Chapter 3 THE COLD THAT NEVER LEAVES

[Lyra's POV]

"Hunger, pain, and silence can change a person faster than any lie."

The cold in the dungeon never left. It crawled up from the floor and settled in my bones. I sat with my knees pulled to my chest. My back pressed to the wall. The stone was always damp. My hands were always shaking.

I counted the marks on the wall. I scratched them with a broken piece of bread crust. One for each day. I lost count. Sometimes I forgot what day it was. Sometimes I forgot what I was waiting for.

My stomach hurt. I was hungry all the time. My mouth was dry. The water they gave me tasted like metal. The bread was hard. I ate it anyway. I chewed slow and tried to make it last.

Sometimes I heard footsteps above me. Sometimes I heard voices. Most of the time it was quiet. I listened to the silence. I listened to my own breath. I listened to my heart.

I remembered the day they dragged me here. Lila's face. Her cruel smile. Her wink. I remembered the way she looked at me. Like I was nothing. Like I was already gone.

I thought about Lila every day. I tried to remember when things started to go wrong. We used to be friends. We used to laugh together. We used to talk about the future. I wondered if she ever missed me. I wondered if she ever felt bad for what she did.

I remembered the elders' voices. Elder Rowan. His cold eyes. "Betrayal will not be tolerated." I remembered the way he looked at me. Like I was a problem he needed to solve.

I thought about Kaden. He stood with the others. He did not look at me. He did not say a word. I wondered if he believed Lila. I wondered if he believed me. I wondered if he ever cared.

I thought about my mother, Leah. She was gone. She left before it happened. She said she had to help someone in another town. She hugged me before she left. I tried to remember her hug. I tried to remember her voice. I missed her.

I wondered if she knew what happened to me. I wondered if she would come back. I wondered if she would believe me.

Sometimes I dreamed about my father. I never met him. My mother said he was brave. She said he had to leave. I wondered if he was still alive. I wondered if he would have believed me.

Sometimes I dreamed about a girl with my face. She called my name. I could never reach her. I woke up with tears on my cheeks. The dreams felt real. Sometimes, in the dream, I heard someone whisper, "You are two halves. You are the key." I did not know what it meant.

One night, I woke up sweating. I remembered a voice, soft and strange. "The moon and the blood. The lost will be found. The world will change." I did not know if I was awake or dreaming. I pressed my hand to my chest. My heart beat fast.

Then, I remembered the trial. Lila's voice. "I saw Lyra meet with a stranger by the river. I followed her. She gave him a map." I remembered the elders' faces. I remembered Mira's nervous eyes.

I remembered the map they found in my room. I never saw it before. I wondered who put it there. I wondered if Lila had help.

I scratched more marks into the wall. I counted them. I lost track. I started over.

The door opened one day. It was Bran that stepped in. He held a bowl. He pushed it toward me with his boot. I picked up the bowl. I ate the bread. I also drank the water.

Bran watched me. His eyes were tired.

"Do you believe me?" I asked.

He looked away. "It's not my place."

I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw the bowl at him. But I didn't. I was too tired.

"Don't forget to tell my mother I didn't do it," I said.

He nodded. "If I see her."

He left. The door slammed. The sound echoed.

I pressed my back to the wall. I closed my eyes. I tried to call my wolf. Again, she was quiet. She felt far away.

I tried to shift, I have bever done it before . I closed my eyes. I reached for my wolf. My bones ached. My skin burned. My breath came fast. Nothing happened!

I tried again. Pain shot through my body. My hands twisted. My nails grew, then snapped back. My body shook. I fell to the floor.

I lay there, breathing hard. My wolf whimpered inside me. I whispered, "Don't leave me."

I stayed on the floor. I listened to the water drip as I counted my breaths.

Suddenly, I remembered when Lila and I stole honey from the kitchen. We got caught. She blamed me. I took the punishment. She brought me berries later. She said sorry. I forgave her. I always forgave her. Now I wondered if I could forgive her again.

I remembered Mira. She slipped a piece of fruit through the bars once. "Don't give up," she whispered. I held onto that.

I thought about running away. If I left, would they come after me? Would my mother find me gone when she came back? I didn't want to hurt her.

I thought about the map. I never saw it before. But they found it in my room. How did it get there? Did Lila put it there? Did someone else? I tried to remember if anyone came into my room. I couldn't think of anyone.

Maybe Lila had help. Maybe someone else wanted me gone. Maybe the elders were scared. Maybe they wanted someone to blame.

I pressed my hands to my face. I tried not to cry. I would not give Lila the satisfaction.

I whispered, "I'm still here."

The days blurred together. Hunger gnawed at me. My body ached. My wolf was fading. But I held on.

Sometimes I talked to myself. I talked to my wolf. I talked to the darkness. No one answered.

One night, I heard guards talking outside my cell. Their voices were low.

"Did you hear what the old witch said?" one whispered. "About the girl and the prophecy?"

"Keep your voice down," the other said. "They say she's cursed. They say she's the reason for all the trouble."

I pressed my ear to the wall, but the voices faded.

I counted the cracks in the wall. I counted my heartbeats. I counted the days, but I lost track.

One day, the door opened again. Bran came in. He looked tired.

He set a bowl down again. He told me to eat.

I looked at him. "Why are you doing this?"

He looked away. "Orders."

"Do you believe I did it?" I asked.

Yet again, he didn't answer. He just left me alone.

The darkness pressed in. I held on.

Again, I dreamed I was free, running through the woods with my wolf. I woke up. I was still here.

I told myself I wouldn't let Lila win. I wouldn't let her break me. Not completely.

Not yet.

I scratched another mark into the wall. I counted the marks. I counted my breaths.

I waited for morning.