Chapter 4 ~Chapter 4~ Rekindled Hearts.

Daniel Antonio didn't end his tantrums that easily. He'd come over to my class every day and stand outside, just there staring at me through the window. And just like in Highschool, a lot of girls were drooling at the sight of him. I wondered why he hadn't left the Philippines yet.

Sometimes he'd come with some troupe of guys, other times he'd come alone. It all felt like I was in a movie. I'd ignore him the times he had tried to approach me, I wasn't giving him audience at all.

"Why does he keep doing this? Doesn't he know when to stop, or does he enjoy playing with my emotions?" I complained to my roommates, Lana one day. "Don't you think you should hear him out? I mean the man's been trying to get your attention, don't you think he... maybe deserves a chance?" Lana knows a bit about our history, I told her everything about it. She was a great roommates, and a good confidant too. Good thing she was also my course mate. She got to witness all of Daniel's tantrums. "I don't think I'm ready for that... " "What exactly are you scared of Luna. Daniel might have acted irrationally in the past, but he seems like he's ready to take you seriously now. I mean he's even left school to come here, for you. At least that counts for something, right... ?" She said, giving me a convincing look. She was right, he seems genuine. I just didn't want to give a chance that I'd regret later. "You're right Lana, but it is in fact very hard for me... I mean why me? There's plenty of girls, why me? I just don't believe any of this." I avoided her contact. "Luna look at me... What are you so scared of?" I bent my head down in defeat. What was I actually scared of? 'I actually don't know... I'm probably not ready to go back to being the same high school girl I was; a timid and young high schooler who'd do anything to see a crush. A high school crush who left me heartbroken several times, without even knowing it.' I said, lost in fresh reminiscence of the events of prom night. "Look, it's good that he's here, trying to get my attention. Yayyy, that's great! But he shouldn't expect anything from me. I mean he just disappeared that night, and didn't even try to contact me. What if something had happened... "

"Well it didn't, Luna. Nothing happened to you, you're right here doing fine. You just needed clarity... which he should have given. I know, but give him grace, will you? The man's really working overtime yo!" She had this teasing look on her face. "I'd do anything to have my crush look at me the way he looks at you. Can't you see it? Man's serious about you." Lana had her way with words. She should've been a relationship coach by now. With her uncanny ability to help others get their love lives in order, it was ironic that hers was... a mess.

"I guess you're right, clarity might be what I need right now. I just wanna hear him out... why he didn't reach out to me, after the fire incident. Then maybe, just maybe, that would determine my judgement." At least I hope it would. " Good girl, now let's sort this assignment out, smarty pants." She loved calling me that. But I can't dispute that; I was infact a 'Smarty pants'. She giggled, digging into her bag to get her notes. " And you give Paulo a chance too, he's great guy. Quit giving him an hard time." She looked at me and laughed heartily. "Don't even... " We both laughed and commenced our assignment.

***

I picked up the call, only to hear a familiar voice. "Hi, meet me at the cafeteria in 10 minutes." Daniel. How did he get my number? This was the peak. "How'd you get my number?" I asked. He went silent. " I have my way, just meet me at he cafeteria in 10 minutes. I have something to tell you." "But I asked a... " He hung up before I could complete my sentence. "Urghh, he's so annoying!" I stamped my feet. Was he though? I mean I sort of liked the whole attention. He literally was doing everything possible to convince me he was here. But why am I still hell bent on giving him a hard time? I guess I just don't wanna seem too easy; because I'm not easy. I had a strange smirk on my lips. Was I anticipating our meeting right now. OMG, do I feel myself blushing? I looked into the mirror and my cheeks has turned red already. " Luna, get a hold on yourself. You're meeting for clarity, and clarity alone." It was quite late, I have to rush now so I'd come back before it gets too late. I immediately put on my black dress and left my hair unpacked. I just wanted to hear him out and that was it.

"You look ... breathtaking as usual." He came from behind me, where I was waiting for him, and I was startled. "Don't scare me like that, Daniel." I turned back to face him. He was breathtaking too. How I've missed getting this close to him. Standing by his side now, I began to see potentials. I mean it could work, couldn't it? Although he had the money, family status and much more, I could still fit into his life, couldn't I? These questions began to ring in my head, right there, right in from of him.

"Walk with me." He held my hands and I followed without a choice. "Look Daniel, I'm not here for - " he placed two fingers on my lips, to keep me from saying anymore. " Relax Luna, it'll all make sense now." I don't know what came over me, buy I just felt the urge to be submissive to him. I wanted to be babied all of a sudden. I needed to be my calm and gentle feminine side right now. He had this control over me that I actually loved. As we walked up the stairs, the place void of people, I could only see him. His scent was all I could smell, his touch was all I could feel, I loveee this serenity. He made me feel like a woman, in ways I have never felt before. I didn't want to say anything, but concur with his wishes.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, holding his arms to stop him from walking. He held my hands, as if to calm me down and continued to take me up the stairs with him. We got to the last floor, where I could literally see the sky and moon from. The weather had this soothing feel tonight, made the night seem a little too, perfect. He paused and then looked down at me. "Luna, I know I have taken you around rollercoasters of heartbreaks and heartaches, and I know and feel how much hurt I made you feel, within the past few years. You spent 5 years of your life, yearning for a crush you thought would never look your way. Highschool was not too great for you, you always had to come to school, hoping to be noticed by a crush, who you thought wouldn't even look your way. All those years of you waiting and yearning for me, I too was waiting and yearning for you. I said it all to you at prom night, but allow me to repeat myself. Life hadn't been too fair to me at that time, but having to wake up, anticipating to see you at school made it easier for me to navigate. You helped me heal, Luna." Is this real? Does he mean all of this? So I didn't fall first, we both fell first and harder for each other - but in secret. "What I've learnt these past few years is to project my feelings, and to avoid procrastination. I've had the urge to approach you many times, after I found out we were both had feelings for each other... " " So why didn't you? Why didn't come to me and told me how you felt. All those years of you knowing, and you just- you just decided to cower." He ran his hands into his hair again; I'm guessing that was his stress mechanism. He did that everytime he becomes stressed. " Luna I was scared... " "What were you so scared of? Me?" I was becoming more confused. I looked him in the eyes, and it had turned dark. His blue eyes have now blended with the dark. I could see pain in them. "Here's the thing, I hated rejections. I didn't think you'd accept me. Something told me that I'd hurt you and you'd leave, like she left." I was confused. "Like who left?" Was it his ex girlfriend? I mean I knew he had a lot of female friends, but I didn't exactly see him with a specific girl, who could she be? He went quiet for a while, staring into the void of the night.

"My mum." Ouch. Tears started to fall down his eyes. I wasn't prepared to see him crying like this. I could feel his and at the same time I couldn't. I needed to know how he felt so I could make him feel better. I stopped resisting him and held his hands closer. "What happened to her? Look at me." I held his cheeks with my little palm, which was quite a struggle. I turned his face in my direction, and looked up at him. I searched for answers in his eyes,but all I could see was pain.

" She died in a fire accident, when I was five. We were home alone that day... " He fought the tears from falling down his eyes. "Dad hadn't returned home from work, and it was quite late. I stayed with mum in the kitchen while she was making dinner and we were having a really nice time. I loved spending time with Mum, and we only ever spent time when Dad was out of the house. The landline rang from the living room and then mum told me to wait in the kitchen while she got the call. I was sat on the counter when she left. But then... " His pupils dilate as he paused. He attempted to turn, but I held his cheeks firmly this time, with both hands. "Calm down Daniel, I'm here." I looked at him, hating myself for making him remember the sad incident. I leaned in for a hug and his arms went around my waist, hot tears dripping on my neck. He let it all out, while I patted his back gently with my little hands. He cried like a big baby, and it broke my heart to see him like this. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to. I understand... " He breaks loose from the hug and hold my chin. "I'm fine, I need to." He reassured me, holding my face delicately. He then turned back and continued. "While I was at the counter, I noticed the fire from the gas and I got curious. I looked at Mom in the living, arguing with Dad as usual. They didn't have the best relationship, and so they were always fighting. They always had these big fights that would sometimes lead to my dad leaving home for a couple of days. My mum always felt lonely. She'd have many thoughts in her head about Dad having an affair. When she confronted him, he'd deny it. That day, I saw that mum was distracted got down the counter. I mean what does five year old know about arguments. I just used to see mum cry after series of arguments on the call. I was curious about how the gas brought out fire and so I reached for the cylinder, which wasn't too high up for me, and then I turned it higher than it already was." I could feel his hands were shaking now, so I touched them to calm them down. "She was too engrossed in the call that she only came running when she heard the loud bang on the floor, the pot fell right from the fire. The cylinder was now leaking so hard, now spreading to were the fire was and then before mum could do anything, the fire... " His body became hot. It seemed like he had now travelled back in time to the incident. Now it was all starting to make sense. The fire trauma...

"They were able to get me out alive, but-but- but my mum didn't make it out alive... Report said she was unrecognizable when her b-b-body was brought out... I only have this scar, " he opened his wrist to show me a scar on his wrist. "This was all i got, for a mistake I caused. It's all my fault." I brought his face closer. "Daniel no, none of it was your fault... " "Yes it was. I turned the gas and caused the fire, all of it was my fault." His heart was aching so bad. "Daniel, you were five... " "And stupid! My father blamed me for everything that night, he basically was upset because of his burnt properties, not mum's death. He couldn't care less, cause not long after the incident, he brought in a new wife; she was a 'new mum' , he said. He was clearly having an affair with my step mum before my mum died and I hated him for that, I still do. He makes me feel like everything I did wasn't enough." He bit his lower lips in pain. I didn't like seeing him like this. It breaks my heart. "I am so sorry you had to go through all of that, and most of all, I'm sorry I made you relive those moments. I-I never should have asked. And don't blame yourself for anything, you were just a young sweet child, that couldn't have possibly intended any harm. It was just a mistake. People make mistakes, but I'm so sorry that one mistake claimed the life of someone so important and precious to you. Don't listen to him, it wasn't your fault. Rather than blaming you, he should put the blame on himself. He was the inconsistent father, who didn't care about his family." He now turned to look at me, rubbing his hands on my hands on his cheeks. I wiped off the tears falling down on his cheeks. "You are enough, you are more than enough. Don't let anyone give you the impression that you're not enough." I stretched to give him a peck on his cheeks. His eyes widened. I became shy. Why did I do that? I then retired my hands to my side. "Luna... " He said drawing me closer. " So you see, I never intended on leaving the Philippines. My dad made me leave. He forced me to move into another country because I wouldn't do what he wanted." Oh, so he didn't leave of his own accord? Oh Luna, you judged this man so hard!

"I tried to refuse him and he threatened to cut his ties with me if I didn't. My stepbrother already has an upper hand against me,I didn't want to be at a loss even more, and so I eventually gave in. I moved to New Haven and it just doesn't feel like home. I mean nowhere had really felt like home, but your thoughts have. Thinking of you sort of, gave me the calmness I have always yearned for. I've had dreams about you speculating that you're the one for me." I blushed. "Everything about you is just right. I could stay there for much longer without seeing you, thus my arrival the first time. I made up my mind to see you at prom night. And then the fire incidence happened... " It all made sense now. "It reminded you of that night's incident with your mum... " I felt too guilty now. Daniel has never been the bad guy, it was just circumstances. Dang it! I gave him a tough time all in the name of something he had no control over? Oh Luna. "Precisely. I got flashbacks from the past and I just sort of zoned out that night. I even got a panic attack and I was on the floor for a while. I could hear you calling my name, but it was in echoes, like I had no control over my body motions. I was literally paralyzed. I woke up to find myself in the hospital. My Dad got information that I was in the Philippines and he sent his goons to get me." "Daniel... " I looked up at him, wishing I could change the way I treated him these past few weeks. "I'm sorry... " I said, holding his face passionately. He touched my hands, which were still on his face, and began to rub them in a gentle, continuous motion.

"Don't be, you shouldn't be. You didn't know, and my mistake was that I didn't tell you." This man was making me fall again and again for him. How was he still so calm, despite all that happened? "How are you still so nice, after everything that's happened to you? How are you still such a gentleman? I mean, I gave you a hard time too, and you are still persistent, why? How can one man embody such... perfection?" I became teary, thinking of all he had to go through all the years. "You went through all of these, and all I was concerned about was my feelings, I didn't think of what you were going through, I thought you had... I mean everyone assumed you had it easy all your life. I didn't think of you... I'm really sorry Daniel." I hugged him tight this time and poured out my emotions. The tears were flowing uncontrollably. He embraced me and held tightly unto me. "I was compelled to leave the Philippines again, against my will." I then remember that he wanted to tell me something on the night of prom. "Was this what you wanted to say, that night? You wanted to tell me all of this on that day, right?" "What I wanted to say was... " He holds my hands and draws me closer to him. "Was what... ?" I became nervous all of a sudden. What was he going to say? He moved even closer to me, too close that I moved back from him. He started coming closer, and I was tensed. Was he gonna kiss me? He was staring at my lips now, leaving no space between us. "What I wanted to say was... Luna Gonzalez, would you be my girlfriend?" He reached into his pockets and brought out a ring. Was that a promise ring?! It looked like it. "Uhmm, I- I - I don't know what to say... do you mean this?" I asked looking at the ring on his palm. He reached for my left hand and held it in his. It looked really tiny compared to his. "This is a ying-yang ring, you are ying, and I am yang. Regardless of where we are, different cities, or even different countries, our souls are still connected. You're my Ying and I'm your Yang." I was in awe of how perfect a man can be. I was just 20 and I was already getting a ring - well maybe not a wedding ring, but same thing minor difference. I blushed internally and externally. It was glaring. My cheeks were flushed with redness.This was beautiful, the speech, the man, everything!

"Daniel I ... ", I was too stunned to speak. Just how thoughtful could he be? "I mean yes, yes. Yes I do... I mean I will, yes I will!" I do? Luna come snap out of it, this isn't no marriage proposal! He jumped up in excitement, then I stretched forth my hands and he put the ring on my left ring finger. Oh my gosh, did this just happen?! "Luna, this means a lot to me, you have literally made me the happiest man alive." My eyes beamed with excitement, this was a dream come true. "And you have equally made me the happiest girl alive." I was borderline in tears. " Luna, I want you, I need you. And I'm very determined to make this work, will you stand with me?" He asked, looking deeply inti my eyes. All I could see was a man in-love and ready to risk it all - for me.