Chapter 5 Saints and Sinners 4

Keeley

I blinked at the crudeness of his words. There was no doubt in my mind what he meant by them, and even if there was, the way his eyes flicked down to my lips with a look that could only be described as hungry would have told me.

This wasn't the Gio I knew.

I snapped my mouth shut, forcing myself to breathe normally. It was hard. His words, his very closeness had a physical effect on my body. And it wasn't fear. No, even after my rape, Gio had been the one I clung to. I had always felt safe with him, even when everyone told me I shouldn't. I had always been attracted to him as well and that hadn't changed by the looks of it.

Gio was dangerous. He had been dangerous five years ago when he took over The Family and the years had only made him more so. I licked at my suddenly dry lips and his brooding eyes followed the movement.

Normally those eyes were a bright blue, but they darkened as he looked at me, his gaze unblinking. I squirmed. Him looking at me like that was nothing but trouble. Not because he was dangerous to me, although he was a dangerous man, but because I liked it.

I liked it more than was going to be good for me.

Gio coming back into my life was a complication that I didn't need. Which meant if I had any hope of him letting me live my life, I had to curb the attitude and behave.

"You look like you want to kiss me," I said without thinking, cursing myself the moment the words left my mouth. Only a second before I had been telling myself to behave and the next moment I had opened my mouth and said the first thing I had been thinking. What would I do if he kissed me? No man had touched me since that night. And I couldn't count the hug as touching. I sure as hell hadn't been kissed. The one time someone had tried, I had freaked out. It had been my one and only attempt at dating since my attack.

"Kiss you?" Gio's fingers pressed down on my bottom lip, pinching it and pulling it away from my teeth. "Would you like that, Keeley? Would you like me to kiss you?"

Yes, I wanted to scream, and no. I didn't know what the hell I wanted anymore. Five minutes back in his presence and he had me so bewildered that it hurt my brain.

Gio stepped away, his back straightening. He ran his hand through his dark hair. "Fuck." He swore some more in Italian, speaking so fast that I couldn't follow what he was saying. I watched as he sucked in several breaths, his shoulders rising and falling. When he turned back to me, he seemed composed, but the heat was still in his eyes. It matched the heat that was pooling between my thighs.

"Are you ready to talk like an adult now, Keeley?"

His words took me by surprise. I blinked at him slowly before nodding. The moment had passed. I wasn't even sure that I hadn't imagined it in the first place. But no, I could still feel his fingers around my throat, I could smell his cinnamon scented breath against my face.

Absently, I rubbed at my skin.

"Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head. No, he hadn't hurt me. I hadn't even really been afraid. Not of his hand around my neck anyway.

"Shit, your throat is red." He fell to his knees; his hands reached for me and froze before he touched my skin. "I can't trust myself to touch you, Keeley. I didn't mean to lay my hands on you. I never want you to think that I am..."

"Enough," I snapped. He was going to start talking about that night and I couldn't bear it. I had a hard enough time putting my past behind me as it was. I didn't need him to bring it up. I didn't want or need his sympathy about something that had happened to my body. "I don't want to talk about that. The past isn't where I live anymore, Gio."

The fierceness of my last words rocked him back on to his heels. "Is that the reason you never came home, Keeley? Why you never thought once about picking up the phone? Because we are your past and you are done with us?"

I didn't answer him at first and then with a sigh, I let all the anger out in one long drawn-out breath. "Yes, Gio, is that what you want to hear? It was too painful. To be around you all." And maybe you most of all, I added silently. I knew he had cared for me in his own way. He idolised me, made me into some Madonna. "I couldn't stand the pity in your eyes."

"I never looked at you with pity."

I wanted to argue that he was looking at me with pity right then, but I kept my mouth shut. I wanted this over so I could go home and sleep. I was tired after having an exhausting day and being with him again was draining the last of my energy.

"I'm glad you are well, Gio, but can we wrap this up or do it tomorrow when I have slept?"

"We have barely started talking, Keeley. There is a lot to catch up on." He smiled so suddenly that I did a double take. "And I think a nice friendly talk over dinner would be good, don't you?"

"Gio," I groaned. "It's past midnight, I am tired...not to mention I am not dressed to go out for dinner."

"Then we will stay home, and I will order in." Tugging on my hands, he pulled me to my feet. I half expected him to encircle me in his arms but he didn't. "You have lost weight, Keeley. You need feeding."

I laughed before I could stop myself. No one had ever said I needed feeding up before. "Arguing is useless, isn't it?"

He winked. "Yes."

"Then lead the way and feed me, Gio."

***

His kitchen was huge, bigger than my whole apartment and I couldn't help but stare at it in wonder. I liked to cook, hell, once upon a time I had loved to cook. It had been my dream to train professionally and not just in the grungy diner I managed for my cousin.

Running my hand over the marble countertops, I smiled.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "But it doesn't look like it's ever been used." I turned to him as he heaved himself up onto the cabinet. His eyes tracked my every movement.

"It doesn't get used. I don't cook."

"But a kitchen like this..." I stammered. "It should be full of delicious smells and laughter. It should be full of life."

Gio's dark eyebrows quirked upwards. "Then you need to come and cook for me. You fill this kitchen with laughter and delicious smells." Jumping off the cabinet, he stalked towards me. Heat flooded my cheeks as I backed up. "I could make it worth your while, Keeley. Come and cook for me every day and let me..."

"No." I stepped away from him. "No, Gio. I have already told you I won't live on your hand outs. That's not who I am anymore. I would rather starve than take a single penny off you, I would..." I shuddered. My pride was going to get me into trouble. But I refused to go backwards. Even if Gio's offer was coming from a good place, it wouldn't end that way. He didn't need my cooking. He could afford the best chefs. The job he was offering me was charity. Nothing more.

Because in his eyes I was the same Keeley he had once known. The one who needed looking after.

"I should go home."

"Keeley, just eat with me. At least that way I know you have eaten today."

And there It was, the proof. "No Gio, this meeting is over. Either get one of your goons to drop me home or I will walk. But I am leaving."