Chapter 2

I remembered middle school. I loved advanced science. Emily hated it.

My grades were high. Emily' s were low.

"It's not fair to Emily that you're so far ahead," Karen said.

She made me write out all my notes for Emily, detailed explanations for every concept.

Hours of work. My work, for Emily.

"You' re not sharing enough," Karen decided one day.

Emily had complained she felt bad because I was smarter.

So, for fairness, I was punished.

There was a family trip to an amusement park. Emily' s favorite.

I wasn't allowed to go.

"You need to think about how your actions affect your sister," Karen told me.

I stayed home.

They brought back leftovers. Emily' s favorite fried chicken. Cold.

I hated fried chicken. It was a small, bitter detail.

Karen' s fairness always had these details.

Later, the pressure started.

"You need to score lower on your tests, Sarah."

"Why, Mom?"

"To be fair to Emily. She can't keep up. It makes her feel bad."

I resisted once. I scored perfectly on a math test. Emily failed.

That night, Karen drove me out of town.

To a neighborhood I didn't know. Dark streets. Rough-looking people.

She stopped the car.

"Get out."

"Mom, please."

"Get out, Sarah. Think about fairness."

She pushed me out. Drove away.

I was terrified. I walked for hours until a police car found me.

Karen picked me up from the station. She didn't speak.

The fear worked. I started to score lower.

Sometimes, I earned a place in a special summer program.

Karen would pay for Emily to attend too, even if Emily wasn't qualified.

"It has to look equal," she' d say.

My compliance was now solid, built on fear.

The pattern was set. Emily benefited. I suffered. Karen called it fair.