Chapter 3

The next morning, I woke up amidst a sea of empty bottles.

"Morning." Brandon, with his hair in a disheveled mess, looked at me with innocent eyes.

I rubbed my sore neck and back, having slept awkwardly on the coffee table, and commanded him, "Forget everything that happened yesterday."

In truth, nothing physical happened between us last night, but I was venting like a scorned lover about Howard. What's worse, I even mistook Brandon for Howard, hitting and kicking him in my drunken stupor.

As I snatched up my bag to storm out, Brandon suddenly asked, "You're really planning to divorce?"

"Yes." Howard and I never had a wedding, and because he didn't want to make it public, our marriage had been in shadow all along.

"Where did you go last night?" I asked as I returned home to change clothes. Howard should have been asleep. But this time, he was sitting on the sofa smoking.

"None of your business." I ignored his smoking, as it was his own body and had nothing to do with me. For once, I dared to defy him, "We're getting divorced anyway."

"Since we're not divorced yet, I have the right to know." Howard's grip on my wrist was painfully tight, and his gaze was somewhat inscrutable.

"Howard, I'm really tired." I used all my strength to push him away. "It was my mistake to fall for you back then. Now since your dream girl is back, I'll step aside."

His phone suddenly rang, and hearing the woman's voice on the other end, I couldn't help but sneer.

When Elin asked him when we were getting divorced, I grabbed the phone and told her we'd do it today.

As I walked out of the court, I saw Elin coming to pick him up, and it felt ridiculous.

I had wasted seven years of my life, yet nothing had changed in the end.

Before I was with Howard, he had a girlfriend of five years. They were the ideal college couple. However, after Howard's car accident left him paralyzed from the waist down, their plans for marriage were abruptly halted.

Howard's mother wasn't fond of Elin, so she orchestrated a soap-opera-like twist between her son and the opportunity to study abroad. Predictably, Elin took the money and left Howard, who was likely to spend the rest of his life bedridden, and went abroad.

As a junior who had silently admired Howard, I finally caught his attention during this difficult phase of his life. I visited him in the hospital almost every day, trying to cheer him up.

After a painful and arduous rehabilitation, he gradually regained the ability to sit and then stand. Naturally, we developed into a couple.

"Let's be together." Even though he didn't mention love or affection, I eagerly jumped into the sea of love.

Over four years, we had happiness and sorrow, but we were still together. Finally we married when he turned thirty.

I once thought that leaving Howard would be unbearable, but when I held the divorce certificate in my hand, my feelings were complex-a mix of relief and grievance.

I called my friend Dora, who had watched me struggle over the years, and said, "I got divorced. Let's go out and have some fun." I actually enjoyed going out, but over the years, I restrained myself to strive to be the perfect wife.

"You've finally come to your senses," Dora sighed, having always thought my one-sided devotion was undeserved. Indeed, I had fully realized that.

I would no longer sacrifice my dignity and self-respect for a one-sided love.