Chapter 4 Exhausted

EDWARD

"I'll always be missing them. I'm alone now; they were the only family I had."

I think that was the saddest thing I've ever heard her say. Something happened to me when I heard her sob. This delicate aspect of her was unfamiliar to me. Especially with me around, she was always feisty.

Her care always irritated me. She still had it in her heart to be nice to me, even after our marriage, despite the way I treated her. such as cooking, enquiring about my day, striking up a conversation with me, etc. It wasn't to my liking. I did not want her to act as though this marriage held hope.

I'd told her straight out that I wanted no part of this marriage. that until we figured out a way out of this marriage, we would spend our lives apart.

I had no faith in love. Not any longer.

Reluctant to listen to her sobs any longer, I made an announcement and cleared my throat. The scene was broken as soon as both women withdrew. Jane excused herself to take Evelyn's belongings to her room, so it was just the two of us.

She continued to stare at her empty glass rather than at me. I moved to the kitchen island and sat down across from her, sipping some of Jane's homemade apple juice.

"So, you managed to get home." I made an effort to elicit her typical response so I wouldn't have to witness this depressed side of her.

For a while, I didn't enjoy it.

At last, I noticed an irritation in her gaze when she raised her head. You are an idiot. You were lying to me, I knew that. You weren't present at that meeting, did you?

I swigged some of the juice. "I did. It was completed barely one minute after you hung up the phone."

"So why not come get me later? Edward, you enraged me. If I hadn't called, you wouldn't have told me you couldn't come get me."

She was now truly enraged. Alright. This is the one that I like better.

"Well, you're home now so no need to get angry anymore."

"I must admit, I was afraid. Everyone had departed." Sighing, she averted her gaze. Although she was whispering to herself, I could hear her say, "Thankfully Matthew was there and drove me home."

How in the hell?

"Your supervisor? Did he drive you here?

Her boss taking her home didn't sit well with me. No. Her being with other men didn't sit well with me. She was my spouse.

"What is the issue? He was there by coincidence, and you declined to come get me."

As in, how corny was that?

"I'm not grateful that another man looked after you. I'm not good at sharing what's mine."

That's not what I was intended to say. However, when I indicated that I preferred not to share what was mine, I meant it. Despite my dislike for her, she was my wife. My own. "Oh my goodness, let go of your jealousy card! Don't act as though you suddenly care about me when, for the previous six months, you never have. You are not necessary for me."

"Believing you had a choice was your first error. Recall that we are married. You're representing me. You are mine."

Her eyes become more intensely fiery. "You are not my owner, by any means. You do not own me. She was fire, and I only bear your name because I had to. However, I was also on fire.

"You should've thought about that before you sold yourself to me."

Poor language. That wasn't the right thing to say to her. She didn't deserve that low blow, and it was one.

I swear I saw agony in her eyes as they widened. I thought she was going to fight back, but instead, she got up suddenly and left me alone in the kitchen.

*

It was a very calm ride to my folks' house. It was silent as usual, but more so now because the woman next to me had not spoken since our disagreement in the kitchen.

Silence has never bothered me. I was hankering after it. However, I didn't enjoy the quiet tonight. Evelyn should have said anything, anything at all. I wanted to fight with her, just like we used to. That's what we were doing.

I continued to glance at her periodically, but she never gave me a look. She completely ignored me and continued to stare out the window.

I wanted to apologize and say something. But I couldn't open my mouth.

At last, we arrived at my folks' home. I could see her fully for the first time after we got out of the automobile.

Her emerald sleeveless dress hung loosely around her knees. Beneath her, her thick brown hair spread out, long enough for me to put my fist around it. She never knew this, but I've always thought she was breathtaking. She is someone any man would die for. And that bastard was me.

I gazed longingly at her chest. The number of times I wanted to cup those breasts and feel them in my hands was so great that I lost count.

It wasn't right of me to think that way about her. It wasn't meant for me to like her. However, I acknowledged that I might or might not find her attractive. She was a stunning woman, so it was difficult not to.

When she noticed that I was staring at her, she wrinkled her brows and blushed slightly.

I moved up front. "You look beautiful."

Considering that it was my very first compliment to her, she appeared taken aback. I was also taken aback by myself.

She averted her gaze. "I'm grateful. Come on, let's go."

We would have to be polite to each other as soon as we entered my parents' home.

As soon as my mother spotted us, she said, "About time you guys!" She approached us and hugged me first. "Oh, I've missed my baby so much."

She kissed me on the cheeks like she was attacking me. To my great disappointment.

With a moan, I attempted to disengage. "Mum, give it up. I'm an adult."

Beside me, Evelyn laughed quietly. Then my mum grabbed her into an embrace. Yes, I have also missed my daughter. Dear, how are you doing? How is your treatment at home by my little Edward?"

"El, I've been alright. And Edward has been quite kind to me."

We were both aware it was untrue.

"Excellent, excellent. The dinner is ready, hurry up."

Those of us seated around the table. Evelyn thanked me incoherently as I pulled out a chair for her. I sat down next to her. Opposite us sat my parents.

While my mother and Evelyn discussed fashion, my father and I got buried in a discussion about our jobs. Even though I had usually done this whenever we were in public, Evelyn froze as I suddenly laid my hand on her back. She was uptight with me tonight, but normally she would warm up after a bit.

She leaned forward a little as if trying to wiggle away from me. I had to remove my hand from her back because she leaned back to rest on the backrest when there was no longer room for her front to lean. She didn't want my touch, and I could have sworn she did it on purpose.

She had the incorrect idea if she believed she could get away from me.

Rather, I reached over and entwined our fingers, taking her right hand off of her right leg. When my parents weren't looking, she gave me a tiny jump and scowled.

"Let go of my hand." She attempted to take her hand away from mine while I read her lips.

I clutched her hand tightly and pretended not to comprehend her as I carried on speaking with my father. She sighed and let me hold her hand since she knew I wasn't going to let her go.

My mother quickly remarked, "So, when am I gonna carry my first grandchild?" Evelyn choked on her water. "Oh dear, are you okay?"

I was astounded too.

My father told her, "It's too early to be asking for a grandchild, darling."

Evelyn cleared her throat. "I'm doing OK. I apologize for my rudeness.

I ran a thumb over the back of her hand. She looked down at it but did not attempt to release it.

"Don't worry, sweetie. Perhaps it's too soon to inquire about it.

I suddenly became nervous when my mother brought up the subject. Because Evelyn and I usually behaved nicely around our parents, they were unaware of the fact that Evelyn and I weren't friends.

We also never talked about having a baby because it had never occurred to us. Not that we got along well enough to have a child together.

"To be honest, El and I haven't talked about it. How long has it only been that Edward and I have still getting to know one another? Six months?" She attempted to persuade them. She glanced at me for encouragement. "We want to take things slow before starting a bigger family."

My mum sighed and then grinned. "All right, kids, take your time. Don't take too long, though! You know, I'm not getting any younger," I said with a dejected smile. "We'll try, Mum."

This was not good. Having a child was not part of our original plan. It was not intended to occur. Luckily, my mother changed the subject of the baby, and we carried on with our dinner as if the previous exchange had happened.

Despite my repeated attempts to catch her attention, Evelyn did not glance at me during the remainder of the supper. She ignored me and busied herself conversing with my folks as I leaned closer to her and gently brushed her hand with my thumb.

And I was sick of her cold shoulder by the time we got home.

"We need to talk." As she headed upstairs, I stopped her.

She paused, but she didn't look at me. "I'm exhausted. When can we talk again?"

I went with her. "I'd rather talk now."

She sighed and at last, turned to face me. "Edward, what do you want? You've bothered me enough this evening, don't you? You called me a prostitute first.

"I never said that!"

You weren't required to. You alluded to it. Recall? In essence, you told me that I had sold myself to you. That's how a prostitute is defined."

With a sigh, I shut my eyes. "What I stated was not intended. I was upset. You're not a sex worker."

"Yes, you were furious. Edward, though, I didn't deserve it. Not even a little bit," she uttered, and her eyes seemed to light up. "Secondly, when your mother asked for a grandchild, you allowed me to tidy up our mess by myself during supper. I turned to you for support. You allowed me to speak for us, though. I also required your assistance."

She begged me to glance back at my parents' house, but I refused to assist her. I had no idea what to say to my folks. I believed she could handle it without my assistance. "And you didn't even bother to apologize to me, you didn't think about how I feel," I said. Why, though, am I not surprised? You never seem to give a damn about how I feel."

I turned my head back to face her, but she had turned her head away. She appeared worn out and anxious, and I was partially to blame for that. I tried to get in touch with her, but I was unable.

She inhaled sharply. "I believe I have said enough. Please feel free to say anything more you would like to say. I'm genuinely exhausted."

"I- you can go to your room, Evelyn."

She had disappointment in her eyes. If I were her, I would also be. She turned away, leaving me alone to consider what I had done on the steps.

"I'm sorry," I spoke softly enough that only I could hear myself.

*****