Chapter 5 Goodbye, My Love

Luci's scream echoed through the hospital hallway. She tried to move, but her legs refused to hold her. Her vision blurred as she stared at Dotan's still body. No. No. This isn't real. This can't be real. Miguel caught her before she hit the ground. "Luci," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. She gripped his shirt, her body trembling. "He's not... he's not..." The doctor sighed, his face filled with quiet sympathy. "We did everything we could. The injuries were severe." Luci shook her head violently. "No! No, you didn't do enough! You didn't-" Her voice broke. She couldn't breathe.

Dotan. Her Dotan. The man who had kissed her forehead that morning. The man who had promised he would be fine. Gone. The weight of it crashed over her like a tidal wave, suffocating her. She screamed again, her pain so deep it clawed at her very soul. Miguel tightened his arms around her. "I'm here. You're not alone." But she felt alone. More alone than she had ever been in her life. And nothing would ever be the same again. The church was silent except for the quiet weeping of mourners. Luci sat in the front row, her hands clenched in her lap, her face pale. She felt like she was in a dream. A nightmare she couldn't wake up from. Dotan's coffin was in front of her, covered in white lilies. People spoke in hushed tones, offering condolences. She barely heard them. Her mind was trapped in the past. His laughter. His touch. His promises. "I'll always be here, my love." Someone touched her shoulder. Miguel. "Luci..." His voice was gentle. "It's time." She looked up, dazed. The priest was waiting. The pallbearers were ready. The moment she had been dreading had come. The final goodbye. The cemetery air was thick with sorrow, Luci stood by the open grave, her body trembling. The wooden coffin looked so... small. It didn't make sense. Dotan had been larger than life. He had filled every space with his warmth. And now... now he was being lowered into the earth. Her breath hitched. "No..." she whispered. Miguel took her hand, steadying her. She didn't pull away. Tears ran freely down her cheeks as the priest spoke. But Luci barely heard a word. Her mind was filled with Dotan's voice. "I'll take care of you, always." "You and Adriana are my whole world." "We'll grow old together." She clenched her fists. He had promised her forever. And now, he was leaving her alone in a world that suddenly felt too big, too empty. A soft wail snapped her out of her thoughts. Adriana. She was in Miguel's arms, her tiny face scrunched in distress. Even she could feel it. Her father was gone. Luci reached for her, holding her close. She sobbed into Adriana's tiny shoulder, her baby's warmth the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely. Dirt hit the coffin with a hollow thud. Luci's knees buckled. Miguel caught her again. "Breathe, Luci," he whispered. "Just breathe." But how could she? How could she breathe when the love of her life was six feet under? That night, the house was suffocatingly quiet. Too quiet. Luci sat on their bed, Dotan's shirt clutched in her hands. His scent was still on it. She pressed it to her face, inhaling deeply. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She lay down, curling into a ball, the fabric wrapped around her like a shield. She could almost hear his voice. "Come here, love." "You're safe with me." A sob ripped from her throat. She wasn't safe. She was alone. A knock on the door startled her. She didn't answer. The door opened anyway. Miguel. He walked in cautiously, his eyes filled with worry. "Luci..." She didn't look at him. She couldn't. "I made some tea," he said softly. "You should drink something." She said nothing. He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I know it hurts," he murmured. Luci laughed bitterly. "You have no idea." Miguel sat on the edge of the bed, watching his sister crumble under the weight of her grief. "I know it feels like the world ended today," he said softly. Luci let out a choked laugh. "It did." Miguel reached for her hand, gripping it firmly. "No, it didn't. It changed, but it didn't end." Luci turned her tear-stained face toward him, her voice raw. "How do you know that? How are you sure I'll survive this?" Miguel's jaw clenched. "Because you have to. Because you have a daughter who needs you. And because you're not alone, Luci. You still have me." Her lips trembled. "It's not the same." "No," Miguel admitted. "It's not. Nothing will ever replace Dotan." Luci closed her eyes, more tears spilling down her cheeks. "But you don't have to go through this alone," Miguel continued. "I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere." She opened her eyes, staring at him for a long time. Then, finally, she nodded. Miguel exhaled, squeezing her hand. "Come stay with me for a while. You don't need to be in this house alone." Luci hesitated, then looked down at Adriana, who whimpered in her sleep. She couldn't drown in her pain. Not when her daughter still needed her. She finally whispered, "Okay." Miguel stood. "I'll help you pack." Luci took a shaky breath, gripping Dotan's shirt one last time. Then, with a deep exhale, she let it go. For the first time since Dotan's death... She took a step forward. Miguel packed Luci and Adriana's things into his car, shutting the trunk with a quiet sigh. Luci stood by the doorway of her old home, staring at it with vacant eyes. Every brick, every crack in the wall held memories of Dotan. Leaving felt like walking away from him. Miguel came up beside her. "You don't have to do this if you're not ready." She blinked rapidly, trying to keep her tears at bay. "I don't have a choice, do I?" Miguel didn't answer. Some truths were too painful to say out loud. Instead, he touched her shoulder. "Come on." Luci inhaled deeply, forcing her feet to move. With Adriana sleeping soundly in her arms, she got into the car. As Miguel pulled out of the driveway, she kept her gaze locked on the house, watching until it disappeared from view. She felt like she was leaving a piece of herself behind. Miguel lived in a spacious two-bedroom apartment in a decent neighbourhood. It wasn't extravagant, but compared to Luci's modest home, it felt like a palace. The moment they stepped inside, the difference was overwhelming. Luci's house had always been warm, a little chaotic, filled with Dotan's laughter and the aroma of home-cooked meals. But Miguel's house was orderly, almost sterile, with everything in its perfect place. No scattered baby toys, no pictures on the walls just sleek furniture, a neat dining set, and a bookshelf stacked with law textbooks. Luci sighed. "It's... clean." Miguel chuckled. "Are you saying my place lacks personality?" She gave him a small smile. "I'm saying a little mess wouldn't hurt." Miguel shook his head and gestured towards the guest room. "It's yours now. Make as much mess as you want." Luci adjusted Adriana in her arms and walked inside. The room was comfortable, with a neatly made bed, a wooden wardrobe, and a small nightstand with a reading lamp. But it didn't feel like home. Nothing would ever feel like home again. She gently placed Adriana in the crib Miguel had borrowed from a friend. Miguel watched her with quiet concern. "Do you want to eat something?" Luci shook her head. "I just want to sleep." He nodded, not pushing further. "I'll be in my room if you need me." As the door clicked shut, Luci sat on the bed, staring at the walls. Then, slowly, she reached into her bag and pulled out a framed picture of Dotan. She placed it on the nightstand. Even here, he would stay close. Miguel had always been strict but caring. He was the kind of man who didn't express love in words but through actions. He worked long hours as a paralegal at a law firm, yet he still found time to check in on Luci and Adriana. "Have you eaten?" "Do you need money?" "Are you sleeping enough?" That was his way of saying I care. Luci appreciated it, but at times, his over-protectiveness felt suffocating. "You can relax, Miguel. I'm not going to fall apart," she told him one evening. Miguel arched a brow. "Aren't you?" Luci went silent. She still wore her wedding ring. Still talked to Dotan's pictures when no one was watching. Maybe she was falling apart. She just didn't want to admit it. As the months passed, Adriana became Luci's anchor. Her first laugh filled the apartment with warmth. Her first steps were wobbly but determined. Her first words-Mama made Luci break down in tears. "She's growing fast," Miguel noted, watching Adriana attempt to climb onto the couch. Luci wiped her eyes. "Too fast." Miguel leaned against the doorway, arms crossed. "She's strong, like you." Luci looked at him. "I don't feel strong." Miguel's voice softened. "You are." Luci didn't argue. Maybe, one day, she would believe it too. One night, over dinner, Miguel brought up something unexpected. "You should start dating again." Luci nearly choked on her food. "Excuse me?" Miguel took a sip of water. "It's been a year, Luci. You can't stay trapped in the past forever." She set her fork down. "I'm not trapped. I'm just not interested in dating." Miguel exhaled. "I'm not saying you should get married tomorrow. Just... open yourself up to the possibility." Luci's hands curled into fists. "Dotan was my husband. I vowed to love him forever." Miguel's voice was gentle but firm. "And he would never want you to suffer alone." Luci pushed her plate away. "I'm not alone. I have Adriana, and I have you." Miguel studied her for a long moment. "That's not the same, Luci." She looked away, her throat tightening. "I don't want to talk about this." Miguel sighed but didn't push further. "Alright. But just think about it." Luci didn't respond. Because the truth was... She had thought about it. And it made her feel like a traitor.