Chapter 5 I want to be free

I stared at him in disbelief, my heart racing and my mind churning with a flood of emotions that I struggled to articulate. A wave of familiarity washed over me, bringing with it a deep sense of dread.

"No, I can't do this," I whispered, my voice trembling slightly as the words left my lips. It felt as if I were stepping into a shadowy echo of the past, reminiscent of that painful moment when everything had first fallen apart.

"He won't be any different from Damien," I thought bitterly, memories flooding my mind like an unwelcome tide-too painful and sharp to linger on. Images of betrayal and heartbreak pierced through my consciousness, forcing me to confront the anguish I had tried so hard to bury.

"I mean every word I say to you," he insisted, his gaze steady, earnest, and unyielding. I could see the sincerity in his eyes, but it only deepened the conflict within me. "I don't care about the world, the power, or any of that. Just stay with me, and I'll protect you with everything I have."

The intensity of his words sent a shiver down my spine, and I instinctively recoiled, drawing my hand away from his grasp as though it had burned me.

"No, this can't be happening; I refuse to be delusional again," I said, shaking my head defiantly. I felt the remnants of naïveté clinging to me like an unwelcome shroud, remnants of a past that had led me to this very moment of vulnerability.

He chuckled softly, but there was an underlying edge to it, a hint of frustration that made my chest tighten. "What can I do to make you believe me?"

"Nothing," I shot back, my tone harsh and unyielding. "I don't want any of this." The words tasted bitter, laced with the wounds of my previous experiences.

"I want to leave. Let me go," I declared firmly, planting my feet with a sense of determination that felt almost desperate. I locked my gaze with his, trying to ground myself against the chaos that surged around us.

"This is what they all say," I reminded myself, a mantra echoing painfully in the back of my mind. "I can't fall for it. No, I won't fall for it-not after what Damien had done." The name alone warped my insides, stirring a cauldron of bitterness that churned violently.

Bitterness swelled within me as memories of Damien cut like a knife. I had been a mere tool in his eyes, a means to an end. To him, wedding vows had been as empty as a husk, devoid of any meaning or depth.

"I can't let myself be cast aside again when he tires of me, just like he did," I thought grimly. The relentless visualization of that betrayal haunted me, a specter that whispered of my impending doom. "He'll deem me a burden, a liability, and discard me without so much as a second thought."

The mere thought of Damien squeezed my heart painfully, a visceral ache settling deep within me, threatening to steal my breath away. "After everything I sacrificed for him, this is how he repays me," I mused, weighed down by the sting of resentment.

"And where would you go if I let you go?" he asked suddenly, a question that cut through my spiral of thoughts like a knife. His voice was steady, holding a hint of challenge, forcing me to confront the reality I had been trying to escape. "Do you really think they won't come for you again once you leave here?"

His question jolted me back to the present, and I looked up, locking my gaze with his. "And do you think staying here is the best option for me?" I demanded, a mixture of defiance and fear overtaking my voice, though I struggled to maintain eye contact as a tempest of uncertainty brewed within me.

"I don't think it-I know it," he replied, taking a step closer, the heat of his presence overwhelming me. It was an intensity that felt both protective and suffocating at the same time.

Instinctively, I took a step back, a reflexive action that earned me a low chuckle from him, almost teasing in its nature.

"There's no safer place for you than here, with me by your side," he asserted with confidence, each word a dip into the well of my resolve. "I'll protect you, I swear it. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Why?" I blurted out, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Because I want to protect you," he said earnestly, his serious tone devoid of humor, leaving no room for sarcasm or doubt. His eyes held a depth that I couldn't quite decipher, a complexity that both intrigued and terrified me.

"I shouldn't have backed down from you before," he muttered almost to himself, a hint of regret weaved through his voice, and it stirred up an unfamiliar sense of curiosity within me.

Confusion swirled relentlessly in my mind. "Why does he want to make this so difficult for me?" I wondered, feeling as though I was trapped in a web of tangled emotions.

"Do you really think you'll be any different from him?" I pressed, searching for reassurance that this time would not lead to another trap disguised as safety.

"I appreciate you for saving me," I finally acknowledged, my voice firm and unwavering, though doubt crept into the margins of every word. "But I think that's enough. Just let me go."

He smiled at me then, and the expression sent a chill racing down my spine, momentarily shifting the atmosphere around us. "Where would you go if you left here?"

"None of your business," I snapped angrily, irritation flaring within me like a wildfire.

"Would you go back to him?" he probed coldly, his voice slicing through the air with icy precision. "Do you think he won't take you back there?"

As he stepped closer, the warmth that had briefly suffused the conversation evaporated, replaced by an oppressive chill that hung over us. His easy smile faded, replaced by a coldness that radiated from him, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"Selene sends fear through my body," I thought, dread pooling ominously in my stomach.

"I wasn't joking when I said you belong to me," he stated so matter-of-factly that it sent a shiver of uncertainty coursing through me, an unsettling cold that coiled around my spine.

"I'm giving you an option here," he muttered, his voice now icy and resolved.

"Why?" It was all I could managed to ask, the word hanging in the air, my curiosity mingling with a knot of anxiety.

"Because I don't know what else to say," he replied, his playful tone now absent, leaving a strange emptiness in its place.

He chuckled again, but it came off hollow, lacking the warmth it once held. "It's for your own good," he insisted, yet I could sense the growing edge in his words.

"This is no different; it's just a cage," I declared angrily, my heart pounding furiously against my ribcage. "You're no better than the people who want me for themselves." I felt justified in my rage, even as it threatened to engulf me.

He merely smiled slightly, amusement flickering in his eyes like a flame coaxed by the wind, only fueling my frustration further.

"I'll send someone to attend to you," he said, turning on his heel, his gaze steady as he walked away.

"You can't cage me here!" I shouted after him, my voice rising in pitch, desperation threading through my words. "You can't force me to stay. I don't want this."

"Just let me go!" I yelled again, pouring all my frustration and hopelessness into those words, feeling it echo in the stillness that followed.

But it seemed to fall on deaf ears, as he ignored my pleas and disappeared from the room, leaving me alone with my spiraling thoughts. The silence that enveloped me felt heavier than before, and I sighed helplessly, the weight of despair pressing down relentlessly upon my chest.