Chapter 2 What Are You Doing

Lila's POV

The door to the room opened and I froze. And from her view, she would think that Joshua and I were tangled up in my sheets. It felt like my heart fell into my stomach.

"What are you doing?" she shouted, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice.

We jumped apart, my eyes wide with surprise. Joshua's face turned pale, but Jessica just glared at me, not even a bit surprised.

"He–help me" I cried and reached out to her.

"I can't believe you!" she yelled, and I felt tears pricking my eyes. Couldn't she see the obvious?!

"You're my sister!"

"I–"

What was I going to tell her? That he forced himself on me? She wouldn't believe me! And to make things worse, Joshua scrambled to sit up, confusion on his face. "Jessica, wait! It's not what it looks like!"

"Not what it looks like?" she yelled louder. "Really? Because it looks like you two are in bed together!"

"I didn't mean for you to find out like this!" he said, panic rising in his voice.

"So, what did you mean to me to find out?" she shot back. "Did you think I wouldn't care?"

"That's not fair. "You don't understand!" Joshua begged, and I could see genuine worry in his eyes.

And the realization hit me. He never loved me. To him, this was all a joke. I was a joke and just took advantage of myself.

But before I could say anything, Jessica chimed in, her voice cold and cutting. "This was never about love for you, Joshua. I can't believe you thought it was."

"Jessica, please," he pleaded, trying to reach for her hand. "We can work things out." I love you!"

She rolled her eyes, pulling her hand away. "Love? Really? You think I care about that now? I have bigger plans. I'm leaving to travel for my career. I don't need this."

*****

*A YEAR LATER*

It had been a year since that horrible night when Jessica saw Joshua and me together. Since then, things have settled down. At least, that's what I told myself. I tried to ignore the anger I felt when Joshua took his bitterness out on me. He thought I had caused everything, and I never defended myself because my heart still wanted him. Which was fucked up everything he did to me. I loved him so much, I took all the blame and forgave him.

"Lila, you really messed things up," Joshua often said, his voice cold and harsh. "You think this is easy for me?" You seduced me and made Jessica leave!"

I would just stare at him, unable to find the words. I wanted to shout that it wasn't my fault, that I loved him, but fear kept me quiet. "I'm sorry, Joshua," I would say instead. "I never meant for this to happen."

He would roll his eyes, showing no sympathy. "Of course, you didn't. "You just wanted to take everything from me, didn't you?"

Those words tore through me every time. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster, going up and down. Yet, despite the pain, I wanted to believe things would get better. He had to snap out of it and fall in love with me soon.

***

I had a long afternoon of feeling sick and went to the doctor. I had been feeling strange, and after the test, the nurse asked me to rest.

"Ma'am?" a doctor called from his office and I walked in.

"You're going to be a mother," the doctor said with a smile, and I felt a wave of joy wash over me.

"Really?" I whispered, my eyes wide. I could hardly believe it. "I'm pregnant?"

"Yes!" the doctor confirmed. "Congratulations!"

Excitement filled me. I couldn't wait to share the news with Joshua. "This will bring us closer together," I thought happily.

I decided to surprise him at his apartment. I knocked on the door, a smile on my face and the news of the baby ready to spill out.

When the door opened, I was met with an unexpected sight. Joshua stood there, looking shocked. But it wasn't just him I saw. Jasmine was behind him, her hair messy, clothes slightly disheveled, and they were too close.

"What?" I gasped, my heart sinking. "Joshua, what is going on?"

Jessica smirked, stepping forward as if she owned the place. "Oh, look who it is! "The wife!" she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Joshua moved to block me from entering. "Lila, wait! It's not what you think!"

I felt my heart pound inside my chest. "Then what is it?" I demanded. "You're supposed to be with me, and she's supposed to be away!"

"Things have changed," Joshua said, and I could see the guilt in his eyes, but he didn't look, sorry. "Jessica is back, and it's complicated."

"Complicated?" I echoed, feeling rage build inside me. "Complicated doesn't mean you cheat on me!"

"Please, just listen," he pleaded, but I shook my head.

"No! "I don't want to hear any excuses!" I shouted, my emotions spilling out. "I thought we were building a life together!"

She stepped closer, a smug smile on her face. "You weren't good enough for him, Lila. Joshua deserves someone who can keep him happy."

"Happy? "By betraying him?" I retorted, tears spilling down my cheeks. "This is so messed up!"

"Enough!" Joshua shouted, his voice harsh. "This is all your fault, Lila!" If you hadn't gotten in the way, Jessica would still be mine!"

"Are you serious?" I shouted back, feeling my chest tighten. "You really think this is my fault?"

He crossed his arms, glaring at me. "You don't get to play the victim here, Lila. You were the one who couldn't keep me."

Pain shot through me with every word he said. "You don't mean that," I whispered, feeling completely defeated. "I loved you, Joshua. Even when you forced yourself on me!"

"Love doesn't matter anymore, and you seduced me," he said coldly, looking away from me.

Jessica leaned in closer to him. "You should just move on, Lila." Face it; you're not in his life anymore. I'll always be better than you."

I felt like I had been punched again. I couldn't believe the betrayal of both of them. "You both are heartless," I said, pleading with the hurt that filled my voice. "I thought we could be a family."

"Family?" Joshua sneered. "You want to be family after what you did? You think you can show up and change everything?"

At that moment, everything I had dreamed of was torn apart. "I came here to tell you that I'm pregnant!" I cried, my voice breaking. "But now, it doesn't even matter!"

Joshua looked shocked, and I felt a small flicker of hope. Would he care? Would he change?

But she spoke up before Joshua could say anything. "You're lying. You just want to trap him. You'll do anything to hold on to him!"

"I'm not lying!" I shouted back, angry tears streaming down my face. "You think I wanted this? I thought you would understand!"

Joshua stepped back, his expression twisted with uncertainty. "Lila, maybe it's for the best. I don't know if this is the right time-"

Jessica laughed, and it felt like poison in my ears. "Right time? Look at you, Lila. You're pathetic!"

"Both of you are cruel!" I cried, feeling my heart break. "I can't believe this is happening."

As I turned to leave, I knew it was final. I had tried so hard to make this work, and now there was nothing left.

"That's right, run and never come back, you slut."

It took me all I had not to turn around and slap her, so I simply turned to face her.

"For years, I loved Joshua. Even when the bastard led me on and chose you, I loved him. I interrupted your wedding and felt foolish, but I loved him to let him in. He forced himself on me and you left! I. Still. Loved. Him!"