Chapter 3

Back in our Phoenix house, my hands shook so violently I could barely unpack Lily' s small suitcase. The familiar surroundings felt alien, tainted. Lily, sensing my distress, tiptoed around me.

"Mommy, are we going back to Austin?" she asked, her lower lip trembling.

"No, sweetie. We' re staying here."

My phone rang. Mark. I ignored it. It rang again. And again.

Then a text: "Sarah, please. Pick up. We need to talk. Lily misses me. Don' t do this to her."

Using Lily. Of course.

I texted back a single, furious reply: "Leave us alone!"

He didn' t. The calls and texts kept coming. Painting himself as the victim, me as the one tearing the family apart.

"I made a mistake, Sarah, but it' s not worth destroying everything we have."

"Think about Lily. She needs her father."

"You' re overreacting. It wasn't a full-blown affair."

I found Lily sitting on her bed, tears streaming down her face. She saw me crying in the hallway and ran to hug my legs.

"Don' t cry, Mommy. It' s okay."

Her innocent attempt to comfort me was a fresh stab of pain. I remembered all the times I' d praised Mark to her, built him up as this wonderful, loving father. What a lie that had become. I' d propped up a false idol for my own child. The guilt was immense. I broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, holding Lily tight.

He called again, his tone shifting to pleading. "Sarah, just come back to the apartment. We can sort this out. For Lily."

The thought of being in that soulless corporate box, the place where he' d entertained Ashley, where he' d lied to me, made my skin crawl.

"Never," I choked out before hanging up.

The next morning, I couldn't bear to be in our house, his house. I packed a few things for Lily and me and checked into a local extended-stay hotel. It was anonymous, clean, and far from the memories.

Just as I was trying to create a semblance of normalcy for Lily, my phone rang. My mother.

"Sarah? Where are you? Mark called us. He' s worried sick. Your father and I are on our way. And Mark' s parents too. We' re all coming to Phoenix."

My heart sank. Summoned by Mark. Of course, they' d heard his side. The "mistake in judgment," the "not a full-blown affair," Sarah "overreacting."

They arrived a few hours later, a united front of parental concern and disapproval. My mother, Carol Davidson, pulled me aside in the cramped hotel room, while Lily was distracted by a coloring book.

"Sarah, you need to be realistic," she said, her voice low and urgent. "A divorce? Think about Lily' s future. The financial difficulties of being a single mother. You don' t have a recent work history, honey. How will you fight for custody? He has a good job, stability."

Her words were pragmatic, but they felt like a betrayal.

"Think of Lily growing up with a stepmom," she added, her eyes pleading. "Is that what you want for her?"