Chapter 1

The air in Austin always felt thick with music, especially when The Night Howlers played.

I was sixteen, and Jax Harding was twenty-two.

He was my older brother Ben' s best friend, the lead guitarist.

Charismatic, a little distant.

I had a massive crush on him.

It wasn't just a crush; it felt like my whole world tilted when he was near.

I baked cookies for their rehearsals, the ones with extra chocolate chips, just how Jax liked them.

I drew their early gig posters, my pencil strokes filled with a longing I didn't know how to name.

I knew every lyric to every song he' d ever written.

My eighteenth birthday.

I was a high school senior, my art school applications mailed, dreams of New York City buzzing in my head.

But that night, only Austin mattered, only The Continental Club where The Night Howlers were tearing up the stage.

Ben snuck me a sip of champagne backstage after their set.

It tasted like rebellion and courage.

Enough courage to find Jax, his dark hair damp with sweat, a half-smile playing on his lips as he talked to a roadie.

My heart hammered.

"Jax?"

He turned, that cool gaze landing on me.

"Hey, Savvy. Happy birthday, kid."

The words tumbled out, a clumsy, heartfelt rush. "I really like you, Jax. I have for years."

Then, fueled by champagne and years of pent-up hope, I leaned in and kissed him.

It was quick, probably awkward.

He didn't pull away, but he didn't kiss me back either.

When I drew back, cheeks burning, he was looking at me with an amused, slightly surprised expression.

He ruffled my hair, a gesture that felt both kind and dismissive.

"You're still a kid, Savvy."

My heart sank.

"But hey," he continued, a lazy drawl in his voice, a little slurred from the beer he was nursing. "When you graduate college and you're, like, twenty-two, if you still feel this way... maybe I'll finally be ready to settle down with a good girl. We'll see."

He said it lightly, almost like a joke.

But I grabbed onto those words like a lifeline.

Twenty-two. It sounded like a promise.

Four years.

I got into Pratt, graphic design.

New York City swallowed me whole, a whirlwind of classes, projects, and a constant, dull ache for Austin, for Jax.

His "promise" became my secret timeline.

I followed The Night Howlers' modest success from afar, their songs a soundtrack to my late-night study sessions.

I meticulously planned for my twenty-second birthday.

It wasn' t just a birthday; it was a deadline, a doorway.

I even designed a mock-up album cover, a visual representation of the future I imagined for us.

Silly, I knew, but it felt important. A gift for him.

Twenty-two.

The day finally arrived.

The Night Howlers were in New York for a small industry showcase, a chance to get signed.

My hands trembled as I clutched the "album cover" gift, wrapped carefully in plain brown paper.

They were having a pre-show meeting at a trendy bar on the Lower East Side.

I got there early, too eager, too nervous.

The bar was dimly lit, smelling of stale beer and new ambitions.

I spotted them in a semi-private booth near the back – Jax, Ben, the other bandmates.

And a woman I didn' t recognize, sharp-looking, leaning close to Jax.

I hesitated, not wanting to interrupt.

Then I heard Jax' s voice, low and complaining.

"Man, I can't believe Savvy's actually showing up. She' s still hung up on that stupid thing I said years ago."

My blood ran cold.

Another bandmate, their drummer, chimed in. "Dude, you gotta shut that down. Chloe's gonna flip if she thinks you're leading on some college kid."

Chloe. That must be the woman.

Jax sighed. "I know, I know. That's the plan."

His voice dropped a little, but I could still hear every venomous word.

"Chloe Davenport, she' s our publicist, or trying to be. We're trying to impress her. She' s helping me stage a whole thing. I told her I needed a 'crazy fan' intervention."

A laugh, cold and cruel.

"We' re gonna tell Savvy I' m engaged to Chloe, maybe even hint she' s pregnant. That should scare her off for good. Plus, Chloe thinks it'll make for a good 'settled rockstar' PR angle if we do get signed."

Ben. My brother. He sounded uncomfortable, a mumbled protest.

"Jax, man, that's harsh."

But he didn't push. Band peace, I guess. Or maybe he just didn't care enough.

The world tilted, not with a crush, but with nausea.

Devastation crashed over me, a physical blow.

The "album cover," my carefully crafted dream, slipped from my numb fingers.

It hit the sticky floor with a soft thud.

I turned and fled, out of the bar, into the sudden, cold New York rain.

Each drop felt like a tiny shard of ice against my skin.

The rain plastered my hair to my face, blurring the city lights into meaningless streaks.

My mind reeled back, a stupid, painful reflex.

Years ago, a local music festival, a smaller version of SXSW. I was maybe fifteen, definitely too young to be backstage, but Ben had snuck me in.

The Night Howlers were just starting out, raw and hungry.

Chaos. Roadies yelling, equipment everywhere.

A heavy piece of stage lighting, precariously balanced, started to wobble.

I was right under it, mesmerized by Jax on stage during soundcheck.

Suddenly, strong hands grabbed my arm, yanking me back.

Jax.

He' d leaped off the low stage, his eyes wide with alarm.

The equipment crashed where I' d been standing a second before.

"You okay?" he' d asked, his voice rough.

I could only nod, heart pounding.

He' d pressed something into my palm. His lucky guitar pick.

"Stay out of trouble, kid."

That was it. The moment my silly crush solidified into something I thought was real, something worth waiting for.

That pick. I' d kept it in a little velvet box.

Now, the memory itself felt like a betrayal.

All those years.

The cookies, the posters, the late nights listening to their demos.

The way I' d structured my college life, my move to New York, all with that one distant, careless "maybe" from him as my North Star.

Every sacrifice, every choice, tinged with the hope of him.

His words echoed, "Can't believe she's still hung up."

A burden. That' s what I was.

My love wasn' t a gift; it was an annoyance, a problem to be managed with a cruel, staged lie.

A new path. I had to find one. Away from him, away from this.

The thought was a tiny, flickering candle in the storm of my pain.

I fumbled for my phone, my fingers stiff and cold.

I needed to talk to Ben, to scream, to understand.

But what was there to understand?

Ben had been there. He' d heard Jax' s plan. His silence in that booth was a confirmation louder than any words.

He knew Jax was serious about Chloe. He knew Jax was going to break my heart, and he' d let it happen.

Maybe he even agreed with Jax. Maybe I was just the annoying little sister.

A text message pinged.

Unknown number, but my stomach lurched. I knew.

It was Jax.

"Heard you were at the bar. Sorry if you overheard stuff. Things with Chloe are serious. Best you move on."

Not an apology. A dismissal.

My carefully constructed fantasy life shattered into a million pieces.

Move on.

Yes.

I scrolled through my contacts, found Jax' s number, the one I knew by heart.

Blocked.

Then Ben' s.

Blocked.

I stumbled into my tiny apartment, dripping water onto the worn wooden floor.

My eyes fell on the small velvet box on my dresser.

The lucky guitar pick.

I picked it up. It felt cold, alien in my hand.

A symbol of a lie.

With a sudden, sharp movement, I threw it into the trash can, burying it under discarded sketches and coffee grounds.

The first step.