Chapter 6 Tainted Passion

Camilla POV

As I wake up, suddenly I find my body drenched with sweat while the sound of crackling fire continues to burn in my mind's eye. I sit up on the narrow bed of the cabin with the flavour of smoke and ash lingering on my tongue. I place my hands against the coarse wooden boards to anchor myself firmly in the present moment. The moonlight pours into the room through window cracks, creating a silver and shadow tapestry.

As ragged breaths labour my chest, I toss the blanket away as if it could choke me. I stand up with quivering legs as my muscles hold onto the haunting presence of past agony. While my skin shows no signs of injury today, I vividly remember the burn marks on my arms with my fingertips. The spirit of that night presses in too intimately.

I walk toward the window to look at the moon, whose cool illumination transforms the night into a serene spectacle. The glass reveals my image with eyes that show madness and a heart burdened by sorrow. My throat constricts as my dual identities converge to suffocate me. The taste of vengeance fills my mouth with sharp bitterness.

The packhouse corridors remain deserted and quiet, yet Lucien's voice echoes through the walls. I put my ear against the wooden surface to detect brief moments of panic and worry. His name, spoken gently by the elder, makes my heart contort. Desire and dread clash in my chest.

Moving away from the door, I walk back and forth in the confined space as every footfall resonates in the quiet. I keep seeing Lucien fall to the ground while his fur becomes stained with dirt and blood. An uncontrollable power surge erupted within me and threatened to break free from my grasp. My body trembles at the memory of nearly displaying my full power.

I stop beside the small table and grip its edge until my knuckles turn starkly white with tension. The wooden table provides cool comfort to my fingertips while I inhale its stable strength. I promise myself to remain tranquil while hiding my secret behind an impenetrable facade. The longing I feel for him and our lost time tears apart the strength of my will.

The night's silence shatters with a gentle knock at the door while my heart beats wildly like an imprisoned bird. Fear and longing fight for dominance in my mind before I ask a quiet "Who is it?" When Lucien responds, his voice is urgent yet unmistakable. As I partially open the door, my heartbeat thunders in my chest.

The hallway glows with moonlight where Lucien stands, his face smeared with ash, while his eyes reveal deep concern. His lips move as though he wants to speak, but then they close back together in anguish. I step back, making way for him to enter, even as my heart desperately wants to run into his embrace. He steps inside and gently shuts the door after him.

His proximity is so close that I can sense his body heat against mine. I force myself to look downward and swallow as we both wait for words that remain unknown to us. As the bedside candle flickers its light, it creates moving shadows across his face. The air carries a powerful sense of old longing that I can taste.

Lucien finally speaks with a raw voice, asking, "Are you all right?" The concern in his tone sends a shocking wave of uncertain emotion through me. I give a small nod while my voice feels constrained as I reveal my dream about the fire.

He moves toward me with careful steps and rests a tender hand on my shoulder. A sudden grip on my breath brings back memories of warmth and safety that overwhelm my senses. Standing stiff in my body, I battle against the inclination to move closer to him. The strain to remain apart causes pain throughout my ribs.

He steps back momentarily as he looks into my eyes like he's reading lines from past pain. My eyes catch the smudge on his cheek before I reach up to wipe it off. When I touch him, his jaw clenches, and I sense an illicit charge. I drop my hand and step back.

The quiet admission from Lucien that he made a mistake by leaving me ignites unexpected flames within me. I nod reluctantly and say, "It's over now." The lie leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

He stiffens and walks back and forth across the floor while his restlessness and tension build. His back captures my gaze as each contour reveals his deep regret. Trembling fingers traced those lines in my memory. My heart feels torn between my hatred and my longing.

The sound of a soft groan travels down the hallway, which causes Lucien to quickly lift his head. With haste, he reaches the door before quickly exiting to call for the pack's healer. My cloak follows behind me as I am pulled forward by his pressing need. The torches in brackets provide the only light in completely deserted corridors.

In the main hall, we find wolves circling a fallen pack member. Lucien positions himself beside the injured wolf and applies his touch with a blend of gentleness and confidence. His raw care for his kin surprises me and causes my breath to catch. My hands extend my cloak to envelop the wounded wolf.

His eyes reveal both astonishment and thankfulness when he raises his gaze. I produce a subtle smile before retreating into the darkness. He resumes reading the instructions for the healing salve from the aged scroll. His hands move with practised ease through the procedure, and my heart feels a mix of pride and sorrow.

The wolf awakens, and Lucien rises to speak to the assembled pack using a composed yet powerful voice. I remain in the background because I feel simultaneously included in and separated from the group he guides. The elder advances to express his gratitude with a firm voice while nodding. I bow my head while warmth spreads through my chest.

Looking across the hall at me, Lucien holds my stare with eyes that radiate both tenderness and pain. I manage a courteous nod while keeping my inner turmoil hidden. As he faces his pack again, I quietly exit through the open door into the cool night air. Bright moonlight shines above the roof of the packhouse.

Quiet footsteps guide me through the courtyard while my mind remains elsewhere. I find my thoughts dwelling repeatedly on every intense exchange during training and confession while feeling the blaze of past love mixed with new remorse. I stopped at the oak tree where we became mates for the first time. My palm feels the rough and scarred texture of the bark.

My forehead presses against the trunk while I breathe in the pine-scented air, and tears stream down my cheeks on their own. Coming from behind me, a deep growl causes me to raise my head. Lucien emerges into the moonlight with a focused expression that leaves me speechless. My heart stutters at his sudden closeness.

His fingertips gently sweep across the tears on my cheek. The heat from his touch takes my breath away as the warmth spreads through my bones. My eyes shut as I briefly lean into him. The moment I open my eyes, he disappears into the darkness.

I stumble backwards with shallow breathing while my thoughts whirl from his proximity to his disappearance. The courtyard stands vacant as it resonates with unfulfilled commitments. His touch left my skin tingling and served as a stark warning about the risks associated with our connection. I begin to move toward the cabin when a gentle voice holds me back.

Under the torchlight, I discover the elder standing before me after I spin around to see who called out "Camilla". He advances toward me with solemn eyes. I steady my stance, placing my hand on my cloak as I prepare for his judgment. His voice barely audible, he tells me to consult with the council at first light.

The elder extends a clay token bearing the council's mark while confusion twists through my stomach. The torchlight moves gracefully across the surface, which feels both cold and commanding. The token lies heavy in my hand while its weight drives urgency into my bones. The realisation hits me that my journey now involves others because I cannot control where it leads.

The oak tree beside me trembles from a brisk wind while the moon emerges from a cloud. My gaze lifts skyward while I remain trapped between untouchable tomorrows. Moonlight fills the courtyard while the token's emblem emits a strange blue fire, and Lucien's voice reaches me crystal clear: "They know your secret."