Chapter 5 I'm a Monster

Cypress POV

The room was dimly lit, shadows pooling in the corners as I lay sprawled across the bed, tangled in sheets that reeked of perfume and sweat. It was a scent I was accustomed to by now, a reminder of the countless faces and bodies that passed through my quarters in recent months. Faces that meant nothing, each one as forgettable as the last. Nothing satisfied me for long, and yet, something deep within still simmered with rage.

Octavia.

The name twisted like a blade in my gut. I'd sent her away, thrown her to the wolves in the most literal sense, hoping that putting her out of my sight would let me feel at peace. But even after ordering Finn to sell her, the thought of her lingered, gnawing at my insides like a festering wound. No matter how many I took to bed, no matter how I tried to bury the bitterness, she was still there-an itch that couldn't be scratched, a shadow that refused to disappear.

I clenched my fists and closed my eyes, breathing in deeply, forcing myself to calm down. The anger was getting worse. Ever since the mating announcement, my wolf had been restless, more unpredictable. I could feel him seething, lurking closer to the surface. The rage simmered hotter and hotter each night, and it was starting to terrify even me. I was an alpha, in control-or so I thought.

But that night was different. The air felt heavy, charged, like a storm gathering just beneath my skin. The woman beside me stirred, tracing her fingers along my chest in a lazy, possessive way that made me tense. Her face was nothing but a blur in my mind, her scent already mingling with the others I'd discarded.

"Cypress," she murmured, her voice a throaty purr as she leaned into me.

Her touch sparked a flare of irritation. I'd had enough. "Get out," I snapped, peeling her hand off me.

Her expression changed, from sultry to hurt, but I didn't care. She had no place here, none of them did. She hesitated, probably thinking she could coax me into changing my mind. She was wrong. "I said get out."

She scrambled to gather her clothes, muttering something under her breath, but her words faded as a strange sensation prickled through me. A surge of heat flooded my veins, an uncontrollable, savage urge clawing its way to the surface.

My skin tingled, and a sharp pain lanced through my body, as if my very bones were straining against me. I gritted my teeth, my vision blurring, hands trembling as I clenched them tighter. My wolf's presence was strong, closer than ever, but this was... different. More intense, more furious. It felt wrong, strange, a rage that burned hotter than anything I'd ever felt.

And then I lost myself.

The room blurred, sounds merging into a deafening roar as I felt my body twist, bones breaking, reforming. But it wasn't the same. I'd transformed countless times, felt the familiar shape of my wolf take over. This was different. The pain was sharper, deeper, and when I finally managed to open my eyes, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the dark glass of the window.

What stared back at me wasn't my wolf.

It was a creature far larger, its eyes glowing a fierce, unnatural yellow, fangs longer, claws sharper. My fur, usually a dark brown, was now a silvery gray, streaked with shades of black that seemed to ripple and shimmer under the moonlight. My limbs were more massive, muscular, built for destruction. This wasn't a wolf. This was... something else. Something ancient, primal.

A lycan.

Shock coursed through me, snapping me back for a brief moment as I tried to comprehend what I was seeing. Lycanthropes were a myth, a legend that even the strongest packs whispered about but never saw. They were said to be cursed beings, wolves that had forsaken the goddess's path. But there I was, staring at my own monstrous reflection.

My thoughts fragmented, my instincts overpowering any rationality left. The beast within was fully in control, hungry, violent. I felt the fierce pull, the bloodlust so overwhelming that everything around me blurred.

The woman-she was still here.

The smell of her, that cloying perfume, mingled with my rage, triggering something feral. Before I could stop myself, I lunged, my claws tearing through the air, meeting the softness of flesh.

A scream tore through the night, high and desperate, but it did nothing to stop me. My fangs sank into her shoulder, ripping, shredding, her body nothing more than a fragile shell against the wrath that consumed me. I was lost in a haze of blood and fury, the coppery taste flooding my senses, drowning me until there was nothing left but silence.

When I finally came to, I was sprawled on the floor, the coolness of the stone pressing against my skin. I was naked, trembling, drenched in sweat. The smell of blood was thick, clinging to the air like a suffocating blanket. My head pounded, memories flashing in fragments-her scream, the violence, the rage that had consumed me.

I forced myself to sit up, the room spinning as my gaze landed on the broken body sprawled across my bed. She was unrecognizable, shredded beyond belief, her limbs twisted at unnatural angles. My stomach lurched, and bile rose to my throat as the full weight of what I'd done settled over me.

My heart thundered, a cold sweat breaking out over my skin. This wasn't a simple loss of control. This was something darker, something that went against everything I believed I was.

Before I could process any further, the door creaked open, and I heard a gasp. My personal maid stood there, her eyes wide with horror as she took in the blood-streaked room, her gaze darting from the mutilated body on the bed to me, crouched naked on the floor.

A scream erupted from her, piercing and shrill, echoing off the walls. She stumbled back, her hand flying to her mouth as she tried to process the nightmare before her. Her gaze locked on mine, pure terror shining in her eyes. She looked at me as if I were a monster-as if I were something less than human.

Before I could say anything, hurried footsteps approached, and the door swung open again.

Finn.

He stepped into the room, his expression unreadable at first, but as he took in the scene, his face paled, and his eyes went wide. His gaze moved from the shredded remains of the girl to me, and for the first time, I saw something in his eyes I'd never seen before.

Shock.