Chapter 3 THE WEIGHT OF NO

I was just 18 the first time I said "No. "

Junior had leaned in behind the school lab block-sweaty hands, trembling lips, shaking with the boldness of teenage curiosity.

His palm slid to my waist, his mouth twitching nervously as he leaned closer.

"No, " I said, firm but soft. His hand dropped. His eyes widened. "What do you mean 'no'? Don't you like me?"

"I do, " I whispered, "but I'm not ready. "

He scoffed, stepping back. "You are pretending. Don't worry, I won `t beg you. "

The teasing came almost immediately.

"She's carrying virginity on her head. "

"Virgin Mary wannabe. "

They made it sound like a disease. Like something to be ashamed of. But I held my ground. Because to me, it wasn't about fear. It was about worth.

My body was something sacred, and even if no one else saw it that way, I did.

Fast forward to now-University.

Supposed maturity. Supposed growth. But the story hadn't changed.

Except this time, the betrayal was louder. Sharper. Deeper.

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the white sheets I had just changed for the third time since that night.

I had scrubbed every inch of the room, lit candles, opened windows... yet the air still felt heavy. Contaminated.

It wasn't just that Stella had slept with Jason.

It was that they did it here-on my bed. Under the roof I shared with her. The girl I laughed with, prayed with, trusted.

The one who helped zip my gowns before class and borrowed my lip gloss.

She slept with him like it meant nothing.

And maybe, to them, it didn't. But to me-it was a burial. The burial of something pure.

I hadn't cried that day. Not even when I walked in and saw them tangled, sweaty, too shocked to even apologize.

I didn't scream.

I didn't faint.

I just ran.

And then I went silent.

But silence is loud. It screams in the corners of your heart when no one else is watching. All day, I lay in bed, replaying everything. From our first date to our first argument, to that last conversation when I had asked Jason again if he was fine with waiting.

He had smiled.

"Of course, Sewa. I respect your boundaries. " Lies.

Now, he hadn't texted. No call. No apology. But Stella? She was loud.

She posted a picture that evening. New hair. New nails. A confident smile.

Caption:"Unbothered. Unbroken. Unapologetic."

The comments flooded in like wildfire. 🔥🔥🔥 "Slay queen!"

"Your enemies are not ready!"

"Soft life only. "

One comment stood out.

"Finally free from that virgin's cage. "

My throat tightened.

I tossed the phone across the room. They weren't hiding it. They were proud. I curled into my blanket and stared at the ceiling, eyes stinging.

What did I get for waiting?

What did I gain from keeping myself?

I wasn't bitter about the sex. I was bitter about the betrayal. About how I was made to feel foolish for choosing purity.

How saying "No" didn't protect me.

I skipped classes the next day. I didn't eat. Didn't respond to messages. The only thing I did was walk to the rooftop at night and sit under the stars.

The wind was soft that night, brushing gently against my skin. I looked up at the moon, full and glowing.

"God, " I whispered, "was I stupid?"

Silence.

Not the peaceful kind. The cold one. The kind that echoes your pain back to you.

When I finally slept, it wasn't restful.

I had a strange dream. In it, I stood in white. Alone. The air around me was warm, soft, sacred. Then slowly, from behind, a shadow crept toward me. It didn't have a shape-just smoke. Silent, but ominous.

It brushed the edge of my dress. Suddenly, the warmth around me dropped. I felt cold.

Exposed.

I turned to run but couldn't move. The shadow whispered something I couldn't understand.

Then, just before I woke, I heard a voice. Not loud. Just firm.

"You don't know what's been kept for you. "

I sat up, gasping. The room was dark. My skin prickled with goosebumps. I shook my head.

"Just a dream, "

I told myself. "Just stress. "

But deep down, I wasn't so sure.

That day, I stayed quiet again. Everything felt like a blur. The other hostel girls looked at me with either pity or judgment. Some giggled when I passed.

I wasn't the sweet, "put-together" Adesewa anymore.

I was "the virgin who lost everything without even having sex. "

Later in the evening, I received a message from Jason.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. I was frustrated. You kept pushing me away. I'm a man, Sewa. I waited as long as I could. "

My hands trembled. He made it sound like I owed him sex. Like waiting was a punishment. I didn't respond.

Instead, I blocked him.

But I kept hearing his words: "I waited as long as I could. "

" And I remembered all the times I'd blamed myself for making boundaries. For trying to be different. For saying "No. "

Was I wrong?

Or was the world just too loud with its lies?

I thought back to every moment I had said no-not just to sex, but to compromise, to shortcuts, to friends who pressured me to "just loosen up."

All those moments had cost me something. But what if... they were preserving something too?

I didn't have the answers. But I had a feeling.

Something inside me whispered: Keep holding on. Even when the world calls it foolish. Even when it hurts.

Because not all treasures shout their worth.

Some are silent until they're stolen.