Chapter 3 A STRANGER SO WELCOMING

Zacks POV

****************************

Wrapped around me, Joyce hugged tightly, bare, breathing in my scent. Responsible, calm, I felt. Feelings that had long passed. The ones I'd so desperately wanted.

Her pulse a lullaby. Her deep, slow, soothing breaths.

Her skin so soft and luminous in the dark room. Her face shone innocently in my arms. Her long hair soft even when she was ill. The memory of burying my hands on them dances at the door of my mind.

Six months have passed and her beauty is giving way, unfading but nothing much happened in her mental health.

Days has passed quickly. No progress, No changes.

The day that this occurred hangs around the corners of my mind, weighing heavily.

Suddenly fall out of nowhere, there in the conference room. Being informed she have a strange disease afterwards and here we are.

I wish she could return to being in my arms. This serenity.

Will she be this calm when she learns?

My heart beat faster. The fear of breaking the news to her clung to my chest.

How is she going to take this betrayal?

Seeing her so calm brings a lot of memory; Our first night together.

Her expression when I walked through that door had melted my heart. Her longing was evident. I shouldn't have stayed away this long.

"No!, I will break it to her another time, not today"

The weight of the thing is on my shoulders. I've done something bad. Something that will make all that we've build through these years collapse. Something which can shatter our love, her trust.

I experienced the bottom of my heart lift out.

Horrendous load of fear ran down my spin. Fear of being caught. Fear of seeing her in sufferings.

Will she ever forgive me?

But then

The door creaked open

She bristled instantly, her body rigid against mine.

A shadow remains in the doorway

The Nurse.

She had sat up, wrapping her arms around my body. Her sharp nails piercing my skin.

The Nurse approaches smiling, "it's time for your injection, Mrs"

Her breath caught. "No... No, not anymore!", her body trembling against mine. Her breathing became labored.

My heart beating louder against my ribcage. "Baby...", I shuddered, patting her back. "Relax, it's just your injection"

"No, I don't want.... They're drugging me baby", her voice came out hoarse and strained. She pushed my shirt. "They're making me crazy!"

My eyebrows knitted, taken aback by her words. "What?"

"Sir, please stand aside while we do our duty". The Nurse spoke, expressionless, unnervingly serene. She stepped forward. Joyce is pushed off me by the two orderliners.

The syring at the ready.

"No, don't make them take me please... please don't leave", she pleaded tugging at nothing, her body trembling with terror.

A pain knife cut my heart. Tears streaming down her delicate eyes. Her eyes never leaving mine.

She screamed

A raw snarl, heartbreaking shriek

"Baby stop" I gasp fighting to hold her down. "You're scaring me"

"You're scaring her.... "

"She's hallucinating. She's having another episode", the nurse said.

Her voice tight.

My grip ease. My hands dropping to my side. The two orderliners grasped her arm tighter, pinning her down on the mattress. She fought, kicking vigorously.

The needle went through her skin. She screamed again, this time wildly. It made me recoil in shock.

I remained there, stunned. My breathing strained and face went pale. Her moan eases. Her eyes fix on mine. Her breathing eases.

"You will have to let her rest now, Sir", said the nurse with compassion as she unplug the syringe.

Her eyes slowly close, taking in the effect of the fluid. The orderliners carefully covers her body.

The air in the room thicken. I swallowed hard. The pains of the scene tugged at my throat unwilling to move. I looked down at her calm frail body. Her soft breathing. The rise and fall of her chest. Turning, i left the room and the scenery behind.

I have to find solution to her pains. Quick solutions.

***************************

The hospital hallway loomed with hue, motion of movement and discordant shriek from the ward of patients. The smell of antiseptic and something chillier pierce my nose as i walked. My head spinning with anger, fear and remorse.

The visit has worn me out, something I've never felt, or even dreamed. At first, I'd wish it would never end, with my wife in my arms. Sharing a passionate moment together, with our passions fulfilled.

I had desired this for so long. Having her in my arms. Touching all of her. Our heart pounding against one another. Assuring each other for the future. But in the end, she had screamed.

The way she had never screamed before.

She clung to me, begging me not to leave. It has shattered something unexplainable within me.

My torment, my betrayal gnaws in like a snail. Drawn in my mind.

I was dreaming away, and nearly ran into a woman. She backed up, tilting her head while she looked at me. I barely noticed her. My head busy with my problems.

I finally raised my gaze, and then jammed.

Red tresses and those green eyes....

Not any red hair; my red hair. The same color that distinguishes me from my folk. The same unruly waves which would not calm.

They are not ordinary. Even within my own family.

I blinked, discomfort

"You look like you've seen a ghost", she said, her smiles unwoven.

I breathed out, weaving off the strange feelings. "Am sorry, I wasn't looking"

The lady in her late forties stood looking at me intently, more like she was examining me. Reading me. "You're her husband?" She inquired, not exactly.

"I mean Joyce", She smiled quietly to soften my furrowed brow

"Yes", my teeth gritted

Her eyes light up with something I couldn't pin down."She talks a lot about you"

My heart gripped. "You talk to her?". A burst of joy ran through me.

She nods "She's hanging on"

"But I want more" I swallowed hard. The anger clogged on my throat. "Surviving isn't enough"

She glanced at me, softly now. Her green eyes flicker, hitting something within me.

"Do you love her?"

I mocked. Indignant at her query "of course I do, she's my wife"

"Besides her being your wife, do you love her?", her eyes bristled at me, her tone unyielding. Her temerity annoyed me, as though i am in trouble with my mom.

"Yes, I do"

"Why did you leave her to the mercy of your mothers. Why isn't she being cared for by you?"

Her eyes flashed at me, unwavering. My browns frowned in confusion. Why am I responsible to her. Why does she care so much about Joyce?

"She wants to leave here" her voice softens

"I know", I cut in. My breathing risk. "I know. She doesn't belong here, I don't know how things got this far"

She did not utter a word, her little green eyes fixed on me, examining me. Her face serene. "Maybe you should take her issues personally. From the food and water she eats. Her medication and injection or better still take her overseas for better treatment.".

My stomach twisted. "You think I haven't tried?, I have but my mom said she stay where we can keep an eye on her progress". I stuttered, rubbing my hands across my face.

I feel like I've failed her. I don't want to accept all these months have been for nothing. The guilt stung. I clenched my fists, releasing a sharp breath.

"I've failed her", the words felt so bitter on my lips as I uttered them. My mind went blank with my betrayal. My chest con subsided, the burden of my silence weigh on my shoulders.

But then again, her eyes faltered. A glimmer of understanding.

Silence clung to us. Then she reached out and placed a firm grasp on my shoulder, "Your guilt wont save her, my dear"

Our eyes locked again. I felt a genuine connection.... A familiarity that I just can't get.

What is it about her?. There's something unexplainable in the way we're connected, the way she speaks to me. Something fidgety about it.

Before I could adjust to it, she turned away. Her back disappearing from the balcony. I exhaled, shaking off my thoughts.

I have to do something about Joyce's health. Maybe it's time to fly her out...

But still I cannot get rid of this meeting as i left the hospitals. The strange feelings lingers. The feeling of meeting someone I've longed lost. A missing part of me.