Chapter 9 You Fed

By morning I could still smell it-the blood, the forest, the heat of the chase.

I hadn't left the woods until late last night.

The moment I started, I couldn't stop.

The first bite was clumsy-hesitant.

The deer had thrashed under me, wild and terrified until my grip tightened, instinct surging.

It was like falling into the water. Warm. Deep. Endless.

The taste overwhelmed me-rich and electric.

Every nerve lit up like it had been asleep until that moment.

I didn't remember letting go. I just remembered standing over their bodies, shaking, blood on my lips.

I sucked two whole deer dry.

I thought I'd feel disgusted. Guilty.

But I didn't.

What I felt was... alive. More than that-powerful. Like my bones had finally remembered what they were made for.

What terrified me most was knowing that was nothing compared to human blood.

And that scared me more than anything.

Because if animal blood could do this-what would human blood feel like?

What would Aiden taste like?

Would I stop at just a taste? Or would I lose control completely? Drain him dry and not regret it until it was too late?

A sharp knock on my bedroom door snapped me out of the spiral.

"Sebastian's waiting downstairs, honey," Mom called, her tone light like she hadn't just reminded me of the one person I wasn't ready to face.

Well, his father might have told him already. I guessed as much.

The Regent hadn't stayed to watch me feed. The moment the deer was in my hands, he simply said, "You know what to do," and vanished.

Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that he had been watching-from a distance, hidden, silent. Judging.

I waited a few beats, listening to Mom's footsteps fade before going straight into went straight to the bathroom.

Turned the water on hot, almost scalding-and stripped off the clothes that still smelled like earth and blood.

The tub filled slowly, steam curling up like breath in cold air. I slid in and let the heat wash over me.

My limbs ached in the strange way they did after feeding. Not tired exactly. Just... used. Like every muscle had been lit up and now needed to dim down again.

I leaned back, eyes closing, trying not to think. Not of deer. Not of Aiden. Not of what I could become.

But of course, I did.

The look on his face when I kissed his neck. The warmth of his skin under my mouth.

I sank lower into the water until only my face was above the surface.

Eventually, I stood, towel-wrapped and dripping, and looked at myself in the mirror. My skin glowed too pale. My eyes are too sharp. The kind of reflection you half-recognize and half-want to run from.

Sebastian was still waiting downstairs.

And part of me wondered if he'd be able to tell what I'd done. Or worse-if he already did. And understood exactly what it meant.

I dressed fast-dark jeans, hoodie, hair still damp from the bath and clinging to my neck. The daylight amulet pulsed faintly against my chest, warm like a second heartbeat.

Just enough to keep the sun from killing me. Not enough to make me feel human.

Sebastian's eyes flicked up as soon as I entered the living room. That cold-silver stare. Too observant for my comfort.

"Took your time," he said.

I didn't answer. Shielding as hard as I could.

He looked at me a second longer than he needed to. His gaze dipped, briefly to my neck, where the towel had rubbed my skin raw. I wondered if he could smell the blood. Or sense what I'd done in the woods.

If he did, he didn't say anything. Just pushed open the door.

"Let's go."

We walked in silence for a while. Every now and then, I felt his eyes flick toward me, but he kept whatever he was thinking to himself.

I didn't ask. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"You left the party in a hurry the other day," he finally spoke.

I didn't look at him. "Yeah. Got tired."

He hummed softly, like he didn't buy it but wasn't ready to challenge it, yet. "You seemed fine. Until you weren't."

I bit the inside of my cheek, eyes fixed ahead. The memory flickered behind my eyes, the taste of Aiden's skin, the pulse beneath his neck, the way it nearly undid me.

"It was just a long day," I said, too calmly.

"What about Ash. Heard he provoked you."

"Typical high school boys," I said with a shrug, trying to keep my voice level, dismissive.

"Sure," Sebastian said, slow and deliberate.

"He grabbed me," I tried to sound casual, unaffected. "I reacted. No one got hurt."

He let that sit. A crow called from somewhere above us, a harsh sound that cut through the air like a warning.

Then his voice came, low and firm. "You fed."

It wasn't a question. It was certainly wrapped in calm.

I stopped walking. He did too, a step ahead, turning to face me with unreadable eyes.

"Who told you?" I asked.

"No one had to," he replied simply. "I can feel it."

A chill ran up my spine. "Stop fucking reading me, Sebastian," I snapped, irritation rising in my chest. "I'm not a book you get to flip through whenever you want."

I turned and walked ahead, jaw tight, hoping the conversation would die there.

But he caught up fast. His hand closed gently but firmly around my arm, pulling me to a stop.

"I didn't read you," he said calmly. "Your shield's changed. It's thicker now. That only happens after feeding. That's how I knew."

I yanked my arm free, heat flaring in my chest.

"Okay? So what now?" I snapped. "You want to throw a feast in honor of Aliyah's first deer blood? Maybe light a few candles? Say a prayer?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but I cut him off before he could.

"I don't know how you people do it here in Ravenshollow," I said, words coming sharper than I meant. "But where I come from, vampires don't poke around in each other's blood business. We stay out of each other's way."

I took a step back.

"Just let me be."

Sebastian didn't flinch. Didn't even blink. He stood there like a stone, calm in a way that only made me feel more exposed.

"You're changing," he said, after a beat. "That's not a bad thing, Noah. It's supposed to happen. I'm not here to shame you for it."

His tone wasn't condescending. It was... quiet. Careful.

"It's not a real feed yet," he added after a beat, softer now. "But... I wish I'd been there."

That part made me freeze. Something about the way he said it-low, genuine, almost wistful. Not out of control. Not hungry. Just... honest.

"Why?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I don't know. I'm drawn to you," Sebastian said. "And no one should have to go through that alone."

I looked at him-really looked. The sharp lines of his jaw, the hint of something old for his teenage frame behind his eyes.

"I wasn't alone," I said, quieter now. "The Regent gave me the deer. He left right after."

Sebastian's expression shifted. Barely, but I caught it. "So he beat me to it."

There was a pause, then, "Do you regret it?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Feeding. Even if it wasn't on a person." His eyes searched mine. "Did it scare you?"

I hesitated. "No," I said slowly. "What scared me was how easy it was. How much I liked it. And how... much more I wanted."

He nodded once. "That's normal."

I raised an eyebrow. "So we're just supposed to be okay with this hunger?"

"No. We're supposed to learn how to live with it," he said. "And some of us spend centuries trying."

"Are you still trying?"

A hint of a smile touched his mouth, but he didn't answer. The wind rose between us, threading through the trees, catching my hair, and sending it across my face like a veil.

I turned toward the school. Something warm stirred in my chest. Strange. Unfamiliar. A little dangerous

"Let's go," I said, my voice quieter than I intended.

We walked again, slower this time. Something unspoken moved with us, like a shadow just beyond reach. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't.

The school came into view, looming gray and familiar against the cloudy morning sky. A few students lingered near the entrance, their laughter softening as they caught sight of us.

I felt their eyes curious, confused, maybe even a little alarmed-but no one said anything. No one dared to ask why I was walking beside Sebastian Ford.

Sebastian didn't speak again. He just stayed beside me, like a quiet promise.

And for the first time in a while, I let someone walk with me without pushing them away.