Chapter 7 ...a painless procedure

Zara

The train ride to the hospital was nothing short of a nightmare. I almost puked all over the train and the innocent passengers. Why?

A certain man decided to squeeze every drop of juice from my stomach , with his strong cologne. I wouldn't go as far as calling it 'cologne', death trap was more like it.

I was enjoying the scenery and loving the wind on my face when said man got into the seat beside me. I felt my stomach churn in a worse manner than I had experienced at the cafeteria.

So, the whole trip, I had to give myself a pep talk, yunno, not to embarrass my family and all, with my fingers plugging my nose.

The moment I walked into the hospital, I ran straight for the restrooms. I proceeded to puke out everything I had eaten in the last two days.

Now, waiting for my name to be called, I revel in the smell of antiseptic. Have hospitals always smelled so good?

I chuckle lowly.

It's funny because the few times I had accompanied my mom to the hospital for her routine examinations, the hospital never smelled this good .

I am broken out of my thoughts at the sound of the nurse calling my name. "Zara Parkinson?"

"That would be me"

" The doctor will see you now"

I walk after her into one of the consultation rooms lining the hallway. A grey haired woman sits behind a work computer . She offers me a kind smile and points to the seat across hers. "Please , have a seat"

I thank her and politely lower myself onto the comfy chair.

" It says here on the report that you have been running fevers for the past week and you feel the urge to throw up regularly?"

"yes ma'am . Could it be a stomach ulcer ? I haven't been eating regularly"

She smiles. " Oh please, just call me Dr. Meyers. Also, I do not think it is a stomach ulcer. From the initial blood test that was done earlier, this does not seem like the work of a virus."

She regards me over the rim of her glasses. " You said you vomit regularly. Is it triggered by certain smells?"

"Yes, that's right"

"...and when last did you see your period, Miss Zara?"

Now that I think about it, I haven't had my period in one...no, two months. I haven't had my period since...

No!

I look to her with frantic eyes " Please, don't tell me I'm pregnant, doctor"

" I have my suspicions but I can't be sure until further tests are run"

I feel my palms get clammy. No, this can't be ...

" I'm sure there's a mistake somewhere. My period sometimes delays for a few months but I've never been pregnant during those times"

" There's a possibility of PCOS but like I said, we'll need to run more tests."

Sweat drips down the back of my neck. Something tells me it's different this time. I try to recall the details of that night. Did he use protection ? He did!

So what is happening?

The doctor must see me fidgeting because she lays a reassuring hand on mine. " It's alright. No matter what the result says, I'll do my best to guide you through it"

I can only nod.

She presses a button on the landline and the nurse from earlier walks into the room.

" Cindy, please take Miss Zara here to the Ultrasound room. I'll be there shortly."

The nurse, Cindy leads me down a row of doors and turns the knob of one at the end of the hallway. A small tabletop bed leans against the corner of the wall, a screen opposite it.

She hands me a hospital gown and leads me to an adjoining room to get changed. I look up at my reflection through the mirror in the room and I can't help but notice how pale my face has become.

A number of 'what ifs' float through my thoughts. What if I am pregnant, how do I face my parents? How do I bear the stigma of being pregnant outside of wedlock?

I feel my eyes water and I attempt to blink the tears away. Test first, tears later.

I change into the gown and walk back into the examination room. Dr. Meyers is already seated and waiting. She smiles gently when she sees me emerge. She points to the small bed in the corner and I approach it and lay down gently. A cloth is thrown over me from the waist down, while she raises the gown over my stomach.

" There's no need to be nervous. It's a painless procedure"

I nod.

She squirts a cold gel onto my stomach and spreads it gently, in a circular motion with a small handheld device – a transducer, I guess.

"Aha! There's your baby. Healthy by the looks of it..."

Baby...

My baby...

I'm not as surprised as I thought I'd be. Deep down, I expected it. But, how? I'm hundred percent sure he used a condom that night.

"...would you like to hear the baby's heartbeat?"

This whole thing is overwhelming. I don't think I can handle hearing the heartbeat right now. My baby...the word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

" No thank you, doctor. Maybe next time. I'm still struggling to wrap my head around this sudden news."

"That's okay. Is the father in the picture?"

The father...Oh.My.God. I didn't even get his name that night . How could I be so careless?

The tears I had been holding in escapes my eyes and I can't help but cry. Is this how my career ends? Everything I have worked for, about to go down the drain just because of an impulsive decision I made.

Dr. Meyers comes around and places a hand on my shoulder , in comforting pats. After I quiet down, she hands me a tissue.

" I'm sorry if my question upset you. If you are up for it, I could walk you through some programs the hospital offers for single mothers. If you also decide not to keep it, there are options for you too. Although I wouldn't recommend that, seeing as the child is nearing 8 weeks. It could cause some complications."

" I might not have planned this baby but an abortion is out the question. I'll need sometime to think about my decision."

" There's no problem. You can return on your convenience but until then, please stay healthy."

"Thank you"