Chapter 5 A Secret Shared

It was a Thursday evening when I got the message. A simple text from Pastor Daniel that read: "Would you like to grab coffee after service this Sunday? I'd love to talk more with you."

I stared at the screen, my heart racing. A coffee? With him? Alone?

My first instinct was to ignore it. I could come up with any excuse-work, Zara, anything. But then I thought about it. I wasn't doing anything wrong. And maybe, just maybe, it would be nice to have someone to talk to. A real conversation, not the usual small talk or awkward "How's life?" that most people offered.

So, I replied. "I'd love to."

I didn't tell anyone about the coffee date-after all, I had no idea where it would lead. It wasn't like I was planning anything serious. It was just coffee. But deep down, I knew there was something more. Something unspoken that had been building between us.

When Sunday came, my nerves were all over the place. I didn't want to look too eager, but I also didn't want to seem like I wasn't looking forward to it. I spent the entire service trying to focus, but my mind kept drifting. I watched Pastor Daniel from across the room, his deep, thoughtful expressions as he preached. He seemed to always know exactly what to say. And when his eyes caught mine, I'd quickly look away, afraid of what he might see.

After the service, he found me almost immediately.

"Hey, ready?" he asked, his smile warm.

"Yeah," I said, a little breathless. "Let's go."

We walked to a nearby coffee shop in silence at first. It was comfortable, though. Not awkward. As we sat down, he started by asking about Zara, how I was managing on my own. For the first time, I wasn't just giving polite answers. I told him about the sleepless nights, the challenges of balancing work and motherhood, and the guilt that sometimes gnawed at me for not being able to provide more for Zara.

To my surprise, Pastor Daniel listened intently. He didn't interrupt or offer quick fixes. He just listened.

When I finished, he sighed and leaned back in his chair. "You know, you're doing better than you think. I can see how much you love Zara."

The words hit me harder than I expected. I blinked back tears, not wanting to seem too emotional, but the truth was-I was exhausted. I'd been carrying so much for so long, and to hear someone acknowledge it... it felt like a weight was lifted, even if just for a moment.

"I'm not sure I'm doing enough," I whispered, feeling vulnerable for the first time in a while.

He smiled gently, his eyes softening. "You're more than enough. And you deserve someone who sees that."

It was the way he said it-the way he made me feel seen-that made my heart race. Was this more than just a pastor offering counsel? Was this a connection I wasn't ready for?

I didn't have an answer, but I knew one thing for sure-there was something in my chest that had been growing stronger with each passing day.