Chapter 3 Selena's Alpha

The darkness of the night felt as if it had physically attached itself to Selena as she hastily tried shoving all her items into a single worn-out suitcase.

Mooncrest was dark, the pack's den most quiet, as if the earth itself was deep in slumber.

But at this very moment, inside Selena, she was rather sure that this was the last place she would find peace in sleep. Not after everything that had happened.

For a moment, she hung her head, so that her fingers could range over the frayed corners of the suitcase and allowed it to wash over her.

The pain, the backstabbing, the words Damian had given her with his utterly distant gaze, resolutely wiped away any ties they had in just one phrase. 'You don't belong here. You will never be my Luna, you will never be good enough for me,' he told her.

The memory of that rejection weighed heavily on her above all else, yet still, another feeling plagued her breast, a feeling that was a secret even to herself, in respect that she had not even had time to think over.

Her hand slipped to the slim outline of her belly which was as yet barely perceivable but already so dear. Her baby. His baby. Protective yet scared beyond proportion. How could she possibly handle this by herself?

The wind outside tried to whistle into her ears, asking her to be quick. It was hard to tell who might wake up or when and who would be bothered about her absence or track her down.

Not that anyone would, she thought with bitterness. There was no mistaking that Damian's rejection sought to emphasise that she was nothing but a pack member to him. If she were to vanish, who would give a damn?

But, as she pulled up the zipper of her bag, Selena was aware that she had to be strong because there was also a life dependent on her inside her.

With a final look around, she sneaked outside of her small cave. This was everything. This was everyone she had ever known since she was little. Mooncrest had been her universe, her kin, her haven. At this point, however, it seemed rather strange. An outlandish concept; a semblance of a living existence that was hers once but no longer is.

Before she seemed to unfold the way out of the territory, long and terrible. Every shadow seemed to be following, every rustling leaf felt like an order from the pack, telling her to turn back. She tried to ignore the images, breathed out slowly, in and out, and took the first step, and then the next.

Her hand remained on her abdomen as if hoping that there was some solace in the gesture for herself or the child she grew within.

The woods were very thick and empty, the only disturbing cacophony being the sparse hoots of owls or something furry scampering at the bushes. Selena found herself in a rush, the crisp air of the night refreshing but slightly frosty on the skin. There was not enough warm clothing on her; a light jersey provided did not amuse. But she would be fine. She had no choice.

With the sun threatening to rise and painting the forest a light shade of pink, Selena stopped for a moment to respite.

She moved her back to a tree, getting some support as her hand found its way to her tummy, where she felt an agonising sensation that coursed through her. A gasp found its way out as she held onto her waist with dread filling her. What was happening? Was the baby alright?

The quiet expanse of the wilderness was cut short by her voice as she said almost to herself, "I will make it...on my own... somehow."

Still, the determination in her tone rendered useless the armoured sense beneath, because there still lurked an element of fear.

Kneeling on the rough ground with her back against the tree trunk, she shut her eyes. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

She had imagined so much more, a family, a mate who cared for her, somebody to relish the joys and the fears with her when she first felt her baby kick. But instead, she wasn't home, with the much-needed structure and security. She was out in the woods, grappling with the abyss of uncertainty.

The day broke gradually in the tree-filled intersection as the skies appeared bright and yellowish-orange.

At the moment, at least, she thought she would rise from her seated position and head on with her travel, and a sound coming from behind her caused her to stop.

She released a long breath. Still, she could sense that someone or something was on her or about to arrive.

Her wolf self was alert and braced for any possible threats. Every instinct told her to run away from the place and find a safer place but she could not because she had to remain in place. It was a painful contest between the few rational thoughts and the feminist in her that screamed to survive.

She stood ready to go on, but another bout of anguish enveloped her, one that was more severe than before.

She swayed, a hand reaching for a nearby tree for balance as her surroundings began to swirl. Breaths came out of her in bursts, and she bent forward, her free hand grasping her abdomen, as her mind feared the worst.

"Please don't tell me this is happening," she said, barely audible as her voice cracked. "Not now..."

The ache subsided but left a weakness and dizziness behind. She remade her sitting position but also tried to calm herself by deepening her inhalation.

Just then, when impenetrable despair began to crush her, she heard someone walking towards her.

Her heart stopped, and the girl looked up straight away, preparing to run. But there was no pack member or a threat; it was a maternal woman with calm and warm-looking eyes.

"Is everything alright, little one?" this woman asked, her tone soothing the frayed edges of Selena's frayed nerves.

The girl was indecisive about how to handle the situation. Fortunately, the woman's expression was neither scary nor hostile – it was simply worried.

"I... I am good," she said, confining herself to the weak response even when she was already aware that it was not true.

The woman squatted down next to her and, with her flint eye, entertained a few thoughts about her. "You are not fine," she said in a soft voice. "You are pregnant and out of this wilderness alone. This isn't good."

Selena touched her abdomen with her hand, instinctively resisting the pressure on her stomach and lowering her guard. "I had to go," she said in a small voice. "There was no choice."

The woman shook her head as if she were regarding what it was that Selena failed to explain in words. "Anyway, let us go," she said and offered her hand to Selena.

"Where?" Selena asked.

"Just follow me. You look like you're in a lot of pain."

Selena followed her to what seemed to be a cottage.

The woman signalled to Selena to take a seat, then vanished into another room only to shortly emerge with a rug and a hot cup of tea. "Drink this," she instructed, as she handed the steaming cup to Selena. "It will relieve the pain."

Selena gratefully took the tea, taking her time to sip it. The heat radiated inside her, soothing her rattled emotions and the discomfort in her belly. She averted her gaze back to the older woman, a warm sensation settling in her chest.

"Thank you," she murmured. "I... I don't even know your name."

The older woman beamed, her eyes crinkling. "Just Miriam will do," she offered. "And you do not have to thank me, my dear. We all need assistance from time to time."