Chapter 1

The pain was the first thing to fade, replaced by a bone-deep chill that had nothing to do with the night air. One moment, my world was the thunder of hooves, the grit of dirt in my mouth, and a final, crushing weight. The next, it was the scent of cheap incense and the scratchy feel of a red silk blanket against my skin.

My eyes shot open. Red. Everything was red. Red curtains, red bedsheets embroidered with auspicious dragons, a red tablecloth on the small wooden table. The flickering candlelight cast long, dancing shadows on the walls. This was my wedding chamber. The wedding chamber of Autumn Frost and Shen Huaiyu. A place I hadn't seen in thirty years, a place I had died to escape.

The memories hit me like a physical blow, a torrent of suffering from a life I had already lived. A life of desperate, unreturned love for the man who was now my husband. A life of being pushed aside, humiliated by his cousin Jasmine, and finally abandoned to die alone, trampled by horses in a frantic crowd.

I sat up, my heart hammering against my ribs. The thin wedding dress felt alien on my body. I wasn't the broken, middle-aged woman who died in the street. I was young again. I was back. Back to the very beginning.

The door creaked open, and a tall figure stumbled in, bringing with him the strong smell of alcohol. Shen Huaiyu. My husband. In the dim light, his face was as handsome and as cold as I remembered. He was the county magistrate, the son of a great general, a man of power and prestige. And he despised me.

He looked at me, his eyes clouded with drink and disdain. "You're still awake," he said, his voice flat and devoid of any warmth. It wasn't a question. It was an accusation.

In my first life, I would have rushed to his side, tried to help him, my heart aching with a love he never wanted. Now, I just stared at him, my mind a whirlwind of shock and a dawning, terrifying clarity. I was here. This was real.

He seemed to take my silence as an insult. He walked closer, his shadow looming over me. "Don't think that because you married into my family, you are something special. You are here for one reason and one reason only, and it has nothing to do with my desires."

My throat was dry. I tried to speak, but no words came out. What could I say? That I had already lived this life and watched it end in tragedy? That I knew the depths of his coldness?

He misunderstood my stunned expression. A cruel smirk touched his lips. "What, are you disappointed? Did you expect a loving husband? You should have known your place. A woman like you should be grateful for any position at all." He gestured vaguely around the room. "This is more than you deserve."

He mentioned Jasmine then, his voice softening for a fraction of a second. "Jasmine is not feeling well tonight. She is more delicate than you. You should learn from her, learn some grace instead of just sitting there like a wooden doll."

The mention of her name was what finally broke the spell. Jasmine. The architect of so much of my pain. The woman who had whispered poison into his ear, who had smiled at me while she plotted my ruin.

Shen Huaiyu didn't wait for a response. He turned his back on me, pulling off his outer robe and tossing it carelessly onto a chair. He lay down on the far side of the bed, as far from me as possible, and fell into a drunken sleep.

I sat there in the silence, listening to his steady breathing. The flicker of hope I might have felt, the insane thought that I could change him, died before it could even form. This was not a second chance at love. It was a second chance to live. To escape him, to escape Jasmine, and most importantly, to protect my mother, who had suffered so much alongside me in that first, terrible life. This time, I would not be a fool. This time, I would live for myself.