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ZEVRAN ILVANE POV
She watched me, her brows dipping.
I crossed my fingers at my side, my heart barely beating from holding my breath.
"Why would I play with you?"
Her voice was hostile but it still sounded angelic to my ears. She was so perfect that every time I saw her, I had to stop myself from blinking so that I didn't miss anything.
"Because it's either that or you wait for Master to come to fetch you," I got out, and just like every other time I was reminded of Master's ultimate hold on her, a fierce hot burning started up at the center of my chest.
I hated the way Master treated her. I knew he said that he only resorted to beating to correct disobedience and set people on the right path, but Vesper was an angel, and every time he put bruises on her beautiful, flawless skin, it just made me feel like tearing something apart.
Killing and cutting up those men who had betrayed Master had taken the edge off, but I was still feeling itchy.
Her gaze dropped to my hands and I hurried to hide it behind my back. I'd tried to wash all the blood off as best as I could, but I was sure she could still see the reddish sheen on my pale skin.
"You should go play with children your own age. I shouldn't have to deal with your father and you too." She lifted her head, her mercury-gray eyes catching the light filtering into the room like frost. "Get out of my room," she said, pointing to the door.
I stared at her, the dark feeling in my chest swirling and making it difficult to breathe. I clenched my hand, my face scrunching as I fought to calm down.
What the hell was this awful feeling? Ever since she showed up three months ago, every time I saw her, I had the strangest feelings that made me feel as if I was going crazy. It was suffocating, I hated it but I've also found that I've come to crave it.
Master must never find out. He would be disappointed if he found out that I did have feelings after all.
I could recall how happy he had been when the doctor had given him my test results and pronounced that I was a psychopath. For the first time, he'd looked me in the eyes and told me how proud he was.
I thought that his approval would have made me happy, but once the words left his mouth, I found I didn't care for it at all. Still, he had been the only God I knew, and for a while, I was content to walk in his shadow, but now, my focus was shifting.
I'd never felt anything but satisfaction when Master tortured people... and when I tortured people, all I felt was pleasure and liberation; it was like getting a drink of cold water after threading a fiery desert for days... Until Vesper.
From the very moment I set my eyes on her, everything shifted, even the vibrancy of how I saw the world changed. It became brighter, vivid, all of it molding to compliment her very essence.
I thought about her every second of the day and watched her for the next. If the day came that I would have to kill her, could I really do it?
"I told you to get out. Don't just stand there and stare at me!" She snapped, getting up from her seat.
"I didn't mean to stare" I got out quickly, moving back to give her more space.
Her eyes were suspicious. It was as if she thought I was going to attack at any minute.
It was both weird and refreshing to see someone who wore their emotions on their sleeve. I could just look at her and know everything she was thinking or feeling. It was foreign because In our world, showing any emotion at all was asking to be killed. I learned that at a young age. The hard way.
"Then why are you still here?"
"I just thought that you'd appreciate going out of your room and playing in the field for a while. Also, there's no one close to my age except you, so it should be okay for us to play together," I said with my practiced smile that disarmed even the most hard-hearted.
It didn't work on her, though. Instead, it made her move even further away from me.
"Stop smiling like that, you're creeping me out" She shouted, glaring at me.
My smile faltered, the corner of my lips twitching.
Did I need to be more firmer? I didn't want to leave the room without her.
"If you come with me, I might consider helping you escape from here," I said, watching her keenly.
"What?" she asked, her eyes widening, and for the first time, she took a step in my direction. "Will you really-" she stopped, then shook her head, her soft features sharpening. "Damn it, why am I even talking to you," she muttered under her breath then held my gaze. "I don't need your help. You and your father can go rot in hell! Get out!"
I stepped toward her and she shoved me harshly, her breath short and sharp as she glared at me.
The spot her hands had touched burned, the pain of her rejection stinging.
"Get out right now!" She yelled, pointing to the door with trembling fingers.
She was agitated, and I didn't like that it was because of me.
I nodded, turned, and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me.
There was a lump in my throat, and as I stood in front of the door with Vesper on the other side, it grew more suffocating.
But then I remembered that Master had said that violence was an act of love and that control was only lost when one got overly passionate about something they truly cared about.
For a moment, the suffocating feeling eased.
Maybe she shoved me so hard because deep down she wanted to be my friend and didn't know how to go about it. But I knew it was all a lie. Master had also said violence sometimes only meant violence, and that to get control, one must exert it without holding back.
But I didn't want that with Vesper. I just wanted her to like me and be with me.
"Don't hate me, Vesper?" I whispered, tapping gently on the door. "I even said I was going to be yours forever."
"Master Zevran," someone called, and I turned.
Ana stood there with a bowl in her hand. She was Master's little mistress. She thought no one knew, but I did, but I didn't care about her. Whatever Master did was his business.
"Are you looking for..."
"No," I said, cutting her off, then proceeded to smile but stopped halfway as I remembered Vesper saying that I had creeped her out. "I just wanted to see if Vesper wanted to play with me, but... She doesn't"
"I'll speak to her." She said and opened the door.
Vesper glanced up, and for a long second, I forgot how to breathe as her lips curved in a small smile, her eyes shining as she saw Ana.
The dark feeling brewing in my chest churned, the vice of it twisting in my heart as I watched her let Ana get close enough to touch her.
Why wasn't she pushing Ana away when, just moments ago, she'd pushed and glared at me like I was the most disgusting thing to ever exist?
I clutched my chest.
I never coveted anything, so what was this awful feeling burning through my veins?
My hands balled into fists.
Vesper's eyes met mine, then she turned to Ana and nodded, the small smile making another appearance.
I hated it. Hated it so much it felt like I was dying.
I watched as she spoke freely with Ana, the urge for mayhem getting harder to resist.
I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear her rejection.
Ana was going to have to die.