Chapter 4 The silent struggle

Weeks passed after Kunle's initial inappropriate approach, and Amaka's life devolved into a private struggle she was unable to discuss. Every interaction with Kunle served as a reminder of the peril concealed beneath his ostensibly good exterior, and every moment spent in the house seemed oppressive.

She stayed as far away from him as she could, hiding in her room after school and acting preoccupied whenever he called. However, escape was not always feasible. Her pulse raced with terror as he watched her constantly, his eyes bearing a silent warning.

Amaka's vivacious demeanor started to wane. She stopped laughing with her friends and taking part in group activities at school. Her declining grades and waning passion were noted by her teachers. One afternoon after class, her English teacher inquired, "Amaka, are you okay?" "You seem preoccupied right now."

Amaka forced a smile and said, "I'm fine, ma." "Just worn out."

Her buddies were also concerned. Her best friend Tayo made multiple attempts to persuade her to open up. During lunch one day, she said, "Amaka, you've changed." "You've been really silent lately. What is happening?

Amaka gave a headshake. "Nothin', Tayo. All I'm trying to do is concentrate on my schoolwork.

Tayo, however, wasn't persuaded. She whispered softly, "You can talk to me, you know." "I'll listen to whatever it is."

Amaka desired to inform her. She wanted to cry and shout so that someone else might feel the weight of her misery. But she was slowed down by fear. What if she wasn't believed by Tayo? What if she told someone and Kunle found out? The repercussions can be disastrous.

It wasn't much better at home. Ada was unaware of the tension that was seething beneath the surface because she was preoccupied with her job and domestic duties. Amaka frequently looked at her sister with a mix of love and grief, wanting to be honest with her but being afraid of the consequences.

In contrast, her quiet seemed to embolden Kunle. Whether it was summoning her to the kitchen while pretending to require help or offering to aid with her homework, he kept finding methods to corner her. Every interaction made her feel more limited and confined.

Kunle knocked on Amaka's door one evening when Ada was in the market. "Amaka, could you please assist me with the study for a little while?" he said in a cool, collected tone.

Amaka's heart was racing. The idea of being by herself with him frightened her, but she knew she couldn't say no without drawing suspicion. "I'm sorry, Uncle Kunle, but I'm busy with schoolwork," she said, gathering her confidence.

He was silent for a moment before continuing. "These days, you're always busy," he observed in a somewhat irritated tone. "Amaka, it's just a little favor."

After a few anxious seconds, she heard his footsteps retreating, but she didn't respond. She felt a wave of relief, but it passed quickly. She was aware that he would eventually make another attempt.

Amaka started to fear the evenings when Ada wasn't present. Kunle appeared most bold during those moments, making excuses to go inside her room or hang out in the hallways. She felt increasingly alone and exposed as each encounter eroded her sense of security.

Her journal, where she recorded every word, every glance, and every uncomfortable moment, was her main source of consolation. She found solace in writing as a means of processing her feelings and maintaining some kind of control.

She tried to defend herself, but the consequences of her silence started to weigh heavily. She had trouble falling asleep since she kept having dreams about Kunle's approaches. She lost her appetite and frequently missed meals, saying she wasn't hungry.

Ada became worried after noticing the changes. "You're not eating right, Amaka," she said one night. "What's wrong?"

"No, Sister," said Amaka hastily. "I just have a lot of stress about school."

"You are aware that we can speak, aren't you?" With worried eyes, Ada spoke.

Amaka forced a grin as she answered, "I know." "Really, I'm fine."

She wasn't okay, though. She felt as though she was losing a piece of herself every day as a result of the quiet battle. She yearned for someone to come to her aid, to see behind her façade, to help her get out of the nightmare she was in.

As time passed, Amaka came to see that remaining silent was not only hurting her but also empowering Kunle. She had to figure out how to defend herself, but she was paralyzed by her dread of speaking up. What if she was not taken seriously? What if Kunle struck back?

An idea came to her one day as she was sitting in her room looking at her journal. She might be able to reveal Kunle's actions in another way if she was unable to speak up openly. She made the decision to begin gathering evidence, little bits of proof that would support her allegations if she ever worked up the nerve to tell her story.

Although it wasn't much, it offered her a feeling of direction and a ray of hope in the shadows. She started observing Kunle's behavior more intently, taking note of all the offensive remarks and gestures. Determined to create a case against him, she taped talks and saved texts whenever she could.

The battle went on in silence, but Amaka now had a strategy. Although it wasn't flawless and didn't take away the hurt or the anxiety, it was a step in the right direction toward taking back her authority and voice. She was unsure of how or when to use the facts, but she was certain that she would not let Kunle's behavior to define who she was.

That night, while lying in bed and gazing up at the ceiling, she silently prayed for strength. Amaka felt a glimmer of hope for the first time in weeks, but the fight was far from over. No matter how long it took or how difficult it was, she was determined to live. Even though the darkness were drawing near, she resisted letting them take over her entirely.