Chapter 3 HOPE

Without saying anything else, I turned around and left, feeling a sense of numbness come over me as I made my way outside. I no longer wanted to stay in this place. I didn't want to wait there, unnoticed, as my husband once again disregarded me. The pain in my chest was unbearable, as it seemed like a piece of me was disappearing with every move.

Getting home, I was greeted by a deafening silence. I placed my keys on the table and scanned the vacant room. I had made an effort to be patient and understanding, allowing Jake the necessary time to mourn. While sitting in the peacefulness of our apartment, I came to the realisation that despite being patient and understanding, I still felt so left out and forgotten.

Feeling a vibration in my pocket, I took my phone and saw multiple calls from Jake that I had missed. A little bit of excitement made my heart skip a beat. Maybe he had come to see his actions, or maybe he had just now noticed the fact that he had caused me pain, leaving me. I held my breath as I listened to the voicemail.

"Sarah," he spoke in a cold and distant tone. "I have been calling you for a while, but you didn't pick them up. Isabel said that you were not nice to her today. You must tell her you're sorry.

Currently, she is in a fragile condition and needs help. I don't know what has gotten into you, but you must stop this behaviour.

I looked at my phone, sensing that the remaining hope within me was gone. He didn't phone to check on my well-being or ask if I wanted his help. He wasn't even aware of my presence in the hospital. His only concern was ensuring Isabel's was comfortable, even if it meant insisting that I apologise to her for something I was not responsible for.

He continued to pick her instead of me time and time again, and now he was instructing me to say sorry to the woman who caused a rift in our relationship!!!

I placed my hand on my belly, sensing a strong sense of protection for the unborn life within me. I had to put a stop to this. I couldn't continue living in this manner, constantly waiting for the moment when Jake would acknowledge me as his wife? Now I had a child to consider, a child who needed a strong mother who wouldn't allow herself to be dismissed just because of some sister in law.

As I sat down, I was thinking of the actions I needed to take. I had to face Jake. I ask him to think about the suffering he was inflicting, to understand the extent of the pain he was causing me. I could no longer remain quiet, and could no longer wait for a change that would never happen.

I will express my feelings to him tomorrow. I would help him realise the true impact of his actions on our marriage and the future we had planned together.

I wanted him to see me differently - not as someone to overlook or dismiss, but as his wife, the mother of his child, and as someone deserving of respect.

As I lay down to sleep, I was determined not to allow him, or anybody else, to diminish my self-esteem anymore.

I hadn't slept much after deciding to confront Jake. The idea of standing up for myself, of insisting that he see the pain he had inflicted on me, prevented me from sleeping. However, my plan didn't go as expected when morning came.

Immediately I saw Jake. I had to muster up my courage by practising the words in my mind that I would say. However, he caught me off guard by slowly coming closer to me. With a gentle approach and a soft look on his face, he held my waist and shoulder as he led me to the couch. At that moment, I felt confused, considering the possibility that he had finally realised the amount of the pain he had caused me.

He said "Sarah," in a gentle, soothing tone. "I am aware that it has been difficult recently. You've had to handle a lot of things because of Isabel. And I'm sorry about that, However, it is important for you to know how important she is at this moment."

I wanted to say something, but he gripped my hand firmly, his face filled with desperation. "Isabel is mourning the loss of Alex. She is having difficulties with her pregnancy, and the truth is... we are the only ones she has. My brother did an excellent job looking after her. I believe I have a responsibility to take care of her now and ensure that she is alright. Can you understand that?"

His words, his pleading eyes, it all made my frustration simmer down. He wasn't excusing his neglect of me, but I could see that his love for his brother was real and that it was driving his behavior more than I had thought. For a moment, the walls around my heart began to soften. This wasn't about replacing me. He genuinely felt a responsibility for Isabel, believing that it was what Alex would have wanted.

"Sarah, please," he continued, his hand now resting on my shoulder. "Just try to make things easier for Isabel. I know she can be difficult, but she's hurting, too. And I need you with me on this."

He looked at me with those eyes that had once been filled with promises, and despite myself, I felt my defences falter. I wanted to believe him, to trust that he still cared. "Fine," I murmured, not quite meeting his gaze. "I'll... I'll try. For your sake."

Jake's face relaxed, a small smile touching his lips. "Thank you, Sarah. I know this hasn't been easy for you, but I promise I'll make sure it gets better, I just need some time."