Chapter 4 Selene's Silent Heartache

"Selene!"

She froze.

The name had come too fast, rushed, like a thought escaping before it could be censored. She recognized the voice even before she turned. Lyra again. Always Lyra, always trying to be the glue that kept Selene attached to a life she never truly belonged to.

Selene didn't turn right away. The dawn was still blooming, orange bleeding into pink, sky painted in colors that should have meant peace. But there was no peace in her heart. Only the tightening in her chest, a persistent ache that pressed against her ribs like a hand trying to squeeze her smaller.

She stood at the edge of the clearing, arms wrapped around herself though the cold had already numbed her fingers. The scent of pine mingled with wolf musk and fresh dew, a combination so familiar it should have been comforting. Instead, it clawed at her, reminding her, relentlessly, that she didn't belong. Her body bore the markings of the pack, yes, birthright and bloodline, but none of its strength. Not the way they measured it.

She had no wolf.

"Are you going to keep ignoring me?" Lyra's voice called again, softer this time. Selene could hear her footsteps now, crunching over dried leaves and loose gravel. "You said you'd come today."

Selene exhaled slowly, but her breath caught halfway through, forming a cloud in the cold air before vanishing. Her lips parted, words fighting to come out, but only silence emerged. The edge of her vision blurred as tears threatened, not from sadness, but from exhaustion. Emotional fatigue. From waking up every day hoping her wolf would stir, then ending the day hollow once more.

"I'm tired, Lyra," she finally said, her voice a brittle whisper. "Just... tired."

Lyra stepped beside her, not touching, but close enough for warmth to radiate between them. "You promised you'd try. The pack, "

Selene cut her off with a look, sharp and immediate. "The pack doesn't care. Not really. They tolerate me. Big difference."

"That's not true."

"You're wrong." Her tone cracked on the last word. "Every look, every whisper when I walk past them, it's all reminders. I am the girl with no wolf. That's all they see. Not Selene. Not someone trying. Just a failure wrapped in skin."

Lyra winced, but didn't deny it. Her silence said more than words ever could.

In the clearing beyond, the pack was shifting. One by one, wolves shed human form, reveling in the power that came with bone-shattering change. Muscles stretched, fur erupted, bones cracked into new shapes. It was glorious. Powerful. Violent and beautiful. They howled, long, throaty cries that pierced the morning air and made the earth beneath their feet tremble with ancient reverence.

Selene watched it all, standing still.

No change came for her.

Not a whisper of awakening. Not even a shadow of what it should have been. She had waited through her eighteenth year, her nineteenth, and now, almost twenty-one, and still, no shift. Nothing inside her had stirred. No wolf had risen.

She blinked as one of the young males, Ren, if she remembered correctly, shifted and bounded into the trees, his golden fur a streak of joy through the underbrush. His mother clapped, his father howled with pride. It was a rite of passage. One Selene had never crossed.

"How do you do it?" she asked, voice low and flat. "How do you walk into that crowd every day like you're not silently drowning?"

Lyra frowned. "Because I believe in you."

Selene turned sharply. "That's not an answer."

"No," Lyra agreed, brushing her hair from her face, "but it's the only one I've got. And maybe it's enough that someone still does."

Selene looked away, ashamed of the way those words made her throat tighten. "I can't keep pretending, Lyra. I'm not one of you. And no amount of smiling, or training, or fake optimism is going to change that."

"You don't know that."

Selene laughed, short and bitter. "Don't I? Caelum certainly thinks he does. Every word out of his mouth is just a warning wrapped in disappointment. I'm a stain on this pack's perfect structure. A reminder that not all bloodlines are blessed."

Lyra sighed. "The Alpha has his faults, but he still hasn't cast you out."

"Not yet."

There was a pause. A beat in which neither girl spoke. The silence was filled with the sound of wolves running through the forest, their celebration of unity as deafening as any accusation. The scent of moss and blood and fur filled Selene's lungs, and it made her sick.

"You should go," she said finally, each word slow and deliberate. "You belong with them."

"I belong here too. With you."

"No, you don't."

Lyra flinched at the sting in Selene's voice, but didn't move. She stood there, grounding herself like she always did when Selene tried to push her away.

"You know what today is, don't you?" Lyra asked softly, after a while.

Selene didn't answer. She didn't need to. Everyone knew. Today marked the beginning of the Harvest Run, an event celebrated by all five bordering packs. Shifters would compete, alliances would be tested, and more importantly, rankings would shift. It was a celebration of strength. A reminder of who stood on top.

And Selene?

She'd be expected to watch. To smile. To wave like a ghost haunting the sidelines of a life she should have inherited.

"You'll be called up," Lyra said. "Your name is still on the list."

Selene gave a hollow laugh. "And what will they do when I don't shift? Let me run it as a human? Be the joke of the games?"

"They'll see your strength. The one that doesn't come with fur."

"That's not enough. Not here."

The wind shifted, and for a moment, Selene swore she could feel something pull deep in her chest, a twinge, a whisper. But it was fleeting, gone before she could grab onto it. Like always.

"Maybe I will leave," she said aloud, more to herself than Lyra. "Maybe it's time."

Lyra's eyes widened. "You're serious."

Selene nodded slowly. "I can't keep standing in their shadow waiting for something that might never come."

"Where would you go?"

"I don't know. Anywhere. Somewhere that doesn't require me to prove I'm something I'm not."

A bird took flight from the treetops above them, and Selene watched it go. So easy, she thought. So free.

"You won't make it on your own, Selene."

"I already am," she replied, voice cold. "Every day."

And for the first time, Lyra didn't argue.

They stood there in silence again. Two girls on opposite ends of a world that no longer made sense. Selene stared into the forest, listening to the chorus of wolves. But none of it felt like music anymore.

It felt like mourning.

She turned and walked away, leaving Lyra behind. No more waiting. No more hoping.

And somewhere, beneath all the numbness, something cracked wide open. Something angry. Something broken.

Something that might one day become a wolf.