Chapter 1 The beginning of the end

I sped through the solitary streets of Seattle, speeding because I wanted to get home quickly, get home quickly because home was where my boyfriend was. We had been in a relationship for four months now though we still kept it private, I was pretty sure we were crazy for each other.

I hardly fell in love, but Nicholas had swept me up on my feet. It had been the cute meet everybody talks about. I had been in a coffee shop trying to get coffee and the queue had been long, I dropped my purse and bent to take it, and so had this handsome stranger.

"Oops"

"Sorry I'm clumsy and upset this morning"

"It's okay." He had looked at me and smiled a broad smile, enveloping me in his warmth, and instantly I had wanted to wrap him in my hands.

"How about I give you my coffee, which means I save you the stress of waiting for your turn" he had said and I knew it sounded like it had a twist

"And what do you get?" I asked

"Your number so I could take you out for a date"

I had been dumbfounded, I was hardly asked out because I never really left an opening for anyone to approach me. But this fresh out-of-college guy was asking for my number and I was giving it to him.

It has been bliss ever since.

I knocked on the door after I parked my car in my garage, but there was no response. I brought out my keys and opened it, the lights were on, a clear indication that someone was in. Most definitely Nicholas.

I called out to him, and I heard feet shuffling from our bedroom, already anticipating the worst. The pessimist that I am, I went in and there and then, my heart stopped and horror ran through me.

"Ellie" he gasped, and I shook my head

"No"

I went blank and quietly walked backward till I was at the entrance, with the urgency I had come upstairs with I ran back to my car and drove off to the nearest bar I could think of.

I didn't know the reflex that had driven me there but it had and I was there at 11:46 ordering a fry whiskey. The bartender was looking at me like I had gone mad, maybe I had.

I was a woman in a two-piece suit with her hair packed perfectly ordering shot after shot of whiskey.

I stared into space and remained there until the image of my boyfriend with another girl blurred in my head, I was already convinced that I was stuck. I was angry and distraught, how could he have done that to me? I had invested my whole being into making this work and he was just going to throw it all out.

My heart shattered over and over again in my chest and I couldn't take any more shots. I was more angry than heartbroken. Nobody played with my heart, I didn't deserve it.

The bartender came over and announced they were closing. I pulled out a bundle of cash and paid him. I was sure I had over-tipped but it was the least of my problems.

***************

I got home yet again, I felt Deja Vu but with different emotions. I hoped he had gotten rid of the 'girl' and himself too. I found the door opened and immediately he came out and stood by the couch.

"You're wasted Ellie," he said looking at me warily

"Do not tell me what I am or not, but I'd tell you what you are. A cheater!" I said, poking my hands into his chest.

He was so built, and his consistency at fitness had been something else I had admired about him, he dared cheat on me. He went after another woman, a younger woman.

She didn't even look like she was out of college yet.

"Let me explain El," he said trying to hold me, I weakly shook off his grip.

"What is there to say, Nick? Was it a mistake? Go ahead and say you bringing another woman to my house to have sexual relations was a mistake and I would teach you how to try again"

"That's the problem with you El you're so controlling, I wanted to be in control for once"

"What do you mean I'm controlling? How has that got to do with you cheating?" I said almost tearing up.

I never cried, not even when I was not valedictorian in school, not even when I missed my first job, but now I was on the brink of tears. I blamed it on the drink.

"You always have your stuff together, I needed out. I needed to be not so organised"

"Are you saying you cheated because I am organised? None of this is making sense Nick"

"Ellie, I don't want to do this with you anymore. I know that it hurts your pride. But I feel like myself when I'm with her and I want to explore what we have. Sorry about using your bed" he said and I watched him walk away.

I remained where I was and then suddenly, adrenaline from the alcohol kicked in

"Nick!!" I screamed "I want you out of my house this instant, I don't want you near here. Leave, I don't want to see your face" I said, throwing out his shirt.

He came out of the bathroom and looked at me like I was crazy, I didn't care.

"Leave here Nick! Leave" I cried. He put on a shirt and went over to pick up his keys

"I've always known you were crazy. You're finally snapping out" he said as he jingled the key

I threw a throw pillow at him and he jammed the door.

I sat on the ground and wept, I wept for the months that I had wasted. I wept for the memories that would haunt me and I wept because of the pain that gnawed and ate at me. Nick could not have the last bite.