Chapter 2 I Must Go

Mira Ashford's POV

Life never gave me a choice. It always pushed me toward what's hard-what I can't bear. Every time, I was forced to face things I had no power over. Since I was a child, I tried to tell them I'm not what they think-that I'm not the one to blame-but all my efforts were in vain.

There was no use. They accused me because my mother died. They never knew a mother's kindness, and they had to live without her because of me. Even my father-the one who's supposed to protect-can't stop them. Or maybe he just doesn't want to. He only watches, in deadly silence. I never hear a word from him to calm me down or to put out the fire inside me. He just watches. And every time, I feel myself breaking more and more. He doesn't stop his own children from tearing me apart. That's why I believe he's with them. He thinks I killed my mother-because she died because of me.

I want to escape this body. I've thought about suicide many times, but I'm cowardly enough not to hurt myself. I know well that suicide is not the answer, no matter how deep the pain. The only thing to do is face the hardships and fight them instead of running away. Even though I know this truth well, I can't deny I've thought about giving up many times.

My father's state is one thing, but Carlos is another matter entirely. He's the only one who remembers my mother, but in a confused way. Carlos was the eldest, and he hated me because I forced him to carry responsibility from such a young age. He took care of Jessica and Lucas. Since he was little, the weight kept piling up on him. He was the one who started working early, helped my father, and sent money home. He gave Jessica and Lucas the chance to finish college comfortably, while I was the only one tormented by all this. I was never allowed to live as I wanted because of his hatred toward me.

How can a child be blamed from the start? Children are supposed to be angels. Why was I the devil in their eyes? Why didn't life help me grow strong enough to face them? I tried every way to defend myself, but things only get worse every day.

I swallowed hard, feeling a shiver run through me as I saw Carlos stand tall, then come closer. I saw his hand raise and strike me hard. The pain spread through my body, making me tremble. I looked at him, tears streaming down my cheeks. He roared as he squeezed my shoulder like he wanted to break the bone. I writhed in pain, while his eyes pierced me, fixed on my face as if trying to break through me. With a deep, angry voice, he shouted:

"How dare you slap your sister, you damn fool?"

I screamed back, trying to hold myself together despite the panic crushing me. My voice trembled as it came from deep inside:

"Because she doesn't know how to measure her words! Damn it, I'm not like that! You bastard! I didn't choose for my mother to die and leave me in her womb-do you get that? This thing was not in my hands. Think logically once, and you'll see you're the real damn fool here."

I gasped loudly as he slapped me hard across the face. I almost fell from the shock of the blow. He held my shoulder tightly, while tears fell uncontrollably from my eyes. His cruel gaze locked on me, and he yelled again while cursing me.

I looked around at the people standing there, doing nothing. Jessica-the damn one-stood smiling, her hand on her face as if she didn't care. Lucas stood still, silent, just staring at what was happening. My father was there, his eyes cold and indifferent, approving what Carlos did, as always. He was always their support, while I never heard him ask how I was or what was happening to me. When I'm sick, no one cares. I'm either left to take care of myself or taken to the doctor, where no one truly looks after me.

She gasped in tears again after he slapped me hard across the face, and I felt my strength slipping away. I pushed him away, freeing his hand. I lifted my head toward the stairs and hurried up, heading to my room. I entered and closed the door behind me, then burst into sobs-my gasps choking me.

I went to my wardrobe and grabbed my small bag. I opened it and began packing the things I needed, a few clothes that barely fit. The bag was so small, so I took only what was necessary. I couldn't bear it anymore. Enough. Enough. I had endured too much.

I was drowning in my ruins day after day, with no one to save me. They only worked to pull me deeper under. I was tired of it all. I had reached my limit.

I closed the bag and looked at the door. Lucas opened it quietly and closed it behind him. His eyes fixed on me, shifting between my tear-streaked face and the bag in my hands.

Lucas, shocked: "Where are you going?"

My throat tightened. My voice came out in a shaky choke, barely audible: "It's none of your business... I'm leaving and I'm not coming back... Enough. I've endured too much... I can't take it anymore... your actions..."

My lips trembled as I looked at him with watery eyes. I gasped violently, struggling to breathe. I saw his eyebrows knit suddenly as he stared at me. I hadn't expected his reaction... He stepped forward quickly, and to my surprise, his arms wrapped around me tightly.

He hugged me.

My heart trembled, and I swallowed hard. Tears poured down as if they had been waiting for this embrace for a long time. Despite everything, Lucas wasn't like them. He had never accused or hurt me like the others.

He was silent... watching silently. And now... here he was, holding me.

I was stunned. I had never seen him like this before. He had always been calm, distant, keeping his distance.

But I needed this hug...

I needed someone to hold me... to take away some of the weight choking my chest.

I didn't think twice. The bag slipped from my hand. I lifted my arms and hugged him tightly.

I gasped violently, my crying growing louder, as if I was pouring out all the pain inside me. I held onto him more, breathing heavily, almost choking, but I didn't want to let go. It was as if I was telling him all my pain without words.

Lucas's voice was low and worried, patting my back with a gentle, uneasy touch: "Enough... calm down... it's over... you'll choke on your tears. Stop..."

I sobbed uncontrollably, burying my face in his chest.

His hand moved slowly up and down my back, trying to calm me in a way I'd never seen before.

Finally, I started to come back to myself. I pulled away a little and stood in front of him. I swallowed hard and wiped my tears with the back of my trembling hand.

Even though he's my brother, I felt like he was a stranger...

What happened just now felt very strange to my soul.

No one had ever come close to me like that in all these years, not even when I was a child.

It was so strange... his hug, his voice, his eyes...

He never talked to me before... never sat with me to listen to what's inside me...

I was always someone to be ignored, as much as possible.

Lucas, in his usual calm voice, with a hint of coldness:

"I have nothing to do with what they do to you...

You know I never talked to you before... or did anything with you..."

I stared at him, blinking slowly as I looked at him.

"I know... I know that very well."

But...

I wish it hadn't been like that...

I wish he'd listen to me, or come closer, not ignore me...

He's the least harmful of them, true, but I'm not sure how I feel about him...

We never really touched before, even though he's close to my age... just two years older.

His room is far from mine, and we rarely meet.

Carlos's room is in front of me, and Jeska's beside me. But Lucas... he always seems isolated.

Yet still, his situation is better than mine.

Carlos always listens to him and talks with him.

Jeska stays up all night worried if she sees someone not okay.

She doesn't rest until things get better.

She always took care of them... she was afraid for them.

But that doesn't apply to me.

I'm just...

Nobody cares about me.

I muttered softly, barely audible, wiping the tears still clinging to my face, over the marks of his harsh slap:

"I... I know that... Thank you for not being like them...

And now... I have to go."

Lucas's voice suddenly rose with sudden worry:

"Are you serious?

Where will you go?

Will you stay on the street?

Or will you go to that one who comes and takes you from the side of the house?!"

I lowered my head and spoke in complete coldness, with a tone full of suppressed pain:

"It doesn't matter... No one will care if I'm gone. I'll manage...

Staying on the street is better than staying in this house... believe me."

He looked at me with insistence, his eyebrows furrowed again:

"There's no going out of here... I'll make them stop doing this."

I gave a faint, bitter smile and shook my head slowly:

"Don't get involved with them... leave yourself as you are... your isolation is much better.

This isn't easy, you'll break like that..."

I continued painfully as I said goodbye:

"I'll be fine... it's okay...

I'm used to being fine alone."