Chapter 3

Ethan dreamt of sunshine.

He was small, riding on his biological father' s shoulders, laughing. His mother, young and happy, was there, her smile bright. Sarah, a girl with pigtails, was chasing butterflies nearby.

It was a warm, safe world.

Then the dream shifted.

The sun vanished. Shadows lengthened.

Kevin appeared, a small, smirking boy, pulling at his mother' s hand.

His father was gone.

His mother' s face was strained, her eyes full of a guilt that Ethan didn' t understand back then.

Sarah was there, but she wasn' t looking at him. She was looking at Kevin, a strange pity in her eyes.

The dream Sarah turned to him, her face cold. "You have to give him everything, Ethan. It's only fair."

He woke with a gasp, tears on his cheeks.

The dream' s warmth was gone, leaving only the familiar ache. But it was just a dream.

He wiped his eyes. The real pain was sharper, colder.

A car horn honked outside.

It was Mark Thompson, Sarah' s father. He was early.

Ethan had asked him for a ride into Eureka; he' d told his family he had an early "job interview" to discuss options if Stanford didn't work out. A lie, but a necessary one. His real meeting was with Ms. Albright to finalize his departure.

Mark greeted him with a kind smile, though his eyes were troubled.

"Morning, Ethan. Ready to go?"

As they drove, Mark said, "Son, about that Stanford thing... and Kevin..."

Ethan just nodded. "It's complicated, Mr. Thompson."

Mark sighed. "Sarah told me you decided to stay and help the family. That you' re letting Kevin have your spot at the community college."

He sounded disappointed. "Stanford is a big deal, Ethan. A life-changer."

Ethan looked out the window. "I know."

They pulled up to the high school. Ms. Albright' s office.

"Mr. Thompson," Sarah' s voice came from behind them. She was getting out of her own car.

She hurried over. "Dad! Ethan! I was just coming to see Ms. Albright about some forms for Kevin."

She gave Ethan a strained smile. "Ethan, good, you're here. Ms. Albright has that deferral paperwork for Stanford, right? And the community college transfer for Kevin?"

Mark looked at Sarah, then at Ethan. "Sarah, what are you doing?"

"Just helping Ethan do the right thing, Dad," she said smoothly.

Ethan saw Ms. Albright watching from her office window. He gave a slight, almost imperceptible shake of his head.

Ms. Albright would understand. He needed to maintain the facade for a little longer.

He didn't want a scene. He just wanted to leave. Quietly.

Mark looked angry. "This isn't right, Sarah."

He turned to Ethan. "Son, if you want to go to Stanford, I' ll help you. We' ll figure it out."

Before Ethan could respond, Sarah stepped between them.

"Dad, please. Ethan has made his decision." She turned to Ethan. "Haven't you, Ethan?"

Ethan met her gaze. He saw the desperation there, the fear that he might change his mind, that her fragile construct of "doing the right thing" might shatter.

He said nothing.

Mark sighed, defeated, and walked back to his truck. "I'll wait for you, Ethan. Take your time." He drove a little way down the street and parked.

Sarah let out a breath. "Good. Now, about those forms..."

She followed him into Ms. Albright' s office.

Ms. Albright greeted them professionally, her eyes giving nothing away. She had the Stanford deferral papers and the community college forms on her desk.

"Ethan, Sarah," Ms. Albright said. "Please, sit down."

Sarah immediately started talking. "Ethan needs to sign these, Ms. Albright. The deferral for Stanford, and he' s giving his honors program spot at Redwood Community to Kevin. Kevin also needs some of Ethan' s scholarship money for his books and fees. Ethan agreed."

Ethan almost laughed. He hadn' t agreed to anything of the sort.

He thought, She' s really good at this. So earnest, so concerned for Kevin. The perfect martyr, sacrificing for her fragile future brother-in-law.

Sarah continued, "And Ethan, you' ll need to give me your bank details so we can transfer some of your college fund to Kevin' s account. He' ll need it for living expenses too."

Ethan finally spoke, his voice flat. "My college fund? What college fund? You all spent that years ago on Kevin' s 'special needs'."

He was referring to the small trust his grandmother had left him. It had been systematically drained for Kevin' s orthodontics, Kevin' s therapy, Kevin' s art classes.

Sarah flushed. For a second, a flicker of something – guilt? – crossed her face.

Then it was gone. "Don't be dramatic, Ethan. It was for the family. And we' ll make it up to you. Once we' re married, and you have a good job at the mill, and Kevin is settled in college, things will be better. I promise."

A hollow promise. Like all her recent promises.

Suddenly, Kevin burst into the office, his face pale, his eyes wide with panic.

"Sarah! Sarah! I heard you talking about... about Ethan and the mill... and you getting married... I... I can' t!"

He clutched his chest, gasping for breath.

He then dramatically smashed his head against the side of Ms. Albright' s metal filing cabinet. Not hard, but enough to make a sound and look convincing.

"Aargh! My head! I can' t live like this! If Sarah marries Ethan, I' ll... I' ll die! Sarah, you' re the only one who understands me!"

Ms. Albright stood up, alarmed. Sarah rushed to Kevin' s side.

"Kevin! Oh my god, are you okay?" She cradled his head.

She turned on Ethan, her eyes blazing. "This is your fault! You and your selfishness! You' re driving him to this!"

Ethan stared, speechless. The audacity, the sheer manipulative genius of Kevin, was almost breathtaking.

Ms. Albright, however, looked skeptical. She picked up her phone. "I'm calling his parents. And perhaps an ambulance, if his head injury is serious."

Kevin, hearing this, immediately started to "recover." "No... no ambulance. I' ll be... I' ll be okay. Just... a little dizzy."

Brenda and Gary arrived moments later, alerted by a frantic text from Sarah. They fussed over Kevin, glaring at Ethan.

"He did this to himself," Ethan said quietly to Ms. Albright, who nodded slightly, her lips pressed into a thin line.

Ethan felt a wave of despair wash over him. Kevin always won. He always twisted everything.

He remembered Sarah, back in grade school, fiercely pushing a bully away from him. "You leave Ethan alone, you hear me?"

Her eyes had been bright with righteous anger then. For him.

Now, that same fire was directed at him, all for Kevin.

Kevin was like a vine, Ethan thought, slowly strangling everything good in his life.

He felt the last of his tears for Sarah, for his family, dry up.

He wouldn't cry for them anymore.

He would live. For himself. For the future Petey and the NSA were offering him. A future far away from here.

He stood up. "Ms. Albright, I need to go."

He walked out of the office, leaving the chaos behind.

He went back to his small room. He didn't have much to pack. A few clothes, some books.

He found an old, faded photograph of him and Sarah, laughing, taken years ago at the county fair.

He looked at it for a long moment.

Then, he tore it in half, then in quarters, and dropped the pieces into his trash can.

He took out the box of her letters again, the ones he hadn't burned yet.

He didn' t need a fire this time. He just ripped them, methodically, into tiny pieces.

The words of love, of promise, turned into meaningless scraps.

He felt a strange sense of calm, of release.

The door creaked open. Sarah stood there, watching him.

She saw the pile of torn paper on his desk. Her eyes widened.

"Ethan? What... what are you doing?"

Her voice was small, uncertain. For the first time in a long time, she looked scared. Scared of him, of what he was becoming. Or perhaps, what he was no longer.