Chapter 2 The Space Between Us

Lucas didn't notice. Or maybe he did, but he never gave me a reason to think he saw me any differently. After that evening in the backyard, I became more aware of him, of everything about him. The way he ruffled his hair when he was deep in thought. The lazy way he stretched in the morning. The way he leaned back on the couch, scrolling through his phone like nothing in the world could bother him. But to him, I was still just Ava. His younger cousin. The kid he used to tease. It drove me crazy. I started looking forward to the small moments.

The times he'd pat my head absentmindedly when he passed by. The way he'd laugh at my jokes, even when they weren't funny. I held onto those little things, twisting them into something bigger than they were, convincing myself they meant something. But Lucas? Lucas went on with his life. One evening, I was in the living room, pretending to be busy on my phone while secretly watching him. He was sitting on the floor, flipping through a book he'd brought from school. I wanted to say something.... anything to make him look at me. But before I could, my mom walked in. "Lucas, your dad just called," she said. "You should start getting ready. You're leaving in two days." My heart dropped. Lucas barely looked up. "Yeah, he told me already." I froze. Two days? He was leaving in two days? I don't know why it hit me so hard. It wasn't like he was moving to another country. But the thought of not seeing him for months, maybe longer, made my stomach twist. I forced myself to act normal. "Where are you going?" "Back to school first," he said, closing his book. "Then I might do an internship somewhere. Not sure yet." I nodded, gripping my phone tighter. "Sounds fun." He smirked. "You sound like you don't believe that." "I mean, I wouldn't call working fun." Lucas chuckled. "You'll get there soon enough, kid."

Kid. That stupid word made my chest ache. But I smiled anyway, acting like it didn't matter. Like I wasn't secretly counting down the hours until he left.

The night before his departure, the house was quiet. My parents had gone to bed, and I was in the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of water when I heard footsteps behind me. "You're still up?" I turned to see Lucas leaning against the doorway. He looked tired but in a relaxed way, his hair slightly messy. "I couldn't sleep," I admitted, sipping my water. Lucas walked in, grabbing an apple from the counter. "You're acting weird today." I tensed. "No, I'm not." He raised an eyebrow. "You were quiet all evening. That's not normal for you." I shrugged, looking away. "Just thinking." Lucas took a bite of his apple. "About what?" I hesitated. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say, I don't want you to leave. But the words stuck in my throat. Instead, I sighed. "Nothing important." He studied me for a moment, then shrugged. "Alright, if you say so." That was it. No deep conversation. No moment of realization on his part. He just ate his apple, completely unaware of the war going on inside me. And that's when I knew whatever I felt for him, it was one-sided. Lucas didn't see me the way I saw him. He never had. And in two days, he'd be gone. I forced a smile. "Goodnight, Lucas." "Night, Ava." I turned and walked away, swallowing the lump in my throat. If this was how things were meant to be, I had no choice but to accept it. For now. I didn't cry. Not when I woke up and heard my mom saying he'd be leaving by noon. Not when I watched him zip up his bag like it was just another trip. And definitely not when I stood outside, hands stuffed in my hoodie pockets, pretending I wasn't memorizing his face. His dad honked from the driveway. Lucas sighed, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Guess that's my cue." My parents were already giving their goodbyes. My mom hugged him like he was her own son. My dad patted his shoulder, telling him to stay focused. And then it was my turn. I forced a grin. "Try not to work too hard." Lucas smirked. "No promises." We stood there for a second, and I wondered if he'd hug me. He always did when he came back after long trips. But this time, he just reached out and ruffled my hair. Like I was still twelve. Like I wasn't standing there, heart breaking in ways he'd never understand. And then he was gone. I stood in the driveway long after the car had disappeared, staring at the empty space it left behind. He didn't look back.