Chapter 1

I jolted awake, my heart hammering against my ribs. The air in our small house was thick and still, smelling of old wood and my mother' s lemon-scented floor cleaner.

My mother, Debra, stood in the doorway of the room I shared with my twin sister, Molly. Her hands were clasped in front of her, a look of righteous certainty on her face.

"Girls," she announced, her voice filled with the kind of gravity she usually reserved for Sunday sermons. "The Lord has spoken to me. For the next one hundred days, until your SAT exams are complete, there will be no secular music. No television. No internet, unless it is for approved school assignments."

Molly, already awake in the bed next to mine, sat up straight. "Of course, Mama. That' s a wonderful idea."

I said nothing. My throat was dry, and a cold dread was spreading through me. This wasn' t a new rule. This was an old one.

I recognized the faded floral wallpaper, the crack in the ceiling that looked like a crooked smile, the exact way the morning light hit the worn-out rug. I was sixteen again.

Debra beamed at Molly. "You see, Gabrielle? Your sister understands. She is a child of God, open to His guidance."

Her eyes then fell on me, her smile tightening. "You would do well to follow her example. The SAT is a gift from the Lord. Worldly distractions will only crowd out the Holy Spirit' s guidance and make you forget everything you' ve studied."

I remembered. In my first life, I had argued. I had pleaded for reason, for a single hour of internet to unwind, for music to help me study. My arguments only branded me as rebellious, as ungrateful.

This time, I just nodded slowly. "Okay, Mama."

Debra looked momentarily surprised by my easy compliance, but she recovered quickly, her expression softening into one of pity. "Good. It' s for your own good."

She turned and left, her footsteps creaking down the hallway.

The last memory of my previous life was sharp and brutal. Molly, after failing her own SATs, had screamed at me. I had secretly helped her plagiarize a major essay because she was a social pariah, unable to function at school. She repaid me by blaming me for her failure, accusing me of "introducing sin" into her study habits with the internet. Her eyes were wild with rage. Then came the shove, the sickening fall down the stairs, and the darkness.

Now, I was back. Reborn into the moment it all began.

Molly turned to me, her face a mask of piety. "You should show Mama more respect, Gabby. Her faith is what keeps this family together."

In my first life, I would have snapped back, pointing out the hypocrisy. Now, I just looked at her. I saw the laziness behind her eyes, the envy she tried so hard to hide.

I shrugged and got out of bed. "I' m going to the library."

Her mask slipped for a second, replaced by confusion. "The library? But Mama just said-"

"To study," I cut her off, my voice flat. "For the SATs."

I walked past her, pulling on a pair of old jeans and a sweatshirt. I didn' t look back. This time, there would be no empathy for Molly. No secret help. No arguments with my mother. This time, I was getting out. Alone.