Chapter 4 4

Alpha Grayson Wolfe

I don't know what to do. I know she might have been forced into this marriage. It's only natural that she'd try to hurt herself.

She's not that young-she's eighteen-but I understand she was pressured into this whole thing. But she doesn't know why I'm the way I am, why I stopped talking, why I don't want to speak to anyone. It's true that it's psychological, but I *can* control myself and talk. It's just that I only speak when I'm angry, or stressed, or anxious.

If she knew what happened to me to get me to this point, she never would have married me, even if they forced her. I know she'll try to ask questions. The only people who could tell her the truth are my grandfather or me.

She seems beautiful and delicate. It's clear she's an innocent girl, with no experience. But I can't let myself get hurt again. Every time I've been hurt, it was really bad. At the same time, I'm terrified she'll find out the truth. I'm scared she'll find out what happened-the day I lost my voice.

I'm scared she'll learn that I killed my fiancée. I killed her brutally. I killed her and the one she was with.

My father.

Yeah, she was with my father. I killed them both. But the shock left me speechless after that. Maybe because I don't want to talk about what happened. Maybe I don't want to say the details.

People have heard all sorts of rumors, but no one knows the truth except my grandfather. Even though he saw his own son murdered, he never blamed me. He knew the shock was too much for me. That's why he wants to make it up to me.

But that doesn't change the fact that I never should have killed my father, even if he hurt me in love. That's my problem-I don't know how to control myself or my nerves. The beast inside me comes out.

Maybe that's why I'm not just an ordinary Alpha who controls his pack. That's why I'm both a killer and the head of the mafia among humans. That's why I love blood and violence.

I know exactly why my grandfather chose this girl for me. She's never been with anyone. She's never had any kind of sexual, physical, or even romantic relationship. He knows I'll never be able to trust another woman-or anyone-ever again.

But every time I remember it, every time I think about not just seeing my father in bed with my fiancée-who I was supposed to marry in two days-but what really broke me, what traumatized me and made me unable to speak, was remembering myself as I slaughtered him, attacking him, turning into a wolf, a werewolf, and eating him-devouring his insides, tearing him apart until all his blood was gone.

I could still smell her in the room, but I took my time in the shower. I let the cold water run over my body, to calm me down, to cool me off.

I was afraid to touch her. Not because I thought she might not be a virgin or that she'd had relationships before. No, even if she wasn't a virgin, I wouldn't have done anything to her-I didn't love her, I didn't even know her. But what I was scared of was how I'd be with her in bed. Would I be able to control myself? Or would I be so rough that she might die in my arms? I started doubting myself.

If she had been a prostitute, I wouldn't have worried about her. If she died from the violence-physical or sexual-in bed, it wouldn't have mattered. I'm an Alpha after all. But she seems sweet, delicate, with a small body. I don't even know if she's weak or not.

But I liked her smile. I liked that, even after she tried to end her life, she could still laugh. I mean, who tries to kill themselves by jumping from the second floor-just a three-meter drop? She's kind of silly. She didn't even break a finger.

But that shows she's innocent. And I liked that about her. There's something about her that draws me in.

Now, it's time for me to go out to her.

I put on my robe and went out. I could sense she was in the bed. I don't know why, but I felt she was in my bed. Maybe she was a little bold, or maybe just trying to be. But we'll see.

I went in and pretended not to see her. I sat down. Suddenly, she lifted the blanket and smiled at me, waving, and said,

"I'm here!"

Then she added,

"I just thought I should sleep in the same room as you. I hope I'm not bothering you. I'm just not used to sleeping alone."

I looked around, then grabbed the notebook and pen I always keep by my side and wrote to her:

"No problem. You can sleep next to me. But I'm curious-who did you sleep next to before? Have you ever had a relationship before, or did you sleep next to your mom and dad?"

She shook her head and hands, saying,

"No, no, that's not what I mean! I used to sleep next to my teddy bears and my dolls. I have a lot of toys. They always slept with me. And my bed in that room was huge. Honestly, I think I need to change the décor and a few things around here."

I thought to myself, *Here we go. She's going to start making requests, probably because she knows I'm rich and have billions.* But then I thought, *What's the problem? It's fine. She's my wife, after all.* I nodded and wrote to her,

"Okay, no problem. I'll have someone go with you to buy anything you want. Whatever you want to change, you can change."

Suddenly, she jumped up on the bed, excited like a child, and said,

"Really? I can buy everything? Okay, I want a kids' room! But it has to be all pink-with some orange. Actually, you know what? Come with me and let's pick it all out together. The day after tomorrow."

Then, out of nowhere, she hugged me, jumped onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist while I was still standing. My robe fell open, and I felt myself get hard. Her eyes widened. Before I knew it, I was pulling her close and kissing her, dominating her completely.

She responded to me. It was obvious from the way she kissed me that she'd never had a relationship before. The feeling was strange, but wonderful. I was so scared I'd hurt her, like I might break her in my hands, but I wanted to taste every inch of her with my tongue.

I laid her gently on the bed. Suddenly, I started kissing her neck, and the next thing I knew, I was tearing off all her clothes-her pajamas, her underwear, her pants-my hands exploring every part of her. I looked at her, and she understood. She nodded and said,

"I'm ready. I'm a virgin."

At that moment, I felt like she was mine. I wanted her so badly. I didn't think about anything else. It was as if I'd loved her for a long time, like she'd been my wife forever. I nodded too, and let my robe fall.