Chapter 10 10

"Why not?" I said with anger. When I saw my mother wince, I softened my tone and squeezed her hand. "Sorry, Mom, I know I have to deal with this and so do you. But we will get through this together." She looked at me and smiled weakly.

Mom looked tired. I could see that the stress had taken a toll on her. In fact, it appeared that she had gained a little weight. Not that she looked bad, but her breasts were fuller and I had noticed that her jeans seemed tighter then normal. I guess stress will do that to you ... maybe too much comfort food.

It was about a thirty-minute trip from the train station to our house. We didn't talk much until we arrived home. As we walked into the house my mother said, "I'll fix you lunch if you want. Are you hungry?"

"Starved. Let me go take my suitcase to my room and wash up."

"Okay, sweetheart," she said and reached for my hand and squeezed it again.

On impulse I pulled her into my arms for a hug. She held me tight and I heard her start to sob. I had no idea what to say so I just held her and let her cry. At some point, I realized that her breasts were mashed to my chest and her thighs pressed to mine. I was mortified when I felt my cock start to fill with blood. In spite of how badly I felt, she was still my fantasy woman and I just could not help myself. As much I wanted to keep holding her, I knew that in a minute she would feel my excitement. I pushed her back and kissed her lightly on the lips. I could taste her tears and incredibly that made my almost hard cock pulse. I took her face in my hands and used my thumbs to wipe away her tears. Her eyes held mine and I was almost lost in the deep pool of blue in her eyes. My excitement grew.

"Uh ... let me go unpack," I said. I turned quickly and hurried to my room.

When I returned to the kitchen my mother had a bowl of soup and a sandwich on the table for me. She was sitting across the table and her eyes were still red from crying. When she saw me she started to cry again. I walked over and hugged her. She buried her face in the fabric of my shirt just above the belt. Again, I let her cry until I felt her tears soaking though my shirt. I whispered again, "We'll get through this." I was trying to convince myself as much as her.

"I know," she answered as she pulled away and looked up at me. "But there is something else that you should know."

I suddenly had this rush of dread. I had no idea what she was going to say but from the look on her face, I figured it couldn't be good. "What?" I asked.

"Sit down," she said.

I sat down quickly, staring at her, waiting.

It took a few long moments before she spoke. "I'm not sure how to tell you this and I wanted to wait until you got home before I did."

Now I was even more concerned. "What's wrong, Mom?" I asked, almost on the verge of tears myself. Maybe cancer, I thought and felt my stomach begin to churn.

"David," she said and paused again for what seemed an eternity. Then she took a deep breath and said, "I'm pregnant."

Suddenly the room was totally silent. I wasn't sure I had heard her right. "What?" I asked.

"I'm two months pregnant."

I heard it this time. I almost fell out of my chair. I stared at her for several very long moments. When I could respond I stuttered, "How ... when ... oh Jesus, Mom. I thought dad was ... you know ... you two weren't ..."

She had tears streaming down her cheeks as she said; "It wasn't dad that got me pregnant."

I gasped and stared. My head started to spin.

After a moment she composed herself and said, "A couple months ago I was out with a friend. We were drinking and I was telling him about how your father and I never ... uh ... get together anymore ... you know, sexually, it's been years. Well ... uh ... one thing led to another and I ended up going to a motel with him."

I looked at her with my eyes were as wide as saucers.

"I'm sorry, David. It wasn't something I wanted to happen, it just did. It was only once, but I guess that's all it took."

"God," I said.

"Your father and I have not had sex in five years. He cut me off long ago, and now I know why. But that is no excuse. Can you ever forgive me?" She bowed her head.

I was silent. I had no idea what to say. There were a host of emotions running through me at that moment. Somewhere inside there was anger or more likely it was jealously that she had been with another man, but I certainly couldn't let her know that. Neither could I really be mad at her, especially after all she has gone through. "Who is he?" I asked, trying to keep my emotions out of my voice.

"You don't know him. I met him a few years ago at one of your father's company Christmas parties. We kept in touch, but nothing ever happened until ... you know, this one time."

"Does he know you are pregnant?"

"No. He's married."

"Oh shit," I said and then wished I hadn't. "I mean that complicates things I guess."

"Not really. I don't intend to tell him. It was not his fault. I mean it didn't take much to seduce me ... if he was even trying. It was just a big mistake for both of us. We both apologized the next day and agreed to never do it again. I don't want to ruin his marriage."

"I guess I can understand that," I said, still fighting my jealously. "What about Dad, does he know?"

"No, and I don't intend to tell him either," she said with thinly veiled anger. "He'll find out soon enough anyway."

Mom looked at me and started to cry again. I got up and came around and knelt at her feet and hugged her.

"I don't know what to do. I'm so ashamed," she said and continued to cry. Then she slipped to her knees in front of me, placing her hands over her face, sobbing.

My heart was being ripped from my chest. I held her shoulders, unsure what to do no. I was just no good when a woman was crying. I repeated for the tenth time, "We'll get through this." I tried to sound confident. I was the man of the house now. But my head was spinning and I was almost shaking. "I can quit college and get a job ... you know, to make some extra money," I said.

My mother looked at me with surprise and gathered herself. "Oh no, that's not necessary. Your father is paying alimony and quite a bit of it too. His "friend" has plenty of money; in fact he is very wealthy. The house and everything is ours. So we don't have any worries financially."

I had to admit I felt relief. Yet, I was still concerned about her. I mean I couldn't go back to college and leave her alone while she was pregnant. I could go to a local college, I thought, but did not say. Then I said, "I'm glad you're not telling Dad. We can handle this ourselves. We don't need him."

I saw my mother's face turn soft and I saw a look that was filled with emotion. She said, "David, I love you. You are my rock."

It appeared that I had said the right thing and then I saw her features relax and the tension drained from her. "Thank you for being so understanding," she whispered, continuing to hold me tight. When she pulled back there was something in her eyes that I had never seen before. The blue of her eyes seemed like deep pools of crystal water shimmering in the morning sun. I could suddenly feel heat and I didn't know if it was coming from her or me. My heart began to thump. Then, like a magnet our lips slowly came together.

I am not sure how long the kiss lasted, a minute or an hour, but it was enough to start my blood boiling. When we parted, I could see that my mother was breathing heavier and she still had a funny look on her face. I glanced down and saw that her nipples were hard and poking through the material of her top. She saw my eyes. Her face turned red and so did mine. I quickly pulled away, although reluctantly, and went back to my chair, now embarrassed. I think she was too.

"Want me to heat that soup up for you?" she said, still breathless.

"No, it's fine." I bent my head and began to eat my now cold soup.

My mother stared at me for a few moments ... I could feel her eyes but I didn't look up. She got up and went to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water. She was composed when she came back to the table. "So, I suppose things are going to be changing around here. I mean with a baby and all ... crying, diapers, baby food, etc." She laughed lightly. It was obvious that she was trying to lighten the conversation and reduce the tension that had result from the kiss.

"We have plenty of room in this big house," I said. Then I added honestly, "I can turn the bedroom next to yours into a nursery."

"Would you do that for me? That would be wonderful," she said with appreciation in her voice.

"Sure, that shouldn't be a problem. I can put in a doorway to your room, then a little paint and some furniture," I said and paused. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Mom smiled. "I don't know yet."

"I'll have to wait to paint it until I know if it is going to be blue or pink. A boy certainly can't have a pink bedroom."