Chapter 3 Eyes of Guilt

Camilla's Point of View

The door shook again, and there was a low, mean growl outside. I held the knife so tightly that my knuckles hurt. I held my breath and leaned against the wall, ready for the wolf to come through. The wood made a noise and then stopped. Keep quiet. My ears hurt as I moved closer to the door. Nothing. It is just the wind howling through the foggy forest outside.

I looked through the doorway crack. There is no shadow and no paws. It was out of sight, whatever it was. Even though my heart was still beating like a drum, I forced myself to calm down. I was not going to let fear stop me. Shadows are not where I came to hide. I came here to make Lucien pay. I sat on the bed with my hands shaking and put the knife back under my pillow. I was not going to sleep tonight.

Grey and dim morning light crept in through the window. When I stood up, my boots hit the wood floor hard. There were no scratches on the door, and there was no sign of a wolf. Maybe I made it up. In my heart, I knew I didn't. I felt like someone or something was watching me.

I wore my cloak tight against the cold as I walked to the village square. People with buckets of water and baskets of bread were already up. In the still morning, kids ran around and chased each other, making a lot of noise. I kept my head down to blend in, but I looked at everyone with wide eyes. Last night, who was outside? Is it true that they know my name is Mira?

The packhouse was in front of them, with its big wooden doors wide open. There was a tall guard at the gate talking to Lucien while he stood by a table inside. I found out that his name was Torren. With his spear against the wall, he looked very serious. His face was tight, and he had his hands in his pockets. Not the Alpha I used to know, he did not look like one. The Lucien I loved was tall, and his eyes were full of strength. Lucien in this picture looked like he was carrying a mountain.

I sneaked in and stayed near the back. While most people were busy with their work, a few people nodded at me. I sat on a bench and listened while pretending to tie my shoes. When Torren talked about patrols, he brought up tracks in the forest. My stomach turned. Tracks. Were they mine? Or the wolf from the night before?

Lucien said yes, but his voice was low. He told them to do twice as many patrols tonight. "We can not risk it." Torren gave a nod and then walked away, his spear clanking. Lucien stayed where he was and stared at the table, running his fingers along a carved wolf head. The look in his eyes made him look like he was deep in thought.

I meant to stay away by walking away, but my feet moved before I could stop them. I got up and walked over to him. My heart was beating fast and telling me to stop and follow my plan. I had to know why he looked so broken, though. I wanted to know if he was sure I was cursed.

"Hey," I said, but I forgot to raise my voice. I saw shock in his dark eyes as he looked up at me. I forgot how to breathe for a second. Those were the same eyes that looked at me like I was the only thing in the world to him.

His voice was rough as he said, "Mira." "What do you need?"

I tried to look calm and shrugged. "Thanks for everything." Thanks for letting me stay.

He looked back at the table and nodded. "It is not important." There are times when we take in travellers. But it seemed like every word was hard for him to say because his voice was heavy.

My hands were sweaty as I leaned against the table. "Are you okay?" I asked, even though I did not want to. "You seem... sad."

His eyes got narrow and his head snapped up. I was afraid I said too much, so I stopped. His face then turned soft, and he let out a sigh. He said, "It is just... old memories." "There are a lot of them here."

I wanted to know more about those memories, the grave the women talked about, and myself. But I kept quiet and bit my lip. I was not able to tell him who I was. Not yet.

He asked out of the blue, "Want to walk?" "I need to breathe."

I was shocked and blinked. My voice was shaking as I said, "Sure." As we walked out of the packhouse next to each other, the cold air bit my cheeks. People were now cutting down trees and carrying water around the village. Lucien walked slowly and kept his hands in his pockets as if he did not want to hurry.

The two women from yesterday were still washing clothes in the well as we walked by. They spoke quietly as they looked at us. I heard "her grave" and "poor Lucien" again. Even though my chest hurt, I kept walking and kept a straight face.

Luis showed me a way into the forest that wound around. It was misty outside, and the trees were tall. I stayed alert and ran my hand over the knife that was hidden in my cloak. I would be ready if that wolf came back.

"Do you ever feel like you have been here before?" Clare asked in a low voice. He was not looking at me; he was looking straight ahead.

My heart skipped a beat. I slowly said, "Sometimes." "Places can feel... at home."

He kicked a rock and nodded. "That is how this forest feels." It is like holding on to someone I lost. His voice broke, and he stopped moving. His shoulders sagged.

I was ready to scream at him and ask him why he let me burn and believed the lies. As I stood there, my hands clenched as I fought the urge to touch him. I asked in a whisper, "Who did you lose?"

When he looked at me, his eyes were so painful that I almost took a step back. He said, "Someone I loved." "Someone I let down."

It hurt my throat. That it was me, that I was here, and that I hated him when I died, but still loved him. I tried but failed. Not yet. To act like I was studying the trees, I turned my head away. "I am sorry," I said, but the words hurt.

He shrugged and got up to walk again. "That was a long time ago." "I can not change it." He did not believe that, though, as his voice showed. That pain was like a chain around his neck.

When we got to a small clearing, the ground was soft with moss. In the middle, there was a big tree with initials carved into its trunk. AKA my initials. His initials. C and L joined together. I stopped and stared at it for a moment. I remembered laughing with him under this tree and making a promise to always be with him.

He too stopped and looked at the tree. His voice was so soft that I could barely hear him say, "She loved this place." "This is where we used to sit and talk." I sometimes go back to her in the hopes that she will forgive me.

I blinked away tears that hurt my eyes. It made me want to yell at him that I was here and that I was not sure I could forgive him. But I did not say anything because I was afraid and angry.

I turned away and said, "Let us go back." I was tired of looking at that tree. It hurt too much.

As we walked back, the fog got thicker and wrapped itself around us like a blanket. Elin ran up to us when we got to the village. Her braid was frizzing. She yelled, "Mira! Lucien!" while holding up a shiny rock. "Look what I found!"

While I looked at it on my knees, I smiled. I stroked her hair and said, "It is pretty." He looked at us with a soft face, like he was seeing something he had not seen before. I forgot I was Mira for a moment and felt like Camilla again. Like we were a family. It hurt my heart to think about it.

Lucien said as he walked towards the packhouse, "See you at dinner." My chest hurt as I watched him leave. It hurt so much that I wanted to follow him, ask him everything, and hold him. But I had a plan. I had to do what I said.

In the packhouse that night, I ate my stew while sitting at the long table. Elin sat next to me and talked about her rocks. Again, Lucien was at the head. He was quiet and his eyes were far away. I found out that the woman with grey hair's name was Marta. She sat across from me and looked at me with those sharp eyes. I thought she could see right through my mask.

I went back to my room after dinner with a lot on my mind. What else did I need to know about the council and the lies they told Lucien? I had to see proof. As I lay on the bed and looked up at the ceiling, I heard a soft scratch at the window. My heart jumped. I sneaked up to the window with my knife and peered out.

A pair of bright yellow eyes looked back at me through the fog. Not a person. Wolf. It was the same low growl from last night, and it made my blood run cold. I saw something worse as the wolf got closer, its teeth bared. Behind it, there was a shadow of a person holding a bow and an arrow aimed right at my heart.