Chapter 5 A slap

Now what !! I asked myself after passing two-story buildings. I have been walking on my way home, and I have even started to feel guilty; I wish I couldn't have gotten out today; I wish I had gone out with a driver; I would have been home by now.

I think I would have avoided all this, I murmured, but at the same time, why should I be dependent? I am a complete human, right? And I can do this on my own !! After all a little walk doesn't hurt. Does it?

Exactly!! Conquer your fears, I heard the voice in my head saying to me.

I felt so sick, I didn't even understand myself; I didn't understand why this voice existed inside my head, and why now !! Why now?

Why not years ago,

I will never be able to accept that I have a second living voice inside my head, talking and replying to me like I am something like... I don't know !!

Could be a programmed computer? Silly me !! I mumbled and giggled a little funny how I am accepting my situation andaugh about it . It was late, but I was grateful to see that there were a lot of people still walking here and there. In a far, I saw the mansion.

I was home and I squealed with excitement. Our neighbourhood was extremely quiet, but the good thing is that people were there walking here and there, others were walking their dogs, and some were jogging!

It's around 8pm, I can't believe myself. I don't know how my parents are going to react. Are they worried about me? Is mom worried too? Is she crying wanting me back home? I want to know.

I just want to know how it feels when your mom gets worried sick, I am not trying to be ungrateful, but I just ... yearn for her care; I want to be close to her just like how I am close to Dad.

But she closes her boundaries with me, and I don't know why,

She loves me, I know that! But .. but her love is different, I believe, but I also have a dad who cares and shows me all that I want to have and see in him, love and affection and his care.

" I am his princess and nothing can change that !"

I rang the bell after I reached home, and the watchman came and opened the door after looking at me,

Oh my god! People are going nuts looking for you, madam; The drivers have been sent out to go look for you, " Come in, come in, go before your dad snaps to every one of us !!"

He is worried sick, he says to me! What about mom? Is .. she worried too !!? Is she worried about me? I whispered to him.

He stayed silent and nudged me to get inside; I walked slowly to the house and opened the front door; the lights were dim.

I averted my gaze on the floor, I wasn't prepared to meet my dad's angry face. Oh my goodness! Thank god, my dear, you are home!! I heard my dad's worried face.

He came to me and hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead, he took his phone and called someone, I didn't want to know who he was calling.

Oh my god !! Princess, you have got me worried; he was frustrated, I could see that; I am sorry, Dad!! I am sorry I made you worried

Tears streamed down my face as I felt how stupid I was and how desperate I was to feel my mom's affection.

I feel so stupid!! I tell him truthfully, please don't say that, darling; I am glad that you are okay and .. and that you are getting better.

I know you have been trying to prove to us that you.. you can protect yourself alone by standing on your ground!! He kissed my cheek and ruffled my hair.

I am proud of you darling," he whispered and embraced my body. "

Thank you, Dad, for understanding.

In queue, I felt my body being turned, and a tight echoing slap was heard on the house as it landed on my cheek.

How dare you !! You stupid frog how dare you leave the house and make my husband worried !!?

" Casandra !!" Dad yelled and pulled me off from my mom's wrath, don't you ever dare lay your hands on our daughter!! Ever !!

It's like I was numb, I felt numb all of a sudden. I am sorry!! I tell her with tears.

You better be, you can't change, you will always be the way you are Amelia, stop trying and giving us a heart attack,

You know the condition which you are in but you still can't accept who you are !! She spat.

Stop it, Cassandra!! Just stop it!! How dare you talk to her like that? Huh! Can't you see that she has been affected by all that's happening?

Do you think she likes being what you are referring her to be? She wants to be normal !! She wants to get normal like other adults. Please stop throwing your lewd comments at her; this isn't her fault!!

Can't you have any compassion? For goodness sake, she is your daughter !! My dad yelled. It's okay, Dad, I tell him.

M.. Mom is right !! I shouldn't make any of you worried. No darling, please don't listen to her, you can and you will fight this. He said and embraced me after I broke down crying.

Get your face out of my sight; you disgust me sometimes, Cassandra!! Dad spat, I could feel my whole body shivering and trembling.

" listen to me, princess, your mom loves you; she just doesn't know how to show her affection as I do ." Please understand her, she has been worried but she will understand you if not now then later, I am sure she will.

I know, Dad, I know !! I replied to him.

I walked to my room after a few minutes and went directly to my bathroom. " I hate this feeling of being insecure and vulnerable at the same time. "

It feels like my heart wants to be torn into pieces, or am I being selfish in asking for my mom's attention. ?

Her attention is rare to me, and she has never given me her attention; all she cares about is her reputation and how I should behave around people.

Stop it !! You are going to make me burst with all of your thoughts inside this thick head of yours; I heard the voice inside my head telling me, making me go stiff like always !!

I closed my eyes and soon I stripped and walked to the bathtub, shit !! I cursed after seeing my period. How didn't I know about this? I mumbled and entered the bathtub.

I took my time, scrubbing my skin and after some good minutes of playing with the bubbles and humming some soft tunes, I went out and rinsed my body.

I felt so relaxed; I went out and went directly to my closet, took my pyjamas and took my pad; I felt so clean and fresh.

I went to the kitchen and took some milk from the fridge and some " dattes!!" I devoured them. After all, I was hungry.

My thoughts shifted to what happened today at the police station, Marcus !! I murmured his name and felt blushing, my cheeks reddened, he was handsome. I shook my head, shooing away the stupid thoughts.

Soon, I went back to my room for a good night's sleep. I wish to wake up and find all my problems solved before the sun shines, I mumbled before closing my eyes.

"That's a very hard wish and request to make, " I am not sure if it's the voice in my head or my subconscious replying to me.