Chapter 5 Calla's POV

A loud noise rang in my head as tears began to fall from my eyes. My legs were weak making my body heavy to carry,I collapsed on the floor beside the bed. The room was spinning and all I could think of was what had happened to my mother. I wanted to be with her. The rain splattered hard on the window steel and the sound of thunder echoes tremendous. My blurry vision could only amplify James running towards me as I began to cry profusely.

He wrapped his arms around me and sat on the floor with me.

"It's okay.. it's okay..." He mutters as he used his fingers to softly brush through my hair. A few minutes later,my bitter tears was replaced with silence and the pouring rain was replaced with cool breeze slightly hitting the windows. I sat up and I could feel James hands releasing me.

He had a towel tied around his waist. He got up and began to wear his pants back. I tried to stifled the flush of adrenaline rush that consumed me. One moment,I was worshipping his body and the next,I had covered it with salty tears of my sadness. Despite the wave of the crushing news my body still flinched at the sight of him and the touch from him.

He walks back to me. His chest still bare and his eyes still filled with concern. He pulled me from the floor and guided me back to the bed. He pulled me close to him and my head rested on his chest as I listened to his heartbeat. I shivered as the chilling cold temperature of the room erects goosebumps on my skin. James might have noticed because he pulled the blankets to cover my shoulder.

"James?" I said. I didn't know what to say exactly,I just wanted to be sure it was real. He was still here.The world had lunched us to a different timeline but he was still here,right here.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" His rumbling voice left vibrations across his chest as my head laid on him. "Calla, you can talk to me,you know" I nodded,my head still resting on his chest.

"When I was ten, my dad and my little brother had gone to the dentist. I wanted to go too because I wanted to see the look on his face when he gets his wisdom tooth removed." I paused, James hands fiddle's my shoulders a little, comforting me. So I went on. "So my dad let me. On our way there,I wanted to show my dad my Barbie doll I had just braided. A fire tuck came out of nowhere and hit the car. I was in coma for two weeks and when I woke,my dad and brother were no more." A wet tears slide down my face onto James chest. In reaction,he pulled me closer.

"Oh my God, Cal---"I could hear his heartbeat changing it's rhythm.

I wiped my tears and continued "my mum developed an addiction,and until a few years,she went into rehab to quit. That's where she picked up painting"

"It's not your fault... you were a kid--"

"I know" I said , cutting him off. "but--- "

He gave me a little shrug again "She'd be okay. She'd fight"

His finger gentle stroke my hair and the sound of his heartbeat faintly drift me off to sleep.

The next morning we headed back to Boston. The flight was a 7 hours flight wrapped in anxiety as I couldn't help but think of what state to find my mother in. James' occasional squeezing of my hands was comforting enough not to spiral into my depressive thoughts.

We landed and went straight to the hospital. My legs did a sprint race to the room my mum was placed. When I opened the door,My Aunt Kathy stood up from the little visitors chair by the bed and rushed to give me a hug. I stood unresponsive as the gruesome sigh of my mother laying helpless with tubs passed in and out of her body.

"Oh God" a new wave of shock hit my nervous system. My tummy roared with an unsettling feeling. I walked over to her bed, tracing my fingers on the bed, adjusting her pillow,and holding her hands. Whatever I could do to get her out of here quickly.Her fragile hands were cold. "Mum?"

Her skin was pale and her vains visible green, translucent enough to see through her skin. The strong armor my mum had always had on, were unrecognizable anymore. I hadn't noticed when James walked in the room but his somber eyes met mine.

"They had to flush the fluid from her lungs. She's asleep now...", Aunty Kathy said. I stood there watching my mum's breathing air through a loud tube ,her chest cavity pumping up and down with every inhale and exhale. I wonder how long--- how long will a machine work before it doesn't anymore. But,I was getting overstimulated from the thought of her not being here.

We all sat there in silence for an hour,my hands still wrapped around my mum's fingers, hoping she wakes up soon enough before visiting time is over. Aunty Kathy had gone home to get some stuff for mum. James stood there, letting me have my moment.

The nurse walked in to let us know that visitation hours is over. I hesitantly stood up and kissed my mother on her head, silently pray for her recovery. James arms swung over my shoulders as he guided me out and back to the car.He drove me straight home. I rode the shotgun seat and James hands would ritually reach out to my hands, like he was pulling my out of my head.

We got to the house and he went into the kitchen and microwave some leftovers chicken drumsticks and made some ramen noodles. He brought it up to my room and gave it to me to eat. His eyes scanned my room decor and from his face,I could tell he was curious about the large portrait of me when I was in college,my mum painted. I still had my wavy ginger hair. It was pretty much the only thing that didn't fit the minimalist aesthetic of my room.

"My mum painted that " I said to him.

"Ahhh... they're pretty,I mean, your hair...and the painting."

"Thanks,I wanted to look different after collage and this kinda stuck " I replied, brushing my hair from my face.

"I love this too" he said, tickling my nose.

James sat by the bed and watched me eat. I offered a piece of chicken and he refused,but after a little persuasion,he agreed and I fed it to him. He waited until I was done eating.

"Calla,I'm going to figure it out..."he began,I knew where he was going with this.

"James, it's not your fight." I replied,as I tucked myself into my bed. I looked at the clock besides me and it was midnight already. James leaned in to kiss my head. A gesture that was awkward thereafter.

We haven't really had time to talk about what happened the other night. There was far more important stuff happening and it was all too weird. We literally had each other genitals in places that we would be considered a felony in some religion. He stood by my door for a second before leaving and his shadow follows.

I got up at few minutes before my alarm goes off and got dress so I could drop off some stuff with Aunt Kathy for mum before submitting the pieces to work. I wore a baby blue dress and a pair of heels.

The sky was plain today,not a cloud to shade me from the sun,not a single one to imitate something to give me a beacon of hope. I walked in to Halt and I was immediately met with Julie frowning brows and upsidedown smile.

"Oh baby" she said, pulling me into a nice squeeze.

"Hi Julie" I said before we pulled apart. She collected the bags that contained the materials from me. " You need to take the day off... It's a lot happening right now.."

"But Julie " I said over her

"No...no...I won't let you in here today. We still got a month and half before Paris. Take a day off,it won't change a thing. You have to look after yourself too Calla." She wiggled the bags and turned me around. "Go." She commanded.

"Okay" I said as I began to walk back my tracks.

"Bye-bye" I heard Julie said just before I got into my car.

I drove back to the hospital and stood by my mother's bed again. Here,it was different,the clouds were in here, invisible but dark. Not the pretty one's your hope for in the sky and it felt like a bunch of these dark clouds were stuffed into the oxygen tank beside mum. He breath was loud, forced, complety brash. I thought of how bold little things seem when they begin to fade. I held her hands in silence prayers hoping my touch will heal her.One of the nurses came in and told me visiting hours are over,and she needed to clean mum's tubes.

I placed my lips on her head,before walking out of the hospital.

I drove round the city before deciding to go to Wendy's for a snack. I got iced tea and a chicken burger then I sat alone and ate as my thoughts wanders around. On my way out,I ordered a box of doughnuts and decided to pay James visit. I wanted to around him because made me feel better.

I watched my phone ring and it was a call from James. I was already at in the elevator going to the floor of his office. I reached out to answer but the idea of popping out with a box of doughnuts would be great for the plot. I walked out of the elevator and straight to his office.

The walk way was very well familiar as I recognized the bathroom at the end of it. I placed my hands on the door knob, trying to balance myself on my heels without making a mess of the box of doughnuts in my hands. Then,I felt a pull, lunching me forward in a forceful motion.

I managed to get a hold of myself as James immediately steady me

"Woah, careful" I said jokingly then my eyes met a dark haired woman sitting on his desk and I could feel the tiny grin of excitement on my face collapse. I looked back at James and he looked agonized-- his eyes widens, staring at me blankly.

"Mmm Cal's... wait" He stood frozen by the door. His breath shallow and uneven.

I didn't know what to say or do as my mind ran an sprint race. I bite lowered lips harder enough to make him bleed inside my mouth. I could taste the metallic stung of blood in my mouth. Every piece of me wants to run and it seems like time has stopped.

"Ahhhh!" The woman at the table said,her airy expression had made time start again,now it moved faster--fast enough that if you blinked too slow you might miss everything.

She didn't in anyway look like a business partner. She wore a skimpy dress with a brat doll boot. Her make up was dark and intimidating. She wasn't just pretty,she looked straight out of a vouge magazine.

" Hi" she said, in a way that intends suspension "I haven't seen you around here,I'm Ashley" she waves from the table as she raised her glass of wine my way in acknowledgement.

"We're no longer together " James said almost immediately. Murmuring loud enough for me to hear. His hands were trembled my his sides as he stood by the door almost petrified.

I handed him the doughnuts and smiled politely at her "Hi,I'm Calla...I work for him" I said to her.

I turned back to James"Thank you Sir, for helping me yesterday. I'm grateful." I said to him. I smiled back at her again before walking away.