Chapter 2 Catherine's Regrets

"I've already said I was working; it's hard to understand what I'm saying when you're completely reliant on others for survival," Lawerence spoke angrily, nearly causing Catherine to choke on air, but she said nothing and continued to ascend, stepping up the stairs, distancing herself further from her love.

When Catherine married Lawerence, falling for him was unexpected. Initially, he was somewhat kind, but instead of improving, with time everything vanished, leaving only a ravenous beast that used her occasionally, but never once kissed her or professed his love, rendering Catherine's marriage an utter failure.

Breathing steadily to maintain composure, she quickened her pace and soon entered the bedroom, going straight into the bathroom, looked into the mirror, and said:

"Who knew, from a woman of unparalleled intelligence, highly respected in every community and town I've passed through, I would become someone so mediocre, living humiliated, all because of this damned love," Catherine reflected on her own plight, too miserable, unworthy of her.

With a mind whirling, pondering a solution for her life, Lucy took a quick shower, slipped into a nightgown and threw herself onto the bed, planning to sleep.

At that point, Catherine heard footsteps inside the bedroom, and knowing it was Lawerence, she covered her body with the blankets and feigned sleep, yet secretly hoping he would come to her and apologize, though it never happened.

After his shower, Lawerence lay down with his back towards Catherine , seemingly wanting to sleep, but in truth, he exchanged messages with his lover, while Catherine's eyes remained closed, thankfully oblivious to the nature of the conversation.

••

Catherine tried to drift off, but the weight on her heart and Lawerence's snoring made it impossible, prompting her rise from bed to the balcony, where she sat in a chair, contemplating life.

The midnight wind was chilly, but undeterred, Catherine continued to marvel at the night' beauty.

"Would dad be angry if I gave up trying to please him? Ah, but of course, it's different when it's not your eyes the pepper burns," she uttered the last words and let out a bitter smile.

Soon, the Moon and stars that lit the sky were replaced by the rising Sun, a new day with fresh hopes for a better tomorrow, but is such a possibility present in Catherine's life?

She doubted it.

Catherine left the balcony and changed into a simple dress, discarding her white silk nightgown.

Lawerence was still asleep; she didn't bother waking him, mocking in her mind, "if he drank on a Wednesday, he must not need to work today," then headed to the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her teeth, and left the room.

In the Roberts mansion hallway, Catherine encountered Nancy, the housekeeper. Smiling, she said:

"Good morning Nancy, have someone clean up the mess in the living room, don't worry about finding a suitable place for that, the nearest trash bin will do just fine," leaving the old lady dumbfounded, having seen the couple's photos in the lounge but puzzled by Catherine's order to discard them.

Nancy planned to question her mistress, but Catherine vanished from her sight, leaving her to dust portraits of deceased Roberts family members, over thirty years gone, which unsettled her.

Lost in thoughts on why people keep photos of near strangers, Catherine reached the kitchen. Unlike before, she made only a black coffee, seated herself at the table, and reflected on life while sipping the bitter beverage, as bitter as her life, with each drop drawing her closer to reality.

Lawerence was hiding something, but what? Observing his recent behavior nightly outings, always returning drunk - fueled her suspicion.

After her coffee, Catherine lay on the sofa, watching the morning news.

Living far from town, friendless and neighborless, she consumed whatever appeared on TV, whether she liked it or not.

Around 11 a.m., Lawerence descended the stairs, the aroma catching Catherine's attention. She glanced at him, stunning in an impeccably tailored blue suit, shiny black shoes, and cold eyes, gripping a black briefcase, likely off to work.

"Good morning," he said without glancing her way; Catherine, too, gave no response, instead turning up the TV volume.

•

Lawerence, impatient with complaints, departed without a backward glance. At that, Catherine wept, reflecting on her own foolishness over the past two years; Lawerence hadn't conceded, but she was sure he was not working.

"No matter how kind your heart, eventually you're forced to treat people in the manner they treat you," she murmured to herself, wiping away her relentless tears.

As night fell and Lawerence remained absent without a word, Catherine sat sadly on the couch, head bowed, possibly weeping. At that moment, Nancy approached, coughing lightly to attract her mistress's attention:

"Good evening ma'am, l've left Mr.

Lawerence's dinner in the oven, as usual. I'll be spending the day at my daughter's, it's been too long since I've seen my grandchildren," she said, exuberant, yet Catherine was too morose for interaction and simply nodded her okay.

Having grown fond of her mistress as one of her family members through witnessing the couple's union, Nancy tried again:

"I don't know what's taken your smile, but clasp onto God; He never abandons his children."

"Thank you, Nancy, you may go," Catherine replied, adjusting herself on the sofa, turning on the TV, as Nancy left and Catherine searched for a good film to watch.

By midnight, Catherine tired of love stories with warped views of relationships; love isn't only kisses, hugs, and warm smiles, it's also loneliness, sadness, and pain. She now despised the love searing in her chest, stripping her of dignity.

Turning off the TV and planning to retire, Catherine heard the noise of a car, surely Lawerence. Rushing to the bedroom, she leaped into bed, feigning sleep.

Minutes later, the creaking door and footsteps in the room, Catherine, angered at her husband, kept her eyes closed until a loud thud, a body hitting the ground. She sprang up to find Lawerence collapsed, a drunken smile on his lips as he said:

"I'm home, my love, please help me to the bathroom," extending his hand, sending Catherine's heart into a sudden flurry.