Chapter 5 Reality Struck

**Elena**

"There's no need to come out, Helena," he said, his voice low but clear.

What did he mean by "Helena"?

"Xavier, what are you talking about?" I asked, trying to step out of the room to make sure I heard him correctly.

"I won't repeat myself..." he interrupted, blocking my movement. "If you're going to come out, you better be in your mask. And I won't tolerate this newfound closeness towards me."

I pinched my skin to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Reality struck me, and I realized I wasn't.

The memories of last night flashed back, and I recalled that Xavier had come in drunk.

But how could he not remember anything? And my voice? Did he not notice it?

At this point, I let myself fall to the floor, my face buried in my arms. Why was the Moon Goddess testing me?.

I stood up slowly, careful not to make a sound. He was still standing just outside the door, his back to me, but I could hear the shift in his breathing, like he was battling something inside himself.

"Why do you keep calling me Helena?" I asked, my voice soft but steady, still hidden behind the half-closed door.

He paused. "Because that's who you are," he said bitterly. "Don't play dumb with me."

"I'm not playing anything." My voice cracked before I could stop it. "What happened last night... it wasn't a game."

There was silence..

"You think I'd forget that easily?" he finally said. "Whatever happened last night..if anything happened, it was a mistake. You crossed a line."

My hand gripped the edge of the door. "I didn't force you, Xavier. You touched me first."

He inhaled sharply. "I was drunk. You should've known better. I don't need you trying to replace her."

Replace her?.

The words stabbed deeper than they should've.

"Do you always confuse women in your bed, or just the ones you claim to hate?" I whispered, voice tight.

He didn't answer.

And that silence?.

It shattered me more than any insult could.

"Why did you tell the maid I should have the room?"

There was a beat of silence. Then his voice, cold and sharp.

"So you heard that?"

I didn't respond. Just waited.

He scoffed, low and bitter. "Your presence sickens me."

My heart clenched.

"I could still smell you there," he added, voice laced with disgust. "You rubbed yourself all over my space like you belonged. I just needed it cleared. Needed it rid of you."

I swallowed hard..

So that was it.

Not guilt. Not pity.

Just disgust.

I turned away from the door, the tears already sliding down. My fingers fumbled for the mask and pulled it over my face, tight, suffocating. Hiding everything I didn't want the world to see.

Maybe... maybe Mortina was right all along.

Maybe I really was the problem.

Unwanted.

A mistake.

I closed the door, locking it behind me. My legs gave way, and I dropped to the floor like a rag doll.

You should've known better, Elena.

You were never meant to be seen. You were never meant to be loved.

You were just the fill-in, the shadow of someone else's life.

The weight on my chest grew heavier until I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up slowly, my legs trembling beneath me. I made my way to the bathroom, my hand trailing along the cold wall like I needed something to ground me.

The mirror reflected a stranger. Puffy eyes. A cracked smile.

Who are you kidding, Elena?.

I opened the small drawer beneath the sink, pulled it out, one thing I had barely touched for a long time.. I wasn't even sure why I had kept the pill.

It had been a stupid idea, something Lauren had begged me to throw away after Father's accident.

But I didn't.

And now, it felt like it had been waiting for me.

I stared at the tiny capsule in my palm. It was barely the size of a fingernail, but it looked heavier than the world itself.

"I'm sorry," I whispered into the silence, though I wasn't sure who I was apologizing to, Father, Xavier, Lauren, or maybe even myself.

I sat on the edge of the bathtub, the pill rolling between my fingers. Just one, I told myself. Just enough to sleep through the ache. Just enough to quiet the noise in my head.

But my hand didn't stop at one.

Two... then three.

Maybe I didn't care anymore.

Maybe I was tired of pretending.

I swallowed them dry. The bitterness stuck to my throat, and I leaned back, staring up at the ceiling like it held answers.

Minutes passed, maybe seconds. Time blurred. My limbs felt heavy..

Then-

I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, quick and sudden. My vision blurry, colors bleeding together like spilled ink.

I couldn't breathe. I reached for the sink, knocking over the toothbrush holder as my knees gave out.

I collapsed to the floor.

The cold tiles bit into my skin, but all I could focus on was the burn spreading through my chest, like fire had bloomed in the center of me.

My fingers scraped against the floor, searching for something, anything, to hold on to.

But there was nothing.

Just silence.

And pain.