Chapter 4 Regrets

"And who are you to ask me that?!" His fury lashed me like a whip.

I recoiled in fear, tears blurred my vision. This was his attitude. It was just a week after my wedding to Jaxon, the CEO of XM company. I had no choice. Hailey's life was at stake, I had to give in. Moreover, it didn't seem like a bad idea after seeing he was the same guy I had spilled coffee on. I had been infatuated with him ever since. I could live with him because he was not totally bad.

But ever since I stepped my feet into the house, he had let me know he was not into me. I got the part that I was not his type but at least, he could try to respect me. Respect our union. Going out at whim and not returning when he was supposed to was a disrespectful slap on my face.

I agreed there was the comfort but what about my dignity? My happiness? Did that not matter too? He did not take that into consideration too?

"I am your wife, Jaxon. I deserve to be respected. You can not just leave the house and keep late nights, sometimes, not coming home at all." I uttered amidst tears. The fact that my feelings for him we're not reciprocated hurt more than I ever bargained for.

"In paper only. Moreover, what more do you want? Is there anything you want that I don't give to you?" He sneered, as though he was mocking. Daring me to deny the fact that I had married him for the money.

"Everything is not just about money and comfort, Jaxon. I deserve to be loved, please." It was killing my pride to hear me beg desperately for his love. This was not how I'd envision my life to go but what choice did I have? This was my marriage, I had to find a way to make it work.

"Love? What do you know about love, Ayla? You know nothing of the word. It's all you girls out there say just to make a man become foolish and empty his account for you. I know you're poor, but you do not have to sink that low." He spat angrily.

My heart dropped to my stomach. Shame and humiliation washed over me. Oh my goodness, he was mocking me. He was outrightly telling me he was doing me a favor by staying married to me. Tears streamed, sobs shook my frame. I placed a trembling hand over my mouth to prevent more sobs from escaping. "H-how c-can y-you say s-something like that, Jaxon?"

He glared pointedly at me, nailing me with his furious eyes. "Tell me I'm lying, Ayla. Prove to me that I'm wrong!"

I kept quiet. My phone rang and when I checked it was a message from the doctor. Hailey's life was hanging in the balance. It was time to ask him for the money. This was the wrong time for this to be happening but I had no choice. In the course of our quarrel and my dilemma, I had temporarily forgotten about Hailey.

My heart was bleeding. I sighed, wiping my eyes but they soon filled as soon as they landed on the exquisite diamond ring I was wearing. The evidence I was no longer a single woman, but it felt heavy nestled on my finger.

Some wives took a look at their rings and the man that wore it on them, and felt this sense of belonging and love. But mine was different. I felt more frustrated and depressed than ever. It was a one-sided love.

My phone buzzed, I checked the caller ID, and just as I feared, it was the doctor. My gaze went back to Jaxon who was removing his shirt, we were in our room and it was late. Very late. For the doctor to be reaching out so late, it could only mean something was very wrong. "Can I get some money from you, please?"

He turned to me. A bitter chuckle escaped his lips. "Coming from someone who just said and I quote 'everything is not just about money and comfort'. You're such a hypocrite." He said the last part in disgust.

I was willing to swallow whatever insult he was throwing at me for the sake Hailey. I would not have married him, even though I had a crush on him. I would have kept my feelings to myself and moved on, but I could not move on because he was the only person that was readily available to marry me and render financial assistance.

"It's not what you think." I countered in an attempt to defend myself, he was wrong about me. I was not as he was seeing me.

"Not what I think?" A dry laugh escaped from his throat. "It's what your gender will always say when they have been caught in the act, but then you don't actually have any other thing to say. I thought you were smart, even though a gold digger, but you're just as lame as every other gold digger out there."

"Please Jaxon, stop it. You're hurting me with your words. You make love with me almost every night yet you can not respect me. You treat me as though I'm some one-night stand you picked from the street. Why?" My heart was breaking, my head was throbbing. I just generally felt sick in that instant.

"We have sex, Ayla, we don't make love. And in case you have forgotten, I only agreed to this union so you can give me children, don't delude yourself of anything more or different."

I could never win. He knew just the words to say to break me down and disorganize me, and he said them without mercy.

He walked to his closet and pulled out a drawer, he brought out a card. He threw it at me. "There's millions in that account, it's yours. Get yourself whatever you want."

Without any more word, he walked into the bathroom.