by when I get back to my desk. "Hey Lila, are you okay?" "You are white."

I smile and lie, "I am fine." "Just a long week."

She nods, but she is scared. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

I still work and nod, but in my mind, I am somewhere else. I feel bad about my body and think about Ethan and Vanessa. Ethan gets the new drafts, and I hope he will be okay with them this time. My stomach is in knots as I wait for him to get back to me.

In bed that night, I looked up at the ceiling. The outside sounds of the city are muffled, and my flat is dark. When I put my hand on my stomach again, the odd flutter is still there. I feel like I might be sick. Even though I am scared, I tell myself I will be okay. I need to go to the doctor right away.

After work the next night, I went to the clinic. My doctor is nice. He or she wears glasses and speaks softly. They talk to me and give me some tests. I sit in the waiting room with my hands crossed in my lap. She tells me she loves me when she calls me back.

What does she say? "Lila, you are pregnant."

My heart stops. Are you pregnant? How? I have not been with anyone in-oh, I see. Ethan and I spent one night together while we were on a business trip months ago. It just happened because we were drunk. I thought he had forgotten because he never talked about it again. I had no idea it could end up like this.

I leave the clinic with a lot going through my mind. A child. Ethan's child. I am not sure I can tell him. I am already moving away from him. What if he does not want it? What if he does not want me? Tears are burning in my eyes, but I wipe them away. I need to be strong. I need to take care of this myself.

I try to be normal when I go to work. Sarah smiles at me, and I try to smile back, but it is hard. When I check my email, I hope to see a message from Ethan. It is short and cold from him. "I like drafts better. Do your best." Again, my heart sinks. It does not bother him. How am I going to fill him in on the news?

When my phone rings, I am leaving work. It is a text message from a number I do not know. "Lila, let us talk." Come see me tonight. –V" My hands are shaking. Vanessa? Why does she have my phone number? Why does she want me to meet her? It seems like she does not want anything good, but I do not know what it is. My heart is beating fast as I look at the text. What does she know about me and Ethan?