Chapter 3 No going back

CHLOE'S POV

As I walked into the mansion,I felt sick. I ran up the long stairs, straight into my room, not even bothering to look at the servants that came to welcome me. My hands were shaking as I close the door. I rest my head on it as soon as I got in, trying to stop it from thinking about what had just happened.

I'm Chloe Packer. I've always been the second-best to my twin, despite been born minutes apart, she was better than me in many ways and my parents never miss the chance to let me know that when they were still alive. I'm not a career-driven woman like my sister, I just want to live a luxury life and be taken care of. So I didn't hesitate to grab the opportunity of living the life I've always dreamed of, when my sister passed up on the chance.

Zoe was dead.

I kept thinking about what happened. The sound of the wine bottle breaking into pieces, the way she fell to the floor, the blood flowing from under her head. My stomach turned. I wanted to scream, to cry, to take it back. But I could not.

She was gone.

"I killed my twin sister with my own hands." I said, looking at my shaking hands.

I pressed a hand to my mouth, trying hard not to cry. Now I have to pretend nothing happened. No one can ever find out about tonight. If they do, I'm going to lose everything, Jamie, Austin, the life I had built for myself. I don't even want to think about going back to my old life, or worse, being locked up in jail.

I stood in the middle of the bedroom,trying to calm my pounding heart by wrapping my arms around myself. I felt trapped.

I wanted to take some water to drink, but my hands were shaking. Relax, Chloe. I had come too far to fall apart now. Jamie was mine to protect, and this life-this marriage-was mine to keep. The truth had to remain hidden forever.

I was brought back to reality by the sound of a knock on the door.

"Mummy?"

My heart tightened.

Jamie was standing at the entrance of my bedroom, holding his favorite stuffed animal. His blue eyes, that looks so much like Austin's, stared at me with concern.

"What?" I yelled, too scared to speak calmly.

Jamie jumped back, his small fingers tightening around the toy. "I-" He stuttered. "I just wanted to show you my drawing."

I felt guilty and my breath caught. What the hell am I doing?

Jamie turned around and ran down the stairs, before I could open my mouth to say anything.

"No, wait-Jamie!" I called after him, but he was already gone.

I closed my eyes shut, trying to pull myself together. I love him. Despite everything, I truly love him. He isn't mine, but I was there when he was born, I had practically raised him, while his mother was mostly out working. And he was the key to keeping this family I had built, my place in the Perkins family.

I have to make this right.

I took a deep breath, I wiped my face dry, straightened my dress, and went after him.

I found Jamie snugged up on the couch in the living room, his back turned to me. Austin was kneeling down beside him, rubbing his back in a comforting way. He looked up when he heard me coming, his expression was unreadable .

"What happened? He said you yelled at him." His voice was calm, I was expecting him to be angry.

I forced a smile. "I didn't mean to snap at him. I was just..stressed."

Austin didn't respond immediately. He looked at me with concern.

"Really? Is everything alright?" He said looking at my face as if searching for answers.

"It's nothing to worry about. It's probably the change that comes with moving down here, being married now...and all." I said casually.

He sighed. "I understand, Zoe. But can you please...try not to snap at Jamie next time? He's too young to understand everything now and he's still trying to adapt to the change as well."

"Look. I know it wasn't easy for you, raising Jamie all alone for five years. So I want to be there for you from now on, for both of you. And anytime you feel upset about something, let me know and we will talk about it." He said holding Jamie's hands while looking at me.

I felt a bit of relief inside me. I was worried he'd start to doubt me. "No need to worry, Austin. I'm fine and It won't happen again." I said, smiling slightly.

I turned to face Jamie, bending beside him. "Jamie, sweetheart. I'm so sorry." I ran my fingers softly through his hair. "Mummy didn't mean to shout at you. I was just having a bad day."

Jamie sniffled, but he stayed near me. "You scared me."

I sighed. "I know, I know sweetie, I'm sorry I scared you. I promise, I will never shout at you like that again. I love you. Will you forgive me?"

"Yes mummy." he said in a low voice, looking at me.

I sighed in relief. "How about this? I'll look at the drawing you wanted to show me now, and we can do something fun tomorrow. Maybe go to the park?"

His small face lit up slightly, and he nodded.

I hesitated, then turned to Austin. "Actually... Why don't we all go together? We could take Jamie to the park. Have a proper family day."

Austin stared at me in surprise. He paused, like he was thinking twice, but then Jamie turned to him with hope in his eyes.

"Please, Daddy?"

Austin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Alright," he finally said. "We'll go."

Jamie cheered, and I felt relieved.

This was exactly what I needed-to seal my place in this family, to remind Austin and Jamie that I belonged here with them.

The truth shall remain a secret that I'll bury within me.

I squeezed Jamie in a hug. I need him to trust me, to love me. Because if I lose him, I'll lose everything.

Austin stood watching us,with his hands dipped in his pockets. A soft smile playing on his lips.

**********************************

The next day, I got dressed nicely, choosing a soft floral dress that made me look warm and motherly. I needed to keep up the act. Make it seem like everything was okay.

Austin was already dressed and waiting downstairs when Jamie and I walked downstairs to meet him.

"You ready, buddy?" Austin asked, ruffling Jamie's hair.

Jamie grinned. "Yes!"

Austin looked at me briefly, his expression unreadable, before turning away.

I knew he never had any love for me. No romantic feelings or anything.

The only reason he married me was because of Jamie, because he wanted to take responsibility and do the right thing. There was no affection between us, no romance.

But I could fix that. Now that Zoe is gone, completely out of the picture. I can make him mine.

If I played my cards right, I could make him see me as more than just a secretary and a one-night stand. I could make him fall for me.